[jadedbutterfly]

I am having trouble getting my youngest daughter (17, lives with her dad) to communicate with me. Yesterday and the day before I was so angry about it... struggling to try to figure out what I did "this" time to make her mad/or whatever....
and today.. I am not angry... I feel numb. finding it hard to concentrate... just exhausted emotionally.
I am struggling with rather or not to call and her message/text/ email/ and telling her how much she is hurting me?
should I just stop trying and wait for her to contact me?
any input is appreciated... thanks for reading....

[Luvmydog]

Well, I'm not sure, but I think that maybe it mght have something to do with her age(?). I know that when I was seventeen, I didn't think that my parents were very cool. Other than the "Hi/Bye" conversations, or the "Everything was fine at school today" conversations, I really didn't feel that close to them. This being said, it might just be a phase that she is going through as a teenager, and therefore, I would advise against pressuring her to communicate with you. I don't think anything good would come out of that. I would also advise against saying something to her such as "you are really hurting me," unless you can do that and place the heightened emotions to the side. Sometimes, as much as it stinks, time is the best thing to let slide by. Then you may be able to be "cool," even in a seventeen year old's eyes, and have a better line of communication in the future.

[jadedbutterfly]

Originally Posted by Luvmydog

Well, I'm not sure, but I think that maybe it mght have something to do with her age(?).

I don't know if it is her age ....
I was still nursing her (she wasn't 2 yrs old yet) when I was in and out of the hospital a lot... and her father decided he couldn't take the way I was/am, wanted a divorce, and would not let me come. so our bond was severed.
I do not... have not had this problem with my older daughter (22 next month), her father was better at keeping me and her involved in a relationship. She was 7 yrs old when I wasn't allowed to come home...and then she went to live with him and his wife.
So it might be the whole bonding thing. She has done this to me more times than I can count..... just seems to hurt more every time she pulls away from me.

Originally Posted by jadedbutterfly

I don't know if it is her age ....
I was still nursing her (she wasn't 2 yrs old yet) when I was in and out of the hospital a lot... and her father decided he couldn't take the way I was/am, wanted a divorce, and would not let me come. so our bond was severed.
I do not... have not had this problem with my older daughter (22 next month), her father was better at keeping me and her involved in a relationship. She was 7 yrs old when I wasn't allowed to come home...and then she went to live with him and his wife.
So it might be the whole bonding thing. She has done this to me more times than I can count..... just seems to hurt more every time she pulls away from me.

My daughters at this age were too busy learning to be social with their friends and preoccupied with what was going on with other distractions. I'm sorry you are so stressed about it. A nice card telling her your thinking of her is always nice. Calling her to tell her you think of her often( leaving a voice mail telling her you'd like to get together for lunch or something) or texting her to let her know, you are staying inconstant contact with her, she's aware you care about and love her. Telling her that your hurting because she's not communicating, I don't know. take care of you
warm thoughts