[irishclover]

Last week was unbearable, of all the things I've gone through in my life last week was the most emotional havoc wrecking. I hope the worst is over and I'm back on track. It's hard feeling stuck and alone. Although I know overcoming my emotional hurt and constant worry of abandonment will not happen rapidly, I take comfort knowing these burst of energy will help me be more productive and catch up on things I've let go of last week. (Like schoolwork) Motivated to start my paper on Asperger's Syndrome

The crying has stopped and that's nice. Also trying to overcome my issue with crying and why it bothers me so much, no clue on that one. Perhaps hearing "If you don't stop crying, I'm going to give you something to cry about."

Hope everyone is feeling okay this am!

I'm glad you feel good and inspired today. I hope for your sake that the feeling lasts for a good long while. Do expect ups and downs...they will happen, but feeling good today is a definite start in the right direction.

[irishclover]

Originally Posted by Maranara

I'm glad you feel good and inspired today. I hope for your sake that the feeling lasts for a good long while. Do expect ups and downs...they will happen, but feeling good today is a definite start in the right direction.

I was wondering if having ups and downs is part of it all. Like I can be ok and then a scent, or an object, place, memory takes me back in a matter of seconds. The lengths of sadness are getting shorter but I didn't know if was a normal process of the healing process to flucuate sometimes like 5 times a day.

Yes, I think it's normal......at least for us. When I was first abandoned, I fluctuated wildly from one emotion to another all day long, but most of them were negative. And my mind worked "black and white". When feeling sad, I was desperately, suicidally in some cases, sad; and when I was happy, I'd convince myself that the worst was over, but, of course, it would inevitably start all over again. Now, I'm still doing this but it's being measured in days instead of minutes. I'll be fine for three or four days and then something will happen and I'm back where I started. I still have the shorter episodes, but I think with the help of some of the DBT techniques and time, I've been able to cut them as well as their frequency and intensity down.

Originally Posted by irishclover

I was wondering if having ups and downs is part of it all. Like I can be ok and then a scent, or an object, place, memory takes me back in a matter of seconds. The lengths of sadness are getting shorter but I didn't know if was a normal process of the healing process to flucuate sometimes like 5 times a day.

It definitely is part of it all. At first I thought I was bipolar but my mood changes are sporadic and don't follow cycles. I can be happy and content then (as you describe which is what's called a trigger) something can trigger me and I'll go into a rage or an overwhelming depression...

I think emotional instability is a trait of having BPD rather than the healing process..although the healing process itself can have some emotional curveballs as well...it's hard to say . But yes, I experience this regularly. (it is getting better with DBT --dialectical behavioral therapy)
www.dbtselfhelp.com

[tohelpafriend]

"The Borderline craves love, but cannot trust it. BPD loving is inextricably entwined with loss--so closeness prompts deeply-held anxiety that devastating abandonment pain will surely follow".

(www.gettinbetter.com)

[irishclover]

Originally Posted by tohelpafriend

"The Borderline craves love, but cannot trust it. BPD loving is inextricably entwined with loss--so closeness prompts deeply-held anxiety that devastating abandonment pain will surely follow".

(www.gettinbetter.com)

THAT IS ME!! wow