...it don't work so good...but I do it anyway...done it anyway

remember it everyway.

"nobody can reject me....cos I already rejected myself!"

not the best way to make friends...and yet being everyone elses bad side before they themselves know it..?

this always brings them comfy closer ...and when they just cannot explain to themselves why they don't want to be there? then it's perfect for blame. because by then they cannot help but want to get the hell out of there!

no-one much likes having their mind made up for them before they agree to it!

they will never make contact again....too swift too painfully brilliant.

too borderline

Thank you dubble,

this is one of those disorders that has my mind, and the minds of others already made up...I will be rejected...
They will inevitably let me down...and reject me...
They could help me, but I don't need their help. They could love me, if they didn't reject me and leave me. If they would stay then they could love me, and help me, but they won't because they will reject me and inevitably leave me.

If I leave them first, they can't hurt me. But if I let them in and then they reject me and leave me, I will be hurt and alone and will beg , plead, cry, cut, drink, manipulate, fall into a neverending black hole of obscurity....anything...just don't leave me! But they can't get too close either, because I'm a horrible person. I'm unlovable...for that they will eventually leave me...

The cycle continues, on and on...I can't have friends, they will leave me, but I want friends, I can't be alone...

We are stuck in this catch-22 paradigm. A paradox of our own minds. Too borderline is right.