[Li_FB]

I don't know if this thread is in the right place but my main problem is Borderline and sometimes my mind spins over different stuff so fast that i can't tell what what's going on in my head...

basically my Sister is coming to see me later but I'm not great with people i don't see that often. this morning i couldn't wait to see her but my heads spinning now about all the negative possibilities that could happen but im not actually sure what im nervous about exactly, I got the butterflies and feeling pretty hyper and my chest pounding so i think I basically concerned about making a royal tool out of myself. I tried all the usual stuff - Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, chamomile tea, blah blah.. but its only helping for a bit.

does anyone know how I can calm down and relax for like a few hours just until the visits over cause i dont really want to be canceling this late in the day..so annoying - i was looking forward to it before.

[Amigdala]

Hi Li_FB, I'm not exactly the right person to give advice but I know how you feel and sometimes I realize that when I'm faced with this kind of situations - want to do something and at the same time don't want to or want to do it and immediately after don't want to - the best thing is doing something like that. For example, if I don't wanna talk to anyone I avoid people but if, for some reason, I must do it, then I feel better and I wish that moment would never end. It's a twisted speech but the point is... try to stay with somebody right now, even at the phone, to prepare positively yourself to your sister's visit. Maybe a walk could help you. Or writing emails to friends. Something which connects you to people. It's difficult if you're not great with the others and when you're not in the mood, but it could work. It's really really difficult but not impossible.

[Miss Jade]

I can relate. Sounds to me like some general anxiety? Or maybe social anxiety. Anyway, if she's someone you don't see often, and you suffer from anxiety I think it makes sense. It's hard to offer advice on how to calm down. I'm not great at the relaxing thing myself. But one thing I thought for you - write down those possible negative outcomes of your sister coming round in one collumn. Then in another collumn, write down a positive alternative.

For example: I may say something stupid, and she's going to think I'm weird.
We might have a really good conversation, have a laugh, and things may run smoothly.

Or another way is thinking "ok, this is going to be a terrible night. I'm going to say and do all the wrong things, and my sister is going to think I'm a weirdo.

And treat that as if it's a fact. So if it does happen, you've prepared yourself for it. You expect it. Two opposite ways of dealing with anxiety, I've been told in the past. Both may be absolutely useless for you. But worth a shot? Hope you have a nice evening - I bet things will turn out fine. :-) x

[Li_FB]

thanks So much ! I took all that advice with both hands i bashed the weights pretty hard for 20 mins and had jog round the estate in the rain feeling loads calmer now and drew up a nice chart and gonna do what you said and im gonna fill it in before she comes. but i know im not gonna cancel now

[OctobersBlackRose]

I can relate to you also, it does come with gen. anxiety I get the same feeling just going to dinner or the store with my family. But in reality things usually go better than expected or what anxiety brings on, and good techniques to relax do help

[Li_FB]

just wanted to say, had a top evening with my sister and her son, i was a bit nervous again at first but my anxiety dropped after like 10 minutes, when im nervous i appear overconfident almost cocky and it was so noticable last night and i would have had to cancel if wasnt for you guys. cant thank you enough, Bless !

[Miss Jade]

Yay! Glad to hear it.

[Amigdala]

Great! Was sure it would go all right!
Hugs!

i an relate to appearing over confident/cocky - until recently i believed my own facade!