[BorderlineBrittany]

So I've been in this relationship for almost 3 weeks... Been seeing eachother for well over a month.. And my BPD is on full mode right now..
He's leaving for work to another city, same company different division, well be in 3 different provinces for up to 3 months! He doesn't live here to start with and doesn't really have any reason to come back.. but he says he wants to move here and he wants to be with me.. But i keep asking him are you sure? You promise to come back? and all this... I know BPD or no BPD this would be hard.. I probably wont see my bf for 3 months.. How do I just trust his word that when hes off he'll come back? That he actually does want to be with me? It's so early in our relationship.. I don't know how to be not needy.. I don't know how to be patient and have self control.. Does anyone have any good opinions on what I should do? How do i trust he says what he says and what he wants is true? How do i know im not wasting the next 3 months? I have serious feelings for this guy.. I don't know if he does or not?

[cboxpalace]

I'm not sure if I can word this to make sense, but I'll try... I think, the first thing you need to do is be mindful of the fact it's only been 3 weeks. I also think you should try and be mindful there is a realistic possibility the relationship won't survive 3 months apart. I'm NOT saying it won't.. What I am saying is don't put all your hopes and dreams in this... Be aware that it might not survive. That way if it doesn't you don't come crashing down to hard...

[BorderlineBrittany]

The thing is is that Im am being realitstic.. Maybe It doesnt sound taht way in my first post.. But I end things so quickly usually. Something like this usually would've stopped me on my feet and i would've ended it.. But I have a strong feeling.. Im letting things just go with it.. Which i dont normally..

[cboxpalace]

Originally Posted by BorderlineBrittany

But I have a strong feeling..

It's a strong feeling, but strong feelings can change, circumstances can change.. Be mindful of that

Im letting things just go with it.. Which i dont normally..

This is a good thing, because you're attempting to break past patterns you see as being dysfunctional.

** give me a second.. I'm gonna really go over your thread again ***

[BorderlineBrittany]

You dont have to really go over my thread! You usually do that in the first look! lol
I really am trying to change my patterns... I just don't know how some times.. I never know waht the good way to go is...
Im aware that the feelings may change.. And im scared of that.. But i have an open mind..

[cboxpalace]

All you can do is take him at his word, and that is.... he says he wants to be with you, and that he's coming back. I believe that is true today. How do you actually know that he's going to return in 3 months... You don't!!! Things change.... Here's some things you've written...

I have serious feelings for this guy.. I don't know if he does or not?

You're not sure if he has serious feelings for you. I'd be concerned about that.

It's so early in our relationship

Very true!!! Also very rational..

And my BPD is on full mode right now..

Are you thinking logically or emotionally???

You've seen each other for 3 weeks, and emotions are running extremely high, because you're in this honeymoon stage of a relationship where everything is GREAT!!! I believe him when he says he has every intention of coming back. I think you need to mindful of the facts quoted above. There is a very realistic possibility that during the next 3 months your feelings will change, his feelings will change or both your feelings will change. There is no way to predict this.

1. think logically and not emotionally
2. I'd be concerned that you're not sure if he's as serious as you are.
3. Keep bpd in check..

If this relationship is something you want to pursue then you take it week by week. Be mindful of the fact if it doesn't work out.. it's NOT because of you or because he lied or mislead you... it's because you were at a VERY early stage in a relationship where emotions were running high, and the relationship didn't have the chance to fully develop... So trust his word, but be mindful of the fact the relationship is young, and circumstances do change..

Hopefully this helps some...

[BorderlineBrittany]

Thanks Cbox... That is helpful.. And alot of what people are telling me right now.. I should just stop worrying..
The reason I am concerned on whether hes serious or not is because hes younger.. I have kids.. he doesnt.. and i worry alot and have severe trust issues. I dont really believe when people say something... I think your saying it to keep me happy... He says it that he wants to be with me.. but yet i still have a hard time believing it? mainly because ive been played so much in the past that thats just what i believe now.. i know its stupid... but hard to quit..