[cali818]

I need to end things with my boyfriend. I love him like crazy but the combination of him being too busy and not giving me enough time and attention and me with my bpd issues is just no good for me.

I have tried to end things before a few months ago but I found myself in so much pain from the moment I woke up to when I went to sleep, just missing him and obsessing about him and we got back together cause he was a wreck too and said he'd try to make more of an effort. Well, it's been almost two months and he's slipped back into his old ways with being too busy and I can't handle this again. it's driving me insane with anxiety every night.

I try to make excuses that I'm strong enough to deal with it and it's worth it to be with him but I can't, he is the biggest cause of my freak outs, I'd be better off without him but I am too scared and insecure to break up with him for real this time.

Any tips on how I can go about it? How can I deal with this? I'm sick of writing him long texts or emails telling him how I feel and he never changes. But how the hell do I end things and not let it ruin me? If he lets me go it means he doesn't love me, but if he doesn't it means he doesn't love me enough to stay with me and make the effort to make me happy. We just don't work together anymore and I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I can't be happy without him but he doesn't make me happy anymore cause he fails every test I put to him to prove he truly loves me except for when I break up with him then he acts good again for a little while which keeps me coming back for more bullsh*t.

[radioactivegirl]

I think you should find something to distract yourself. I know it's incredibly hard, and I've been there a few times already, but it's the only thing I've found that helped besides antidepressants. Getting a new hobby and new friends expanded my universe and allowed me to break away from my boyfriend who was really not worth it anyway. That's the best advice I can give you, and my heart reaches out to you because I know how painful it can be for us with bpd.

[greyclouds]

Originally Posted by radioactivegirl

I think you should find something to distract yourself. I know it's incredibly hard, and I've been there a few times already, but it's the only thing I've found that helped besides antidepressants. Getting a new hobby and new friends expanded my universe and allowed me to break away from my boyfriend who was really not worth it anyway. That's the best advice I can give you, and my heart reaches out to you because I know how painful it can be for us with bpd.

I totally agree with you and this exactly what you need.
I've not even replied to ex since I e been distracted.

Last month I was in exactly the same boat.
I found it easier to find a distraction 1st then, I could see the relationship I was ending a lot easier.