[salsharia]

Help. How do you deal with being ignored!!!! This is by someone I care very much for and that I thought cared very much for me. I feel like I have messed everything up and I always will and I am slipping. I hate everything and I don't know what I am doing here in general. I just want normal love and to have a normal relationship but I never will... I want some one that will understand me. My insides are burning. I hate feeling this sad and all that was required was a simple reply.

I can't really give you any advice (this is one of those sensitive subjs that kinda get to me). As hard as it is, it's important to attempt to give them space and give them the chance to show they care. You can't beg someone to notice you or love you. It doesn't work that way, and what we look upon as ignoring they may look at as "I had other things to do" or "I've been busy". If they truely care, they will not leave for good and will return. If you bother them too much, they may decide you're too needy or clingy and leave for good.

I understand.....extremely well. When I was growing up, my mom punished me by ignoring me. Totally, you don't exist, I won't acknowledge your presence by looking in your direction, you are part of the furniture, I'll talk about you like you're dead if at all type of ignore. It is one of the most painful things I ever had to endure and I have a very, very hard time dealing with being ignored to this day.

I feel like I'm getting better here and there on this issue with certain people I trust. It's not easy and I know that they won't always be at my beck and call, but are there when the pieces are down or when I really need them, and that's what matters.

[salsharia]

Maranara, I am sorry to hear you had to endure being ignored as punishment. I couldn't imagine how that must have felt as a child.

You are right, you can't beg some one to love you and people can't always be there for you when you need them but it is true, when you really need them. They are there.

*regretting the last 5 text messages I sent as I have probably crossed that line and have entered crazy zone from being too needy*

It is just that when being ignored it always feels like that person is intentionally trying to hurt me. The pain is so great, it is torture and I can't stop thinking; "why would they do this to me." I just wanted him to end it for me, I cried for 3 hours straight over this. I hate myself. I always take it as a personal attack. Except he is so selfless that he would never hurt any one which makes it worse because then I still think; "so why would he try to hurt me then" - even though I know better.

I have to remember that people have their own things to deal with and not hold them responsible for making me feel a certain way. I am responsible for how I respond to a situation.

It hurts, I know... I've been ignored by someone for a month and I know I just keep making things worse by continuing to text but it just hurts so much and I want it to stop.

Being ignored is always a painful thing for us. Intensely so. The thing I wonder though, as you didn't really elaborate on this point... what is the whole situation? The first thing that comes to mind for me, based on my own reactions and interpretations of others' behaviors, is whether or not they are truly ignoring you or if your emotions and insecurity has made you assume the worst, as many of us bpd do. What exactly happened and are you sure it's that you're being ignored?

[Fuzzybear]

[salsharia]

You are exactly right. It was my emotions and insecurities that got the best of me. There was a problem with the service and so text messages were not coming through. He wan't ignoring me, he just wasn't getting any messages. Amazing how yesterday it was the end of the world and today, knowing what happened everything is ok again, yet I didn't believe things would ever be ok again last night.

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

Being ignored is always a painful thing for us. Intensely so. The thing I wonder though, as you didn't really elaborate on this point... what is the whole situation? The first thing that comes to mind for me, based on my own reactions and interpretations of others' behaviors, is whether or not they are truly ignoring you or if your emotions and insecurity has made you assume the worst, as many of us bpd do. What exactly happened and are you sure it's that you're being ignored?

[salsharia]

It would almost have been a good thing for us if cell phones and text messaging was not invented. What would people like us have done before the internet? Mail an insistent amount of letters?.. or just yell their name really loud.

I was trying to make you laugh but truly I am very sorry you are on the ignore. It really is a viscous cycle getting into texting, hoping for a response and then not getting the result and then trying again and again and again and hurting more and more each time. I feel for you. Remember, you are a good person.

I would be interested in learning the skills to with hold from putting oneself in that vulnerable position, then the problem wouldn't exist in the first place.

What if you delete the number? Do you have it memorized?

Originally Posted by nevergoodenough

It hurts, I know... I've been ignored by someone for a month and I know I just keep making things worse by continuing to text but it just hurts so much and I want it to stop.