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New Member
Member Since Feb 2013
Posts: 4
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Feb 28, 2013 at 01:53 AM
#1
My boyfriend loves me. I know so, he tells me all the time. He does nice things for me, I can tell he loves me. However, there's always that feeling of comparing myself to his friends that are girls, feeling like I am a last resort and like I am horrible and disgusting.
I go by each day having constant realizations that I am alive in that moment, it's a frightening feeling, and I don't know when it started. Being alive doesn't feel real. I always feel like I don't look like a real person, have intense body issues, and feel incapable of interacting with others. I saw a picture of him kissing another girl from 2 years ago. I flipped out and sent him a frightening amount of hateful text messages. I felt completely out of control. He told me if I didn't get help for my emotional issues he would not stick around. I was diagnosed with BPD 2 years ago, but have not received any treatment at all. (can't afford it.) I just hope people with similar issues can talk to me and share their experiences and offer support. Thank you! Maria 
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 AngelWolf3, Anonymous200104, greentires4me
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Grand Member
Member Since Feb 2012
Location: Some where
Posts: 851
12 2 hugs
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Feb 28, 2013 at 05:15 AM
#2
I can relate to your situation... Most defiantly.
But as for great advice I have none at the moment. Other then when you have these bad thoughts try to remember that he loves you. I hope the others have better advice for you ((Hugs)) |
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Pack of One
Member Since May 2012
Location: in the US!
Posts: 4,068
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Feb 28, 2013 at 01:39 PM
#3
Can totally relate as well. I wish I had some advice, but I am not in the adviciest (yes, a new word) place right now...
 I do know exactly what you are talking about though, and can definitely understand what you are feeling.
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