[LoneWolfie]

Ok I have been doing a 6 week program on Distress tolerance so that I can get into the intensive 15 week DBT in the fall. I have to admit that over the last few weeks, I am thinking some of these people are going to be in the same program and they will drive me ****en nuts.

Some people have been through programs in the past and yet here they are again. This is my first go around and I am be no means perfect BUT you know damn well there is homework, yet I was the only one that actually did it!!!

Why do these people even bother to come when they aren't even trying to help themselves?

Yes I am ranting because I am tired of listening to people whining yet do nothing to help themselves.

No am not in a great place myself, but I am atleast giving it effort since I do want my life to change for the better.

I worry that once I am through the program that over time as everything in my life so far, I will slack and everything I learned will fall by the wayside and I will be back to square one. I just discussed this with my older brother last night.

At least I am giving it the ol college try when I am attending the different programs, since it is to benefit ME. Why these other people bother showing up, and well we started with 12 we are down to 5 or 6 people now. Never the same ones either, you are telling me that once a week for 6 weeks you can't make time for the group that is a whole hour and a half?

I'm done ranting, needed to get it out of my system. I am frustrated and I just find the whole thing a total distraction.

LW

[cboxpalace]

I decided that I'll answer this, because I was one of those people. I think you have to keep in mind that people are in different places in their lives, as well as, frustrations. Your frustration does not equal my frustration which means how you deal with it and what you're able to do applies to you only. There were a lot of days that I didn't show up, a lot of days that I left early, and a lot of days I didn't do the homework. The fact is.. I still learned quite a bit, I can still talk intelligently about it, and I'm quite good with some of the skills specifically opposite actions, coping ahead, mindfulness, and understanding emotions. I didn't get much out of distress tolerance, and I'm quite weak in interpersonal relationships for a few reasons. I've also learned that being successful with some of the skills has brought about a new dysfunctions within me. It's not better, it's not worse it's just a different kind of "not normal".

So while the person may not be meeting your expectations or doing things the way you do, it doesn't mean their not learning...

[LoneWolfie]

Originally Posted by cboxpalace

I decided that I'll answer this, because I was one of those people. I think you have to keep in mind that people are in different places in their lives, as well as, frustrations. Your frustration does not equal my frustration which means how you deal with it and what you're able to do applies to you only. There were a lot of days that I didn't show up, a lot of days that I left early, and a lot of days I didn't do the homework. The fact is.. I still learned quite a bit, I can still talk intelligently about it, and I'm quite good with some of the skills specifically opposite actions, coping ahead, mindfulness, and understanding emotions. I didn't get much out of distress tolerance, and I'm quite weak in interpersonal relationships for a few reasons. I've also learned that being successful with some of the skills has brought about a new dysfunctions within me. It's not better, it's not worse it's just a different kind of "not normal".

So while the person may not be meeting your expectations or doing things the way you do, it doesn't mean their not learning...

We were also told right at the beginning that if you miss two days you are out of the group. I understand what you are saying and I need to keep that in mind.

I just find it distracting.

[kaliope]

it is unfortunate you have to attend with people who are not contributing. it sounds like you have a great attitude for self improvement. i remember when i called to sign up for a dbt group i had told the lady that i ordered a book on it but didnt find i could work it on my own and was looking for a group to help me out. she expressed her shock at hearing someone actually willing to do the work.

it is these people you use as an example to grow. you express your fear of falling back. it is at these times of weakness that you remember these people and ask yourself do you really want to be like them to give yourself the motivation and strenght to continue to move forward and improve yourself.

DBT offers great skills. i took an introductory group to get distress tolerance skills to manage my emotions related to ptsd. i took the group three times. it was only six weeks. the first time i felt i only got an overview. the second i could start using them and the third i felt i really understood and could incorporate them into my life. for the first time i felt my emotions werent ruling my life anymore.

good luck....

[cboxpalace]

Originally Posted by LoneWolfie

We were also told right at the beginning that if you miss two days you are out of the group. I understand what you are saying and I need to keep that in mind.

I just find it distracting.

For us it was 3... I do understand it being distracting I had people pissed off with me on occasion..

[LoneWolfie]

I have been told my my friend who is a social worker and she has told me that everyone is not in the same place. I guess I need to keep reminding myself of that, yes I realize now that I am forgetting that part. Something for me to work on.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I really appreciate this thread.

In group therapy and in support groups, it hurts to see people still having problems and it's so refreshing/inspiring and hopeful to see them recover.

It can remind me of where I've been and can *still be* when I see people still struggling or not seeming to "get it".

And I have to be careful not to judge them, too.

Billi

Sometimes when you begin a new therapy you feel more enthusiastic - i know when i began DBT i worked very hard and was determined to get as much out of it as possible. I still do homework and contribute to the group etc but i think people do become disillusioned with therapy - add to that the personal problems people may be experiencing anyway or the fact that their finding a particular module very difficult and its easy to see how some people seem disinterested but in my view if they didn't want to DBT - they wouldn't be. Just my thoughts.

[LoneWolfie]

There are many lessons I need to learn and realizing that everyone is not in the same place is a start. Thank you all for replying, the information has given me food for thought.

LW