[Ashleigh28]

I know when I became a mother, I stopped cutting but then my eating/trich compensated. I am curious if you became a parent, if you noticed anything that changed for you?

[Flooded]

I didn't know I had a BPD until my second child was 2 yrs old but nothing has changed.

[PleaseHelp]

I have twin (step - we don't use that word) daughters. I knew I was BPD before they came into my life. I don't know that anything has changed. I know I work harder in therapy and am able to normally cope better when they are around.

[ECHOES]

Yes, in a way I got to do some growing up as my son did. I got the feel good about loving him, nurturing him, rocking him, feeding and caring for him, playing with him. We both adored Mr. Rogers! I loved taking him outside to explore the world, because I got to see it fresh through his wondrous curiosity.
I just had a whole new perspective to my life and things mattered in ways they hadn't before.
In fact, I very much fell apart again when he grew up and "flew" away.

Thanks for a good thread!

[Ashleigh28]

Echoes... I worry about my son leaving for school and me dettaching from him, did you experience that or is he older and moved out?

I know for me personally, he has helped control my "releases". With that being said, I have also been pretty depressed because of it. But I want to be healthy for him and I think that is a great motivator, he does give me a reason to cope better. Thats for sure!

[dirt69juggalo]

I didn't know I was till after my kids were born since I've been dx so I don't know if I've changed

[ECHOES]

Originally Posted by Ashleigh28

Echoes... I worry about my son leaving for school and me dettaching from him, did you experience that or is he older and moved out?

I know for me personally, he has helped control my "releases". With that being said, I have also been pretty depressed because of it. But I want to be healthy for him and I think that is a great motivator, he does give me a reason to cope better. Thats for sure!

He is a grown man now.

Even when he was in school, the school year schedule was helpful to me. I also started a job that was a structured environment and I think that helped too.

You will continue to want to be healthy for him, to be Mom you want him to have, and the Mom you want to be. Do you have the support of a therapist? That is something I wish I had the opportunity to have back then, because I was not truly the Mom I wanted to be, and because it would have been so nice to have the support.

[nicoleb2]

I wasn't dx'd until after my kids were born. Unfortunately for them, I am still really struggling. Although most of it I take out on myself with SI

[Ashleigh28]

I take everything out on my fiance. I am constantly asking myself "why is he still with me"

Originally Posted by nicoleb2

I wasn't dx'd until after my kids were born. Unfortunately for them, I am still really struggling. Although most of it I take out on myself with SI

[summeryoga]

I wasn't diagnosed unti last summer, and I have two kids - 6 and 2. Being a mother with BPD makes me want to do ANYTHING to be ok/stable/healthy. If I didn't have kids, I doubt I would feel that way. As a mom, I throw myself into therapy, DBT work, and I am on low-dose anxiety meds. Without all of those things, I'm a less healthy mom.

If I wasn't a mother, I don't think I'd be working my arse off the way I am to be more balanced. Being a mother gives me reason to work every second of every day to control my bpd mind. I don't know what will happen when they are older and move out ... hopefully by then I will continue the therapy, DBT, and meds for myself and for my marriage ...