I have BPD. Got it bad. And I've been reading all the right books to get better. Participated in outpatient therapy. I've been struggling with these feelings for so long and I want to start enjoying my life already.

I have no idea who I am.

I'm more of a cartoon of a woman than an actual one. I feel a lot of pain and loneliness. I'm able to connect sometimes with others but mostly I feel different. Alien to this world. I try to feed myself some happiness by looking for hobbies. I try to meet people who might fill the void but it doesn't work. I always wind up being myself, whoever that might be. I'm a fragment mess. Shards of someone or something but not whole.

Sometimes I can even explain what is wrong.

[I'mNotReal]

Originally Posted by Stardustedforever

I have BPD. Got it bad. And I've been reading all the right books to get better. Participated in outpatient therapy. I've been struggling with these feelings for so long and I want to start enjoying my life already.

I have no idea who I am.

I'm more of a cartoon of a woman than an actual one. I feel a lot of pain and loneliness. I'm able to connect sometimes with others but mostly I feel different. Alien to this world. I try to feed myself some happiness by looking for hobbies. I try to meet people who might fill the void but it doesn't work. I always wind up being myself, whoever that might be. I'm a fragment mess. Shards of someone or something but not whole.

Sometimes I can even explain what is wrong.

WOW! Thats me!! (scary... - lol)

You are not alone. I know the feeling.

'I'm a fragment mess'

i feel you sweetie

Originally Posted by bb2023

'I'm a fragment mess'

i feel you sweetie

Thanks for the support

I know there are pieces of me missing. I'm always that little girl standing outside the crowd watching what they are doing. I don't find what they discuss interesting but I still don't like the fact that I cannot join in. It's so uncomfortable.

[MDDBPDPTSD]

I know there are pieces of me missing. I'm always that little girl standing outside the crowd watching what they are doing. I don't find what they discuss interesting but I still don't like the fact that I cannot join in. It's so uncomfortable.

Wow. I could have wrote that a few years ago. Now I do not want to join in. I do not want to be like them or to have them include me. But I know the discomfort of not being able to join. I am still missing some key pieces of me. Look at it this way: At least we are holey. (not holy, but one who has holes is holey)

My stupid attempt at humor. I wish I could help you patch your holes and gather your pieces. Hang in there.