[nicoleb2]

I know that it rarely happens, but I was crying today because I am going to be unable to do some things I had planned. Physical pain won't allow...

So I went off on my own to cry and think. So my husband follows me.

All is well till he says "do you need to call someone" as in do you need to call your therapist or a crisis line....

Why am I not allowed to show any emotion? Why? Why is it necessary for me to call a therapist or crisis line just because I cry?

I wanted to bludgeon my husband for being so stupid!!!

[ECHOES]

Aww, I'm sorry you are feeling sad and disappointed.
Do you think your husband was saying something about him, too? Maybe that he finds it difficult when you are experiencing disappointment. Or that he wishes to 'fix' things for you and feels inadequate to do that himself.

When things are calm again, what about talking to him about this and tell him how you feel, and give him some ideas about how to help - whether that is him comforting you, or letting you have your space and time to cry, or however you would like.

[Flooded]

That would piss me off too. Men can be so braindead.

[Inedible]

Originally Posted by nicoleb2

So I went off on my own to cry and think. So my husband follows me.

Have you ever punished him for not following you to find out what is wrong? If you have - even just from his point of view - then he probably learned his lesson.

Originally Posted by nicoleb2

All is well till he says "do you need to call someone" as in do you need to call your therapist or a crisis line....

You are crying, he doesn't know why, and he doesn't know how serious whatever the problem is.

Originally Posted by nicoleb2

Why am I not allowed to show any emotion? Why?

Of course you are allowed to show emotion. Did your husband actually say you can't show emotion? Or someone else?

Originally Posted by nicoleb2

Why is it necessary for me to call a therapist or crisis line just because I cry?

It isn't really the kind of thing that would come to mind unless it is a strategy that you have used before, successfully.

[nicoleb2]

He knew why I was crying, we had just talked about it. As for a strategy I have used successfully, I have called my therapist before, when I was depressed to the point of being non-functional.
He did not say that I am not allowed to show emotion, however, instantly jumping to me needing to call t or a crisis line pretty much tells me that I can't cry without him panicking that I am suicidal (when I attempted suicide, it was a time when I would not show ANY emotion, so crying has never been related to that).
And no, I have not "punished him" for not following me. We have talked about my need to have some space when I am crying, because it means I am overwhelmed and need time to think.

This is totally NOT about me punishing him. This is about me being treated like no matter what I do, no matter if I am showing a NORMAL emotion, the conclusion is that I am in crisis.

[learningtolive]

I'm sorry Nicole, that is so frustrating. It seems the people closest to us (in my case anyway) just don't get it....my husband doesn't even acknowledge my issues with BPD...he focuses on the depression/anxiety and will get frustrated with me, which makes me feel worse like I'm some kind of loser who just can't be happy and do fun things, or things around the house........I just don't think the people that are closest to us understand the intensity of our emotions, and we may just need to cry! I hope you feel better. hugs to you..

[beauflow]

Hugs to you nicholeb. It's very frustrating when emotion or i believe emotion is ok and get told some Crap. I agree with some of Echos things thou. He loves you and cares. I also agree with flooded though humans are at times.
I can relate with space, i'll share this but there are some times my boyfriend does come and check me out. It's cuz he knows i'm rather more upset than just the overwhelmed. He cares. Yes he has said things that have put me in a rage but it's innocent hopeful help from him- i do believe after words even if days later.

I Hope you the best. And get well soon.

[nicoleb2]

My biggest issue with this is I am tired of being treated as though my mental illness is who I am.
I am human just the same as everyone else. I have emotions (I try not to, but they sneak up sometimes).
I would never presume to ask someone if they needed to call their therapist or a crisis line just for crying. I was under the impression that crying is a normal human response to stress.
My therapist wonders why I hide my emotions, this is one of the reasons.