[Ultra Darkness]

Last night, my brother asked me a very pointed question: Is there anything I care about enough to spend a lot of time and attention on it? I pointed out my writing and gaming, but he just said, "that's all?" It went from there.

Before long, we wound up in a discussion about my behavior. After describing my attitude as "uncaring and what does it matter" he basically flayed my very personality. He called me rude, mean, and condescending, said that I behave strangely in public and that I fail to grasp what's going on in conversation. He said that my body language is either bored or defensive and my voice is flat. That I make statements no one understands. Nothing was safe.

The high point is that I wasn't really affected by any of it. He was put out by me listing everything he brought up though, and asked why I always have to make lists. My reason in this case is that listing the insults turns them into data, rather than an attack on me. I didn't tell him that however. He wouldn't have gotten it.

The only thing that really bothers me is that the tirade started just because I don't express enough interest in the things he likes. I've never been good at expressing enthusiasm, but he takes it way too seriously when I don't drop everything to focus on Dungeons and Dragons or whatever his current "thing" is. I can understand, to an extent. I mean, I have my obsessions. But I don't rip into people just because they don't share my enthusiasm for Sonic the Hedgehog and Transformers.

So yeah. I think I'm done venting.

No, one more thing. A couple weeks ago he called me goth. I told him that was just a label, and he replied that it was the stupidest thing I'd ever said.

[gayleggg]

Not having any siblings leaves me unable to comprehend the dynamics that would allow one to speak to the other in that manner. I'm glad you didn't take it in.

Originally Posted by Ultra Darkness

Last night, my brother asked me a very pointed question: Is there anything I care about enough to spend a lot of time and attention on it? I pointed out my writing and gaming, but he just said, "that's all?" It went from there.

Before long, we wound up in a discussion about my behavior. After describing my attitude as "uncaring and what does it matter" he basically flayed my very personality. He called me rude, mean, and condescending, said that I behave strangely in public and that I fail to grasp what's going on in conversation. He said that my body language is either bored or defensive and my voice is flat. That I make statements no one understands. Nothing was safe.

The high point is that I wasn't really affected by any of it. He was put out by me listing everything he brought up though, and asked why I always have to make lists. My reason in this case is that listing the insults turns them into data, rather than an attack on me. I didn't tell him that however. He wouldn't have gotten it.

The only thing that really bothers me is that the tirade started just because I don't express enough interest in the things he likes. I've never been good at expressing enthusiasm, but he takes it way too seriously when I don't drop everything to focus on Dungeons and Dragons or whatever his current "thing" is. I can understand, to an extent. I mean, I have my obsessions. But I don't rip into people just because they don't share my enthusiasm for Sonic the Hedgehog and Transformers.

So yeah. I think I'm done venting.

No, one more thing. A couple weeks ago he called me goth. I told him that was just a label, and he replied that it was the stupidest thing I'd ever said.

Your brother seems like an arrogant pr***k I'm sorry but he doesn't like that you don't mold to what he likes and how he thinks so he bashes you. that's just a controlling and manipulative person.

As for you.. the more you talk about your behaviors the more I see Aspie traits...

[Ultra Darkness]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

As for you.. the more you talk about your behaviors the more I see Aspie traits...

Wouldn't surprise me. I've wondered about that ever since you first brought it up. I never even considered it before then (mostly 'cause I didn't know what it was).

I could be wrong of course.. I'm just saying of my understanding of it... that some things you've mentioned are similar to it.

[Ultra Darkness]

Hoo boy, if you knew everything about me that looked like Asperger's...

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Ah, siblings. Gotta love 'em 'cause you can't kill 'em. At least yours talk to you, even if it's not necessarily the conversation you want. Mine pretty much don't communicate at all. I resent it sometimes, but usually I understand it's just easier that way.

[Ultra Darkness]

Yeah, I suppose so. Sometimes I wish he wouldn't talk to me though. Not all the time, but he never seems to accept that there are times when people just want to be left alone (I was going to write last night. Never had a chance).

[allme]

If you don't mind me asking, how old is your brother?

I have a brother too, and he didn't get me in our teens and early 20's but has since grown an understanding and is quite empathic to my situation. He is a lovely caring soul with problems himself so maybe that's why he understand and can be sympathetic. Your brother sounds young and ignorant. Hopefully over time he will learn to be more respectful of your situation!

[jdub2013]

Originally Posted by Ultra Darkness

Last night, my brother asked me a very pointed question: Is there anything I care about enough to spend a lot of time and attention on it? I pointed out my writing and gaming, but he just said, "that's all?" It went from there.

Before long, we wound up in a discussion about my behavior. After describing my attitude as "uncaring and what does it matter" he basically flayed my very personality. He called me rude, mean, and condescending, said that I behave strangely in public and that I fail to grasp what's going on in conversation. He said that my body language is either bored or defensive and my voice is flat. That I make statements no one understands. Nothing was safe.

I've gotten that many times before too. And I mean, MANY times. It's placed on less of a personal level for me because most people who tell me are severely inebriated and half of them don't even remember saying it. Ah, the joys of being a bartender...

But it sounds to me like your brother isn't even making an effort to be understanding. There's a fine line between not having the ability to empathize and just being plain rude.

[Ultra Darkness]

Originally Posted by allme

If you don't mind me asking, how old is your brother?

I have a brother too, and he didn't get me in our teens and early 20's but has since grown an understanding and is quite empathic to my situation. He is a lovely caring soul with problems himself so maybe that's why he understand and can be sympathetic. Your brother sounds young and ignorant. Hopefully over time he will learn to be more respectful of your situation!

He's 17, and he blames my behavior on adolescence.

[allme]

Originally Posted by Ultra Darkness

He's 17, and he blames my behavior on adolescence.

He sounded young. Really he has no place to be saying what he is saying to you. Hopefully he will understand more once matured. Tell him to go do one in the meantime!