[sweetsurrender]

I am so out of control with the things I do sometimes. And as hard as I try lately I cannot control some of the things I do. Like sending stupid text messages that seem rational and logical to me at the time but are not and end up creating more drama and chaos for myself. Wtf is wrong with me. Why I am I like this and why can't I feel better. I just feel so much hurt and pain inside. I try to get over it and not think about it but it is in me and some days completely over takes me. I hate who I am. And the worst part: I can't change it.
I feel like lately my mind is getting worse and I can't stop it. Some days I don't know who I am at all.

Originally Posted by sweetsurrender

I am so out of control with the things I do sometimes. And as hard as I try lately I cannot control some of the things I do. Like sending stupid text messages that seem rational and logical to me at the time but are not and end up creating more drama and chaos for myself. Wtf is wrong with me. Why I am I like this and why can't I feel better. I just feel so much hurt and pain inside. I try to get over it and not think about it but it is in me and some days completely over takes me. I hate who I am. And the worst part: I can't change it.
I feel like lately my mind is getting worse and I can't stop it. Some days I don't know who I am at all.

If you are not already involved in such, get involved in DBT. It is the one known thing to help BPD. Yahoo has a free class, you can get lots of info and stuff at www.dbtselfhelp.com, and there's a chat here on Saturday mornings. It is not easy and takes a LOT of work, but it does help if given the proper chance. Good luck and welcome to PC.