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#1
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Hello everyone. I am a 43 year old male who has been diagnosed with BPD and to be honest im scared. I have been in a relationship for the last 6 years and she was the best thing that's ever happened to me. During the time together I was not nice to her verbally ( never cheated ) and at times I felt very insecure so I made her think that I had someone else and this would hurt her. The thing is she stood by me through all our bad times and now after finding out about BPD I realise that this has made me not a nice person. I pushed her into another mans arms twice but I feel that was all my own fault. I have always known that my head is not right since the loss of my mother some 7 years ago, when she died I felt responsible for her death and I felt my family turned against me even my ex wife couldn't deal with my grief so I started an affair with Penny ( the one I have just split from ) and she was the one who was there to pick up the pieces. It has now got to a stage that I really need help but I am against medication, my partner who has just left me said she cannot take anymore she feels I will not change and her life has been not nice although when we are happy it was amazing but she thinks the happy times were also false because of my disorder, is that correct ? I need to change for myself and I hope she will stand by me but I cant see it at the moment, she was my rock and ive trashed everything but I know my heart loves and misses her. If she cant stand by me then I do not want to take this into my next relationship, I also feel very low at present and the doctor has referred me as an urgent case to see a shrink. Please if anyone has any advice on the above then let me know, all help will be appreciated. Many thanks. Nick x
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#2
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Hello Nick. I´m basically in the same situation. We are the ones who hate to be alone but do everything to drive people away, including wife's. I´ve started seeing a good shrink and that has forced me to see why I behave like I do. It is not entirely our fault. We are under the spell of a fierce sickness which too often takes over the control. I´m actually seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow and I´m terrified as you of medicine. But maybe it´s necessary, I just don´t know yet. I just hope something good will come out of it. Monty Python always cheers me up a bit and hopefully you as well:
Some things in life are bad They can really make you mad Other things just make you swear and curse. When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out for the best... And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life... Regards ![]() |
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