[Ultra Darkness]

Among wolves, staring directly at another wolf is a challenge, while keeping ones gaze averted is more polite.

When I'm talking to people, I tend not to look them in the eye. When I'm angry, however, I look them in the eye and brace my legs apart, which is something else wolves do.

Even if no one else thinks there's any instinct involved here, you've still had a science lesson, eh?

[greentires4me]

when I don't trust people I tend to stare at the top of their head barely looking into their eyes even though maybe I should be looking into their eyes in case they get shifty.

I have a really hard time looking people in the eye. I'm making an effort to do it more, but like greentires, I tend too look at the tops of peoples' heads.

[Ultra Darkness]

I tend to drop my gaze to their chests or shoulders. Sometimes I don't look at them at all. I kind of skim my gaze over them... again, like a wolf.

[greentires4me]

but with all this non looking at them going on do you think people think we are lying to them or not even sure what we are doing...

[Ultra Darkness]

Originally Posted by greentires4me

but with all this non looking at them going on do you think people think we are lying to them or not even sure what we are doing...

Personally, I think I like it better if people can't figure out what I'm thinking. Plus, it's just easier to talk to people when I'm not looking them. It's one of the reasons I like the dark. It feels safer.

[greentires4me]

if I could talk with my eyes closed I think it be easier all around to get what I am trying to say out there.

[Ultra Darkness]

I tend to fiddle with things while talking to people, so that I have an excuse to not look at them. A Rubix Cube or handheld game works great for this.

I've had people call me out on it. But most people aren't that bold; they just wonder about you and then go off and either think you're odd or talk behind your back.

Sorry, I don't have a lot of confidence in other people. It's something I need to work on.

[Ultra Darkness]

I trust no one except myself most days. Beware if I look you in the eyes!

[greentires4me]

my Alcohol counselor I look in her eyes but thats because she just allows me to be me no strings attached.

[avlady]

For some reason i look straight into persons eyes because i love the different colors of their eyes. sometimes the color is overwhelming

Originally Posted by Ultra Darkness

Among wolves, staring directly at another wolf is a challenge, while keeping ones gaze averted is more polite.

When I'm talking to people, I tend not to look them in the eye. When I'm angry, however, I look them in the eye and brace my legs apart, which is something else wolves do.

Even if no one else thinks there's any instinct involved here, you've still had a science lesson, eh?

This was very much me UD. I have had to practice a great deal looking a person in the eye while having a conversation.

I know that BPD is VERY closely tied with PTSD, and could be a complex manifestation of it. When we've experienced trauma our brains move into a very instinctual place. In Peter Levine's book 'In an Unspoken Voice: How the body releases trauma and restores goodness', there are many scientific references to how we react to anger, fear, anxiety and trauma:

" When we perceive (consciously or unconsciously) that we are in danger, specific defensive postures necessary to protect ourselves are mobilized in the body. (These are automatic and controlled by the sympathetic-adrenal component of the autonomic nervous system). The specific innate bodily responses are powerfully energized to meet extreme situations. These survival energies are organized in the brain and specifically expressed as patterned states of muscular tension in readiness for action."

Often referred to as 'fight or flight'. We enter an almost 'reptilian' brain. The structure in our brain that reacts to instinctual fear or anger is the brain stem and it is VERY basic. All animals react the same way. It would make sense that your legs go apart and you direct your eyes at the 'predator' to prepare for fight.

Do many people here have trouble with eye contact?

[greentires4me]

since I was little I always have problems looking into peoples eyes thats at least what my mom tells me...and I notice it as I am older I look people less in their eyes then anything else I wanna pay attention to something else.

when talking to strangers, i stare them down. have always seen looking into one's eyes as a sign of strength, and i don't like strangers thinking i'm weak so they can take advantage of me.

at least when i was younger, according to other people, i was a pretty formidable person. i miss it, haha, because although i still have the glare down, i don't have the spirit behind it so much.

working on getting that back. it's still there, shows up on good days and when i'm prepared to deal with people.

now, with people i know personally, it's a different story. i'll look them in the eye while they're talking, but when i'm talking i find something else to be focused on, and i don't look into their eyes if they're looking at me. though i guess that's silly, how can i be looking them in the eye when they aren't even looking at me? blaaah whatever.

[greentires4me]

Originally Posted by DreamAddiction37

when talking to strangers, i stare them down. have always seen looking into one's eyes as a sign of strength, and i don't like strangers thinking i'm weak so they can take advantage of me....

I do that too stare directly into strangers eyes...

[Ultra Darkness]

I can look at people I know, but strangers make me nervous. I watch them, but don't want to broadcast the fact.