[Brokenwings73]

I was feeling totally rejected and let down. I was assaulted on Jan1 but boyhood the police and the detectives ( all men) who interviewed me made me feel like I fabricated the story. They got the assailants story first and dice mine didn't Mach his. I was wring and coerced to recant. I fleas angry dint trust anyone and took a nose dive iff the deep end. I didn't eat for 12 days, took 3 times my pain meds and benzo then cracked open a bottle of wine and starred drinking. I took myself to the ER but felt ignored and rejected there so I took the bp cuff putt it around my neck and since the cord was ling strung it over the lamp to hamg myself. This all is so out of character fir me but I couldn't get passed the feelings of rejection and abandonment . I spent a few days in the psych ward no feelings if self harm just still feeling violently angry and very rejected and don't know where to put this feelings. I always though they were bipolar symptoms evidently not I need advice. I see my T tomorrow to find out more about thus BPD but I stool feel out of control with feelings, I just want to scream And I don't know how to cry. Anyone know where I should turn or do?

[Rosie23]

Turn to your t-doc. Tell all, no matter how hard it is. Being honest with yourself and the doc can only help.

[Forgive77]

Originally Posted by Brokenwings73

I was feeling totally rejected and let down. I was assaulted on Jan1 but boyhood the police and the detectives ( all men) who interviewed me made me feel like I fabricated the story. They got the assailants story first and dice mine didn't Mach his. I was wring and coerced to recant. I fleas angry dint trust anyone and took a nose dive iff the deep end. I didn't eat for 12 days, took 3 times my pain meds and benzo then cracked open a bottle of wine and starred drinking. I took myself to the ER but felt ignored and rejected there so I took the bp cuff putt it around my neck and since the cord was ling strung it over the lamp to hamg myself. This all is so out of character fir me but I couldn't get passed the feelings of rejection and abandonment . I spent a few days in the psych ward no feelings if self harm just still feeling violently angry and very rejected and don't know where to put this feelings. I always though they were bipolar symptoms evidently not I need advice. I see my T tomorrow to find out more about thus BPD but I stool feel out of control with feelings, I just want to scream And I don't know how to cry. Anyone know where I should turn or do?

ya. tell your T. That was some trauma baby, and that would send anyone into an episode...issues or not. I prob would have punched the dumb *** cops and be in jail....lol...you're doing better than I would have.

[Brokenwings73]

QUOTE=Forgive77;2194117]ya. tell your T. That was some trauma baby, and that would send anyone into an episode...issues or not. I prob would have punched the dumb *** cops and be in jail....lol...you're doing better than I would have. [/QUOTE]

the first cops that came to question me screamed and hollered at me like I asked for it. I yelled at him if he missed sensitivity training that week bc he sure was being an ***. He said he could arrest me on the spot for false allegations and not showing up to fight a traffic ticket. He had his cuffs out and all! I had paperwork supporting why I had to
Postpone that date and called my lawyer he wouldn't talk yo him. The cop just kept threatening me I had fantasies of taking control of the situation but I to would be sitting I jail I did tell them get the f$$$ out several times.
Thanks for your words of support !!!