[BlueMajo]

Hello all,

Im new to these forums, however, I have been in "neurotalk" for around 4 years already and consider the people there my family and my only true friends... Im sure the same will happen here...

So, I have suffer of "mood swings" since, since I have memory... and in the last years, I have been suffering of depression too... Originally was treated for just depression, then doc thought I could be bipolar II, but now, he decided to treat me as a borderline personality disorder patient.... I agreed because after hours of explanation about the disorder, I could clear see myself in everything he and the therapist were saying....

Im feeling so lost these days... like, basically I feel like I have lived my life wrong all this 30 years.... hurting myself for loving or hating, without a feeling in the middle.... and hurting the people near me because of my explosive manners...

Im dealing with a huge problem in my head right now: I used to think people was mean, rude, careless.... but after being diagnosed, I feel worried because I think that maybe, people was mean to mean because I was mean first...

It is hard for people to understand me, and to understand Im sick... so, I think many of them will never forgive me, or will never change their attitude towards me....

I feel bad.....

Forgive my english, Im from Mexico.

Much love and hugs to everyone,
Majo.

Welcome to PC!

You're not alone in all of that, everything you've said is the same as so many people here including myself. I'm sure you'll find many people here to support you and help you with this condition.

First steps to getting better is being aware of the diagnosis itself. it has done so much for me even just to know what causes some of my feelings, behaviors and patterns of thinking.

Good luck and again, Welcome!

[greyclouds]

Welcome to pc ((hugs))

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Welcome to PC.

I am also a person with bpd (pwbpd).

In the beginning, it was extremely difficult to live with myself after being diagnosed and dealing with the ramifications (consequences) of it.

I learned in my recovery that I am not a bad person, just any struggling human being.

I found it comforting, too, to know that pwbpd's do have consciences; we are not to be confused with narcissists. (my learning experience, anyway).

pwbpd's are not evil.

Welcome. You are okay.

Glad you found us; this group is so good for me too.

Carol

[shezbut]

Hello Blue Majo!

I used to regularly visit neurotalk, a few years ago. As my TBI symptoms became pretty "fixed", my emotional problems took the front seat in my life. Several diagnoses came up since then, as I had repressed memories and intense emotions for many years. After my TBI, I was no longer able to repress my emotions & memories.

Blowing up became a huge issue for me! I still struggle, but I'm slowly gaining a better perspective on why this is. Gentle hugs to you ~ take care!

[BlueMajo]

Thank you all for your words and support.

It feels great to find a place where people "get it" you know... That is a big problem I have, that people around me simply dont understand me, dont like me, and that's it.....

Im really struggling with a situation right now... like I offended someone saying things I obviously didnt mean it but, oh well... I think I lost him forever and it is really hard for me now to understand how this disorder has been interfering with my personal relations all these years