[Jamielow]

i'm not haveing a good day tears won't stop feel like crap i have the urge to end it can't see any light at the end stuck on my own no one to talk to who will listen black thoughts won't leave i don't know what i want in life know its not worth any more i need my mum but she's with the angles i need to be with her missing what i had. bpd is crap not going back to hospital no more tierd of being so low

Originally Posted by Jamielow

i'm not haveing a good day tears won't stop feel like crap i have the urge to end it can't see any light at the end stuck on my own no one to talk to who will listen black thoughts won't leave i don't know what i want in life know its not worth any more i need my mum but she's with the angles i need to be with her missing what i had. bpd is crap not going back to hospital no more tierd of being so low

Sounds like you had a really rough day hun, is there anyone you can call? Do you find samaritans or saneline helpful? I wish i could be there with you but please, if your feeling suicidal let someone in a professional capacity know. Can you get hold of your T monday? Please PM if you wanna chat, im here for you buddy

[shezbut]

I'm sorry that you're having such a tough time right now, Jamie.

Gentle hugs sent your way...

[Towanda]

Originally Posted by Jamielow

i'm not haveing a good day tears won't stop feel like crap i have the urge to end it can't see any light at the end stuck on my own no one to talk to who will listen black thoughts won't leave i don't know what i want in life know its not worth any more i need my mum but she's with the angles i need to be with her missing what i had. bpd is crap not going back to hospital no more tierd of being so low

Jamielow, I'm glad you reached out to us here on PC but you need to reach out to a real person. Is there ANYONE at all you can talk to? If not, please try 1-800-suicide. The people there are really warm and caring and will talk as long as you want. I know - I've called them in the past.

You need to climb out of the black hole you're in and find a reason to go on. You're a human being - a person - you're life has meaning and worth. Don't waste it. Don't give in and give up. Yes bpd is miserable - I am bpd and bipolar and major depressive. I'm also a recovering alcoholic, struggle with SA and SI. I've had many moments where I felt like I couldn't take one more step. But somehow taking life one minute at a time sometimes, one day at a time, one crisis at a time, has led to the ability to climb out of the abyss and make a better life for myself.

I'm not trying to give you a "life is a bed of roses" pep talk - it still sucks sometimes. I hate dealing with a mental illness and the side effects of meds, and the emotional pain that therapy can bring. But is being alive worth it? You bet it is - it got better, a little at a time. I'm still bpd and bipolar and alcoholic and SI. But I deal with it now and find happiness while I'm doing it.

Jamielow, please take one step, any step you can in the direction of help. You are so worth it!! PM me if you want to talk. My thoughts and prayers will be with you.

[athena2011]

Originally Posted by Towanda

But is being alive worth it? You bet it is - it got better, a little at a time. I'm still bpd and bipolar and alcoholic and SI. But I deal with it now and find happiness while I'm doing it.

Well, that's the most inspiring thing I've read in a long time. Thanks Towanda

Originally Posted by athena2011

Well, that's the most inspiring thing I've read in a long time. Thanks Towanda

Isn't she great?

I don't wanna embarass you Towanda, but i really like your way of thinking and you put so much thought and compassion into you posts. Sorry ive never posted anything like this before, but i just wanna say thank you for being here - you rock

[frowningdown]

Jamielow: Are you alright? We are all here and most of us here know how you feel because we have been there (or are there) ourselves. We are routing for you. Hope you can just keep going, like Towanda said, even if it is just for a minute at a time.

[Jamielow]

thanks for all the kind posts ive been to the pdoc and i'm on more meds sorry i'm in a dark place but with your help i'v the feeln i'm going to make it love you all