[MissLadyRed]

Hi everyone. This is my first thread I've posted since joining recently and for some reason I'm nervous. I'm worried people will judge me and and reject me, which I know deep down is ridiculous as this is not the place for rejection or judgement, I guess I just worried about doing the the wrong or offending people etc. I'm even worrying about the posts I make on other threads and start thinking ,'am I saying too much' , 'should I not be writing this' etc. These are the type of feelings I struggle with everyday too. Constantly worried about every action, word, response, everything I say or do.

Anyway today I am home and my partner and I were meant to go to the beach but I woke up feeling awful. Just out of no where I completely hated myself and everything about me and just wanted to crawl into a ball and not leave the house. I'll always think my partner deserves so much better than me. He is the most amazing person I've ever met and I don't think i'll ever feel relaxed that he wont leave me.

You seem like a really nice person and I'm glad you're here. I understand being afraid of rejection, though.

[MissLadyRed]

Originally Posted by nevergoodenough

You seem like a really nice person and I'm glad you're here. I understand being afraid of rejection, though.

Thanks nevergoodenough! Kind of you to say. I'm worried I'm blabbing on too much in posts too. I guess I always feel so much so always have so much to write.

Originally Posted by MissLadyRed

Thanks nevergoodenough! Kind of you to say. I'm worried I'm blabbing on too much in posts too. I guess I always feel so much so always have so much to write.

You aren't blabbing on too much at all. I think it's good to write a lot if that's what it takes to get your feelings across. I like reading long posts, anyway.

I always worry that I'm babbling too much. I also just started posting my own threads and I constantly worry that people are judging me or are like, "WHY is she posting again?" but...I have no one else to talk to right now so...this is it. I guess I just have to deal with the worry.

I don't think you're babbling. I like your posts. And I agree with nevergoodenough, you seem like a really nice person.

[greyclouds]

Welcome

[shezbut]

(((MissLadyRed)))

First, I'm very sorry that you're fighting feelings of low self-worth. Ugh! Been there and done that a million times myself. Never any fun! I am in DBT, working through my many issues and self-hate is a big problem for me. A lot of problems seem to dwell around that concept for me personally. Hopefully, you also have times of high self-worth.

If that's the case, it would be relatively easy to figure out what the trigger of today's low self-worth is and what you need to do to avoid becoming low again. Perhaps you did something that you aren't real proud of? Or maybe you need to apologize to someone to relieve your feelings inside. Some things for you to think about.

Oh yeah! I just had to remark about your feelings of fear and worry about posts, fearing rejection or slams by others. I've been a member here for 4 years. Time flies by quickly as you get older, trustme Even still, whether I'm posting in response or as the initial Q /statement, I worry. Pathetic, I know! I worry that nobody cares; that I'm talking too much; that I'm not getting my point across; etc.

I wouldn't call your post blabbing on and on at all! Mine on the other hand....

[MissLadyRed]

Originally Posted by misskeena

I always worry that I'm babbling too much. I also just started posting my own threads and I constantly worry that people are judging me or are like, "WHY is she posting again?" but...I have no one else to talk to right now so...this is it. I guess I just have to deal with the worry.

I don't think you're babbling. I like your posts. And I agree with nevergoodenough, you seem like a really nice person.

Thanks Miss! Made me feel a whole heap better knowing you think and feel the same. I guess thats something I have to work on anyway, not letting that fear constantly nag in the back of my head. Thanks for your kind words.

[MissLadyRed]

Originally Posted by shezbut

(((MissLadyRed)))

First, I'm very sorry that you're fighting feelings of low self-worth. Ugh! Been there and done that a million times myself. Never any fun! I am in DBT, working through my many issues and self-hate is a big problem for me. A lot of problems seem to dwell around that concept for me personally. Hopefully, you also have times of high self-worth.

If that's the case, it would be relatively easy to figure out what the trigger of today's low self-worth is and what you need to do to avoid becoming low again. Perhaps you did something that you aren't real proud of? Or maybe you need to apologize to someone to relieve your feelings inside. Some things for you to think about.

