[Luctor]

Has anyone here actually fully recovered from BPD? I know you read all over the place about "recovered BPD" and "former BPD sufferer", but, after 31 years, 20 of which I have been in the psychiatric system, and 4 of which have been in intense therapy, my symptoms have only moderately improved, if at all.

I'm starting to feel hopeless. I just ruined my most recent relationship because of this ******* disorder. Sure, I was only recently diagnosed with BPD (after a lifetime of incorrect diagnoses and medications) and have been doing CBT for about 6 months.

Does it get better? Does the incessant sadness, pain and loneliness ever go away? Does the struggle cease?

I just want to live my life. Like a normal person.

[Trippin2.0]

I bloodywell hope so! There is only so much bpd ******** my bf (and I) can deal with and I fear this is my "last chance" so to speak, even though he hasn't said so... its thee ONLY relationship trouble we've ever had and it sucks baboon balls.

I wanted to try cbt solo (no therapist) but I decided to "educationally wing it" for now because I think I should do it with a T or risk feeling like an idiotic, pathetic, angry failure when I "get it all wrong" again...

I do hope it gets better, awareness helps some days, but others...

[chuckelzchriss]

I can relate I hope it does I read Ann article on Stanford site that said it won't and the people shouldn't get close to us because we are a black hole of pain so I'm really freaking scared of this I can't keep handling it

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I really would like to think that it does. I am not sure it does. BPD is hard to recover from and to treat.

But I am not giving up. I am not going to let it win.

I do get frustrated and scared that it will never go away.

thanks,

Carol

[anneo59]

Originally Posted by Luctor

Has anyone here actually fully recovered from BPD? I know you read all over the place about "recovered BPD" and "former BPD sufferer", but, after 31 years, 20 of which I have been in the psychiatric system, and 4 of which have been in intense therapy, my symptoms have only moderately improved, if at all.

I'm starting to feel hopeless. I just ruined my most recent relationship because of this ******* disorder. Sure, I was only recently diagnosed with BPD (after a lifetime of incorrect diagnoses and medications) and have been doing CBT for about 6 months.

Does it get better? Does the incessant sadness, pain and loneliness ever go away? Does the struggle cease?

I just want to live my life. Like a normal person.

It certainly can, you can learn ways to cope and still enjoy your life. Although you have your illness and ought to manage it for optimum living, it doesn't define you!!!!! Never forget that! Take care!

[anneo59]

Originally Posted by Luctor

Has anyone here actually fully recovered from BPD? I know you read all over the place about "recovered BPD" and "former BPD sufferer", but, after 31 years, 20 of which I have been in the psychiatric system, and 4 of which have been in intense therapy, my symptoms have only moderately improved, if at all.

I'm starting to feel hopeless. I just ruined my most recent relationship because of this ******* disorder. Sure, I was only recently diagnosed with BPD (after a lifetime of incorrect diagnoses and medications) and have been doing CBT for about 6 months.

Does it get better? Does the incessant sadness, pain and loneliness ever go away? Does the struggle cease?

I just want to live my life. Like a normal person.

Setbacks do happen, but then it's good to try to pick up pieces when u can, and where there are any, and definitely move forward. From one who knows and wishes you the best!

[beautifulfreak]

Originally Posted by Luctor

Has anyone here actually fully recovered from BPD? I know you read all over the place about "recovered BPD" and "former BPD sufferer", but, after 31 years, 20 of which I have been in the psychiatric system, and 4 of which have been in intense therapy, my symptoms have only moderately improved, if at all.

I'm starting to feel hopeless. I just ruined my most recent relationship because of this ******* disorder. Sure, I was only recently diagnosed with BPD (after a lifetime of incorrect diagnoses and medications) and have been doing CBT for about 6 months.

Does it get better? Does the incessant sadness, pain and loneliness ever go away? Does the struggle cease?

I just want to live my life. Like a normal person.

Like you, I have spent over 20yrs in the Psych System too. I empathise with you over the loss of your relationship, it's happening to me now in my own relationship. It is heart-Breaking. And I have lost countless friendships. So, I understand how you must be feeling.

I think things do improve for some people, for me, things have not. However, other posters here offer you some hope. So, that is good.

I am surprised it is CBT you are doing after being diagnosed with BPD. Is it helping? When I was diagnosed I was sent straight to DBT. However, I have been considered a non-responder, so to speak. So, SFT is another therapy option that has proved promising for those stuffing with this disorder. But hopefully the CBT is helping you.

Best wishes.

[Luctor]

Originally Posted by beautifulfreak

Like you, I have spent over 20yrs in the Psych System too. I empathise with you over the loss of your relationship, it's happening to me now in my own relationship. It is heart-Breaking. And I have lost countless friendships. So, I understand how you must be feeling.

I think things do improve for some people, for me, things have not. However, other posters here offer you some hope. So, that is good.

