[greyclouds]

Last night I wrote that I didn't care if I didn't wake.
I didn't want to die. But I just didn't care any more.
But I do care.

Last night I was waking up, knowing that I needed to get away from someone in my life. (His my trigger)
This morning I followed through with ending our affair.
Baring in mind I have only been awake 2 hours.
The pain I felt was gut tearing, it felt like my insides were being ripped out.
I love this man every much, but he is not good for me. And he will never be mine.
Since this heartache which was only an hour an half ago.
I now feel good. I feel free. I even have my witty charm back after speaking to my friend.

This is all just so crazy, I've known his been my trigger for a long time. But I kept going back. A case of maybe I liked the pain!!

But I'm not going back this time I'm going to be strong.
I want to be happy., and if I ever want to get better then I have done the right thing.

This is all kind of for my own benefit just needed to write it down so I could make sense of it all.
It still don't but it will, one day

[Iamhealingme]

Good for you! Sometimes we go back and forth and while it's not good for us, you are normal. Stay strong, better things are ahead for you...wishing you continued strength.

[AngelWolf3]

Oh I am so glad that you worked this out. Good for you for finding your strength.

good for you.

yay..

Woop! I'm so glad for you. Getting away from the dysfunctional relationships are the hardest because we do become codependent on the SO whether they are bad for us or not. I'm lucky, my SO left me, and I'm better for it because I may have never been able to leave, on my own. So I applaud you! *many hugs*