Oh yeah! I just had to remark about your feelings of fear and worry about posts, fearing rejection or slams by others. I've been a member here for 4 years. Time flies by quickly as you get older, trustme Even still, whether I'm posting in response or as the initial Q /statement, I worry. Pathetic, I know! I worry that nobody cares; that I'm talking too much; that I'm not getting my point across; etc.

I wouldn't call your post blabbing on and on at all! Mine on the other hand....

Thanks for your reply Shez! Nice to meet you. How is DBT going for you? My therapist has highly recommended and suggested it to me.

Glad to know others also worry about posts and have the same fears. I can be quite the blabber so i worry, but then again I worry about everything! Im really worried about the no caring part and that ill take something so personally one day. Anyway being a member for four years is amazing and this obviously is a great place to stick around. Thanks again Shez.

[BorderlineMess]

Originally Posted by MissLadyRed

Hi everyone. This is my first thread I've posted since joining recently and for some reason I'm nervous. I'm worried people will judge me and and reject me, which I know deep down is ridiculous as this is not the place for rejection or judgement, I guess I just worried about doing the the wrong or offending people etc. I'm even worrying about the posts I make on other threads and start thinking ,'am I saying too much' , 'should I not be writing this' etc. These are the type of feelings I struggle with everyday too. Constantly worried about every action, word, response, everything I say or do.

Anyway today I am home and my partner and I were meant to go to the beach but I woke up feeling awful. Just out of no where I completely hated myself and everything about me and just wanted to crawl into a ball and not leave the house. I'll always think my partner deserves so much better than me. He is the most amazing person I've ever met and I don't think i'll ever feel relaxed that he wont leave me.

I feel that way about posting on this forum all the time. If I didn't feel this way, I'd be posting a lot more. I worry about what I'm saying, if I'm saying it right, will the person understand what I mean, etc, etc, etc. So I understand. I wish we didn't feel this way, but I don't know how to change it.

I also don't have anyone else in my life with whom I can share these thoughts and feelings. So this is my only outlet.

Feel free to post on here as much as you want. We're here for each other. You seem like a really nice, really thoughtful person. Sending you lots of warm thoughts and hugs. Take care.

Keep talking missladyred,

We will always listen and hear you. We also understand how debilitating this illness is and all the challenges that come with it.

(((hugs))) Keep posting, threading and writing as much as you want. It is crucial for recovery

[MissLadyRed]

Originally Posted by BorderlineMess

I feel that way about posting on this forum all the time. If I didn't feel this way, I'd be posting a lot more. I worry about what I'm saying, if I'm saying it right, will the person understand what I mean, etc, etc, etc. So I understand. I wish we didn't feel this way, but I don't know how to change it.

I also don't have anyone else in my life with whom I can share these thoughts and feelings. So this is my only outlet.

Feel free to post on here as much as you want. We're here for each other. You seem like a really nice, really thoughtful person. Sending you lots of warm thoughts and hugs. Take care.

Thanks BoderlineMess. So glad to hear others feel this way. I don't really have anyone to share with either as they don't understand or I feel a burden to them. My partner is pretty good at listening and understanding but I worry as it's all put on him and that isn't fair to do that.

Thanks for the hugs and warm thoughts. You too seem like a sweetheart. I feel much better about posting now.

[MissLadyRed]

Originally Posted by stratocaster

Keep talking missladyred,

We will always listen and hear you. We also understand how debilitating this illness is and all the challenges that come with it.

(((hugs))) Keep posting, threading and writing as much as you want. It is crucial for recovery

Thanks Stratocaster and nice to meet you. Gosh everyone is so wonderful and supportive here! I wish the general members of society were all as understanding and supportive. :/ I am feeling much better about posting now and it's nice to know people are around to listen and give words of advice or empathy. Likewise I am too. I've never considered myself to be much of anything or anyone BUT I've always known I'm a great listener and very understanding and supportive, for anyone, anytime.

Hope you're having a good day.