I am surprised it is CBT you are doing after being diagnosed with BPD. Is it helping? When I was diagnosed I was sent straight to DBT. However, I have been considered a non-responder, so to speak. So, SFT is another therapy option that has proved promising for those stuffing with this disorder. But hopefully the CBT is helping you.

Best wishes.

My heart goes out to you during your relationship difficulties. It truly is the hardest thing to deal with as a BPD. The sense of abandonment, loss and inevitable loneliness. I'm here if you're looking for someone to share stories with.

Sorry, that was a typo, I'm not doing CBT I'm doing DBT. My bad. I'm not doing the actual, official DBT course, per say. My therapist of 4 years is going through the coursework with me. I've made some improvements with plain old talk therapy, but I guess having just lost a relationship because of my BPD, I'm feeling a little disheartened. I just have to keep reminding myself that it takes a while for DBT to have noticeable effects, even as much as 2 years.

I also have to not let myself be overwhelmed by hopelessness just because I haven't grasped this immediately. Although, it is helping somewhat with the distressing period I'm going through. But I'm surrounded by triggers; everything reminds me of her. Even breathing exercises. I taught her how to cope with anxiety by breathing, now when I breathe to relax, I find my thoughts flooded with memories of her.

Anyway, I'm still waiting for DBT to show marked improvements. But I'm hopeful.

I've seen mention of SFT before. What exactly is it? How are you finding it?

I think it gets better, but I do believe that a correct diagnosis is very important to that process. How can you fight a foe you can't even name, right? I also have been in the system for over 20 years (and have lost countless relationships) but have only been treating my BPD for less than 6 months. I have spent over 10 years in CBT and I have to say that my therapists have told me that CBT is not the most effective therapy for BPD, DBT is. I can't afford to be in the intensive DBT therapy (meaning I can't meet weekly in the group plus meet weekly with my DBT therapist), but I do therapy with a DBT therapist plus do the skills on my own and I find them helpful.

I'm not recovered, but the DBT skills are tools that I never knew existed until recently and they are extremely helpful to me in understanding how to moderate the symptoms of my disorder.

Anyway. It does get better. I wish you the best of luck.

[porcelainchild]

Hugs..

I hope that people can recover, i was diagnosed with BPD when i was 15years old, i am now 22 years old..

I did DBT and it helped me cope with the crisis feelings but i still have problems now, i hope you feel better soon..

Claire..

I don't know. For some people.

[The_little_didgee]

Originally Posted by misskeena

I think it gets better, but I do believe that a correct diagnosis is very important to that process. How can you fight a foe you can't even name, right?

The right diagnosis can profoundly change treatment. At least, that is what it was like for me.

Learning about your condition can be very helpful. I found it very comforting to read about others who have went through similar experiences. It can also help with self understanding and emotional growth.

There is hope.

[TheRealFDeal]

I only found out I had BPD about 4 years ago, and that was by accident. I found the diagnosis code on some disability paperwork that my T had completed for me, and I googled it. Then I contacted the T I saw in my 20s, and she confirmed that she had diagnosed me with BPD as well. I was with her for over 8 years, and she never mentioned it. And why did second T not mention it as well? I brought it up with him, but mode of t was never focused specifically at BPD.

I have not had much success, but I can't find anyone in my area who specializes in BPD. I spent 2-1/2 weeks at McLean in Boston learning DBT, but it didn't stick because I didn't continue to practice it. Also had no DBT support here to help reinforce it.

[Luctor]

Thanks for all the responses. I empathise with the struggle some of you are experiencing.

Even though right now I am going through a pretty traumatic break up, I know I will get better. I have already, up until this point, made noticeable progress in absence of DBT. I know I will improve to the point that one day, I will be able to love someone without destroying them. Myself included.

[Fuzzybear]

Good post... Especially the last sentence!

Originally Posted by Luctor

Thanks for all the responses. I empathise with the struggle some of you are experiencing.

Even though right now I am going through a pretty traumatic break up, I know I will get better. I have already, up until this point, made noticeable progress in absence of DBT. I know I will improve to the point that one day, I will be able to love someone without destroying them. Myself included.

I don't think there is such a thing as a full recovery from BPD. After all it's not an affliction but a set of behavioral and personality traits that people have and it's not like any of those people are really "sick" per se.

I think it's a matter of learning to cope with life better, handle and control your emotions and behaviors and find joy in life but that, even for the person without bpd, is fleeting.

I think a huge part of being bpd and finding a place where you're feeling like your doing well is accepting that it's a lifelong process. Not unlike everyone else without bpd we have to learn to cope and handle life better but our set of challenges happen to be more difficult to deal with. Still though, don't look for a cure, there really isn't one.

I'm not trying to be discouraging, the truth is you can get better, but accepting that even doing better is not a static thing and we all will always falter and go backwards and forwards in life