Ok so it's like 3:30 in the morning. I have to be up in 3 hours and I'm wide awake. I'm thinking about too many things and I can't stop, so I thought I'd post here and see if I can get myself to slow down. I'm not really panicked or freaking out, just can't stop thinking. And it's not all bad stuff but that's the crazy part.

Good things are happening finally for me and changing. But that's the thing. Even as bad as it has been, walking 3 miles some days just to make sure I get to work, in the rain, cold sometimes... etc. Scraping enough cash together to get food for me and the boys. Now I'm working, tomorrow I'm picking up the car that I bought for a really good price because people here have been really helpful to me. Seems like I should be ecstatic huh?

Well part of me just wants to be happy and enjoy life as it has calmed down for me but the other part of me is feeling a little off because of the change that is coming to my routine. I'll be driving again, to work... able to continue to work, not have to be gone 3 extra hours a day away from my kids because of buses but I've gotten so used to it the way it has been.. so now I'm trying to settle but it feels so unknown and like I'm in limbo.

I'm so worried about it not lasting and something bad is around the corner. I'm worried with all this good stuff happening that I'm going to go crazy and f*k it up somehow. you know?

Anyway thanks for listening.

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

Ok so it's like 3:30 in the morning. I have to be up in 3 hours and I'm wide awake. I'm thinking about too many things and I can't stop, so I thought I'd post here and see if I can get myself to slow down. I'm not really panicked or freaking out, just can't stop thinking. And it's not all bad stuff but that's the crazy part.

Good things are happening finally for me and changing. But that's the thing. Even as bad as it has been, walking 3 miles some days just to make sure I get to work, in the rain, cold sometimes... etc. Scraping enough cash together to get food for me and the boys. Now I'm working, tomorrow I'm picking up the car that I bought for a really good price because people here have been really helpful to me. Seems like I should be ecstatic huh?

Well part of me just wants to be happy and enjoy life as it has calmed down for me but the other part of me is feeling a little off because of the change that is coming to my routine. I'll be driving again, to work... able to continue to work, not have to be gone 3 extra hours a day away from my kids because of buses but I've gotten so used to it the way it has been.. so now I'm trying to settle but it feels so unknown and like I'm in limbo.

I'm so worried about it not lasting and something bad is around the corner. I'm worried with all this good stuff happening that I'm going to go crazy and f*k it up somehow. you know?

Anyway thanks for listening.

I understand your worry, and the staying up all night . I'm right there with you. At least we can all stay up together.

Originally Posted by Maranara

I understand your worry, and the staying up all night . I'm right there with you. At least we can all stay up together.

yep. thanks Mara!