[ThinkingAboutClouds]

In truth, I haven't gone to an official mental health doctor but I have had counseling sessions with my old academic advisor. She was certified to certain things such as give me tests and such, and be sorta like a therapist. But it is apparent that BPD is very likely to be a part of my life.

Its been a year since I've last spoken to her. But I've been dealing with the symptoms if BPD al my life. I can't really take it anymore. But I don't know how to come out about it with my family and friends/co-workers that something like this may be wrong. I don't want to be abandoned by those few people...because they don't want to deal with me. But then I do think they deserve a possible explanation for me being a constant burden.

I guess, I'm just confused on if I want to be so open. Or is it silly to be so afraid of people not wanting to be around me anymore. Or what if they think thus is just some lame excuse for my childish behavior all these years?

I just want some help but I don't know if anyone will take me seriously

[ChaoticSymphony]

I would really think about how supportive your family and friends have been in the past. What their opinions are on mental health. I know when I told my mom that I had a bpd I didn't get the response I was hoping for ie hug me and tell me it will be ok, research on it to see how she can help or understand...those types of things. So when I told it was sorta like rejection one more time..the one time I finally have this word that puts me in a nuts shell and I can grasp onto she brushed off. So ya think about it.

[Girl_Interrupted]

I wouldn't worry about it until you're diagnosed. See a therapist, and then worry about telling people, otherwise you might worry or people might run away for no reason, when you may have nothing wrong at all, or something else.

[ThinkingAboutClouds]

Thanks very much for your responses
Both are very constructive and help ease my mind.

ChaoticSymphony: My friends...I'm supposed I'm not to worried about them. I've pushed them far enough away that, I don't think they'll be around much longer. BUt I have thought about my family's support. My mom is a bit "wishy washy" - lack of a better way to explain it
Sometimes she's helpful other times hurtful. I don't plan on bothering my younger siblings with it. They're young and need to focus on school. I'm also not worried about my father because he dosen't believe that mental illnesses eist int he first place. If I had the means of handling everything myself I would. But I'm only 19, I only work part time, and I'm planning on starting school again full time. So I'm might dependent.
I'm sorry your mom did that to you. But I won't brush you off if you ever want to talk! I have a lot of free time!

Girl Interrupted: That is true. I really shouldn't think so hard about it until I get something official. But, I don't know it feels kind of secure just having "maybe this is why" reason. Even if it was just a basic test I took, I don't feel as lost. However if nothing is wrong with me or its not what I think it is I might be...lost for a while silly me I guess. That aside, my worries don't really leave me because I have to tell someone in order for me to get any help. I don't have my own insurence nor do I make enough to afford my own health stuff. I don't want to use the excuse that I'm young but...I really don't have any idea of how to take care of myself other than basic stuff. Paying bills, going to the doctor on my own...I only recently went to the dentist by myself. Hah, I guess I'm rather pathetic.

I guess its just my situation, in short I probably won't be able to do anything without a valid reason. Some how I surrounded myself with people that need one.

[ChaoticSymphony]

Kudos on being so young and in tune with what's going on with you...I wish I had that knowledge when I was that age...It would of saved me a lot of hard times (and some really good ones lol). I would honestly talk to your parents then if you need their financial support. Would hate to see lack of money be the reason you can't get in for a lil help. Best of luck

[cboxpalace]

Originally Posted by ThinkingAboutClouds

In truth, I haven't gone to an official mental health doctor but I have had counseling sessions with my old academic advisor. She was certified to certain things such as give me tests and such, and be sorta like a therapist. But it is apparent that BPD is very likely to be a part of my life.

sorta like a therapist isn't a therapist.. You should see a therapist if inclined.

But I don't know how to come out about it with my family and friends/co-workers that something like this may be wrong. I don't want to be abandoned by those few people...because they don't want to deal with me. But then I do think they deserve a possible explanation for me being a constant burden.

proceed with caution.. Not everyone needs to know. Some will accept you, some won't, some won't care, and some will leave you and that goes for family members to. You should try to think of it as a need to know basis. Telling family members is one things, telling others is something else. I'm not sure what is to be gained by telling anyone other than family members/or friends you trust. Telling does not make the behavior more acceptable though.

I guess, I'm just confused on if I want to be so open.

My opinion is NO don't be so open about it.. Not everyone will be accepting of it .

Or is it silly to be so afraid of people not wanting to be around me anymore. Or what if they think thus is just some lame excuse for my childish behavior all these years?

Not all, but some may not want to be around you anymore, and also no unlikely for some to think all it is, is an excuse.

I just want some help but I don't know if anyone will take me seriously

My advice is kee it on a need to know basis and share only with those that will be accepting of it, because there are plenty that won't be.

[shezbut]

TAC, (Sorry, I'm feeling too lazy to type out your name )

I would recommend taking this test, if you haven't already.

http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/borderline.htm

You are young, yes. Just so you know, there are services at schools to help those who need assistance. For instance, nurses, doctors, information available for low-cost help within the community.

I would advise you to try not to diagnose yourself. It can be tempting, with all of the available information on the internet. But, it takes a little bit of knowledge to know what are reputable web-sites for different information. Know what I mean?

That said, there is a very helpful site for DBT (developed for treating people with BPD). I often refer others to it!

http://www.dbtselfhelp.com

Check it out! There's a ton of very helpful information there!

[heyitsryan]

Shezbut, thanks for that link. I need to go to school and print a bunch of the pages on that site.

[heyitsryan]

ThinkingAboutClouds,

I am probably repeating other posters, but I too would proceed w/ caution before disclosing anything to friends and co-workers. I would particularly steer clear of using the word "borderline." There is a lot of stigma attached to it, and as others have pointed out, you have not bee formally diagnosed yet. You absolutely do NOT want that label attached to you, particularly if it is not accurate.

Also, I am not certain how large or small your city/ town/ community is (ok, now I see your profile states Virginia Beach, which not a huge city by any means), but if you tell friends, many will tell their parents and other friends, etc. People tend to remember that kind of thing. You never know, it's a small world, and 2 yrs. from now you may find yourself being interviewed for a job you really want, and the person interviewing you is a co-worker or friend, etc of one of your friends' parents or a former co-worker. All that parent of a friend or former co-worker would have to do is mention that you are borderline, and I can pretty much guarantee you would not get the job. It wouldn't matter if you had gotten treatment, or if it turned out that you weren't even borderline to being with, or you had glowing references. Being labeled borderline presents these kinds of scenarios, as unfair or unfortunate as it may be. Stuff to think about.

I'm not suggesting that close friends who you trust cannot be confided in.... telling others can be empowering and cathartic, and open up levels of understanding that can save a relationship. But I would tread very carefully in disclosing to anyone a BPD diagnosis (or suspicious, as the case may be!). Remember, most of your friends and co-workers are going to know a LOT less about this and other psych disorders than you, and misinformation and stereotypes abound.

Best of luck to you!