[fletch33]

I had a horrible Thanksgiving evening. I visited with my grandmother, father, and uncle at my grandmother's house. My father spent a large majority of the evening either being inappropriate or putting me down. My father, who weighs almost 300 lbs, told me that he could tell I've gained weight. He also told me that my hair looked stringy, to which I responded that I haven't had the money to get my hair done due to unemployment. He made fun of my grandmother's cooking. Note: she is 90 years old. I am proud that she can do stuff by herself at all anymore. He poked fun at my uncle, who is going through a divorce currently. I am just so tired of my father acting the way he does. You would think by the time that he is 55 years old, he would have grown up a little. He has done nothing my whole life but make fun of me and put me down. I am so tired of this. I just want to ignore him for the rest of my life.

[ruby.lestrange]

I'm so sorry to hear that your day was awful, and that you're going through this. Just wanted to offer a hug



p.s. I think it's kind that you are proud of your grandma. It says much about you that you are hurt by the way that your father treats others. You said you wanted to ignore your father: is stepping away from the situation something you have considered?

[MDDBPDPTSD]

I think it might be a good thing to ignore your father, if you can figure out a way to do that without cutting off the rest of the family. Of course, I do not know all the factors involved, but he sounds really negative and destructive, which can only harm you and those around him.
Just my opinion.

[fletch33]

Originally Posted by ruby.lestrange

I'm so sorry to hear that your day was awful, and that you're going through this. Just wanted to offer a hug



p.s. I think it's kind that you are proud of your grandma. It says much about you that you are hurt by the way that your father treats others. You said you wanted to ignore your father: is stepping away from the situation something you have considered?

What do you mean by stepping away from the situation?

[ruby.lestrange]

Well, ignoring him, maybe? Or only allowing yourself contact with him when it's absolutely necessary? It sounds as though the situation was particularly upsetting for you, and caused you a great deal of stress and unhappiness after the fact. You deserve to have people around you that make you feel good; if your father doesn't, is it possible for you to avoid him? (I don't know what your circumstances are, how much your family gets together, what your living situation is, etc. - you don't have to say if you don't want to, I just wasn't sure if you had the option to ignore him).

I will say this, I understand your situation. And in response to what people are saying about ignoring your father, I have to say I also know that it's very difficult to do. I grew up with a brother that did nothing but poke fun at people for kicks. I was the butt of his jokes for years with his friends as the audience and even with the family everything out of his mouth was a sarcastic poke at one of the family. it's not easy to just ignore, they tend to be the loudest and most noticeable ones in the crowd, these toxic people. If you dont' live with him, I'd say just stay away unless you have to deal with him and if you do, prepare yourself somehow, knowing what to expect. I'm sorry I can't offer more than my understanding and that tiny bit of advice but I feel for you. *hugs*