[Walking_Dead]

It's been a while since I've posted so I am a bit hesitant to do so now because the last post I made didn't go so well at first. Tonight I sit here thinking that maybe its time. Time to speak because all I can do is think and that never seems to end as well as I'd like. I need to cry, I can feel it, yet the tears won't come. The loneliness never truly goes away does it? It doesn't feel like anything I can do will make the pain go away. Oh how I want it to go away. It's either that or I slowly slip more and more into oblivion. Oblivion is looking very good right now.

[MrGrendel]

whyyyyyyyyy are you feeling exactly like me lol. its a really **** feeling isnt it? ive only made three posts so far so i dont really know what im doing... still lol i just keep randomly answering other ppl's posts, but somehow... it feels good lol. alot of people voice the same things im going through and that feels like im not alone and that my feelings are real and that they matter. plz plz plz dont embrace oblivion because like many poeple with our ****** affliction, ive been there and im sure uve been there and it's not a nice place at all. better to keep posting on here. why dont you elaborate some more on those ****** feeling your having, is anything specific triggering them?

[Walking_Dead]

Originally Posted by MrGrendel

whyyyyyyyyy are you feeling exactly like me lol. its a really **** feeling isnt it? ive only made three posts so far so i dont really know what im doing... still lol i just keep randomly answering other ppl's posts, but somehow... it feels good lol. alot of people voice the same things im going through and that feels like im not alone and that my feelings are real and that they matter. plz plz plz dont embrace oblivion because like many poeple with our ****** affliction, ive been there and im sure uve been there and it's not a nice place at all. better to keep posting on here. why dont you elaborate some more on those ****** feeling your having, is anything specific triggering them?

I get so lost anymore about the things that are triggering. It feels like everything does. When I wrote this earlier, it was self-image. Other times its because one thought, even if it is positive, continues into another and another until it ends with negativity. Fear, shame, guilt, anger. That is all I seem to know. At this point I could care less if I am happy even. I just want to feel nothing, zombie like.

[athena2011]

Originally Posted by Walking_Dead

Other times its because one thought, even if it is positive, continues into another and another until it ends with negativity. Fear, shame, guilt, anger.

I can so relate to this. I can turn every single positive event (of which there are few) into a negative. I think it takes work to turn the thinking around. Positive books help me. Chicken Soup for the Soul is a good one. Just little inspiring stories. This reminds me, I got some reading to catch up on. Haven't been doing this lately. Could be another reason why I'm so down.