I've vaguely mentioned feeling used and "spent", exhausted and tired of things with other people, feeling like withdrawing etc..

Well I have figured out that it's not everyone, it's just a few relationships which have left me feeling this way.

i met someone months back and for reasons that she had - she had a bf and had a few complaints but nothing major. Well we became friends and as usual, I was the ear for her to vent to, I was the one she leaned on from time to time for support. Of course you know I'm always happy to oblige. I'm just not discerning enough as to who I get caught up with. So as I said she's got a boyfriend and so I set feelings aside and treated it as a friendship. Honestly I liked her. I did from the beginning but I didn't do anything about it and it was fine. After awhile she dropped off the grid and I didnt' hear from her for the longest time, she got rid of her pc profile and just disappeared. From time to time I would think of her, remember her and miss her a bit but nothing major.

She came back to pc from the sister site, under a new name. she whispers to me "hey its me ____ I came because I saw you online " Because I had been off pc for a few weeks or a couple months too. Anyway long story short, she was like "I missed you" etc etc.. It became a little flirtatious or at least it felt that way. She asked me to Skype so we could talk via video chat. I don't do skype, typically and it was actually the first time I'd video chatted with anyone other than my ex so she could see her kids. So she gets on and I'm floored because I really think she's a very attractive woman and anyway i told her so. So now she knows my attraction but it comes down to she has a bf. Nothing i can do about that.

Here's the thing. She complained about her bf a lot. He ignores her for days at a time even though she knows he's online, among other things, he's just not there. Ok fine, but he's still her bf right? I try to ask why she even bothers with him and I get the old addage well "he may be dealing with this or that... blah blah" ok that's fine too... Then soon after she bombards me with pictures of herself (clean ones, portraits) to me, clearly wanting to feed the fact that I'm attracted to her (correct me if I'm wrong but that's how I see it)... anyway... this is getting long.

Over time, I've come to find out she's a person that works for a kind of company that develops something and that she handles promoting the item. Well I also find out over time that she's very wrapped up in her work. She hits me up to help her with artwork. Oh I was all over that at first.. she loved my work etc. Then she hits me up for whether I want to do other work for her, an even asks me to come work for her.

I'm leaving a lot out but I can't take up all your time but in a nutshell i'm beginning to think that she uses me to get me to help her in various ways from supporting hr and listening to actually doing some other work like development. I didn't actually take her up on that.

Since that time she's mostly ignored me, and I'd tried to contact her from time to time on skype chat and I get a few words and then out of nowhere, she's gone. for hours. This has gone on for a couple of weeks I think and now the only time i get her on skype again, is when she wants soemthing... my opinion, advice etc.

I had to tell her last I talked to her, she wondered "what's up with you" because lately I've been off skype so as to avoid being tempted to contact her and then be ignored. It doesn't feel very good to have that done to you ... so I told her that I've distanced myself to avoid getting too attached. Oh and before thaat she had interrupted a game session I was having to tell me to "get on skype please, i need your opinion" and when I did this I logged back off skype. She got back on chat and said "get back on skype please, I need you again, I don't know what' up with you" and then i told her I ws busy playing a game and left it at that. when I was done playing I did go and try to chat with her and she basically got btchy with me again. "when you figure out what's up with you let me know." or something to that effect. i told her she was bossy and that I was actually playing a game and didn't wnat to be interrupted ... she says to me "enough ____" I was like "enough?" Like I was throwing a tantrum which I know, rare, but true, I wasn't. I ended up explaining I've distanced becuse I am avoiding getting attached, when i know it's a dead end (her having a bf). i told her if I get attached it will only lead to heartache. She never replied. I ended it with "I am assuming you got my reply but don't feel like responding. i'll leave you alone now." and signed off. She never emailed me, she never did anything after taht to contact me. So I figured it's done. I've cut off ties with her.

Even though she just left that last conversation to brush it under the rug... she sends me an fb invite to further promote her product with her. That last thing just really got to me. I couldn't believe it.

Anyway... did I do the right thing? I know I got attached to the wrong person.. of course.

*forgot to add that she blew up on me one time and basically hung up on me after making me feel stupid for not having a solution to a problem she had instantaneously... that's when I started to really distance too*

I know I'm rambling again...

It does sound like she's using you. She figured out that you're a nice guy who will bend over backwards for someone and is taking advantange of you and she's flattering your artwork as a means of getting what she wants. Yep...she's one I'd probably avoid, bf or not....

[Ultra Darkness]

That's bpd for you. First a person seems great, then they don't. She doesn't sound very nice though. Personally, I think you're better off without her.

Originally Posted by Ultra Darkness

That's bpd for you. First a person seems great, then they don't. She doesn't sound very nice though. Personally, I think you're better off without her.

Thanks but I think the bad side of her is real. I still dont' hate her, I just know better than to be in a situation where i'm going to be manipulated. She has problems of her own, so I won't judge her.

Originally Posted by Maranara

It does sound like she's using you. She figured out that you're a nice guy who will bend over backwards for someone and is taking advantange of you and she's flattering your artwork as a means of getting what she wants. Yep...she's one I'd probably avoid, bf or not....

Thanks Maranara. I knew it was probably for the best but I just needed to vent a little too.