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GeorgiaGirl413
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Confused Sep 10, 2013 at 11:14 AM
  #1
I'm in a quandry. I am a nurse in a private practice. One of the providers I work with is very negative, and when something happens that she doesn't like she is like "a dog with a bone" who just will not let go. It matters not that she is doing all this complaining about something she cannot change. She will go on and on. Sometimes for hours, seriously folks, hours. Unfortunately, because of the office set up I am really unable to separate myself from her, and because she is a provider there is no one with the authority to tell her she needs to stop. I have noticed that her complaining is triggering bad feelings in me. I think that I have just come to this conclusion because she has recently returned to work after a prolonged sick leave. I noticed that my moods at work have been much worse recently and in looking at what was different....well, there is was. Does anyone have any suggestions?

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Default Sep 10, 2013 at 11:24 AM
  #2
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Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413 View Post
I'm in a quandry. I am a nurse in a private practice. One of the providers I work with is very negative, and when something happens that she doesn't like she is like "a dog with a bone" who just will not let go. It matters not that she is doing all this complaining about something she cannot change. She will go on and on. Sometimes for hours, seriously folks, hours. Unfortunately, because of the office set up I am really unable to separate myself from her, and because she is a provider there is no one with the authority to tell her she needs to stop. I have noticed that her complaining is triggering bad feelings in me. I think that I have just come to this conclusion because she has recently returned to work after a prolonged sick leave. I noticed that my moods at work have been much worse recently and in looking at what was different....well, there is was. Does anyone have any suggestions?
That is a difficult one. The hard part is all my suggestions have been kind of blown away by your description.

I'm assuming you can't listen to music to drown her out, or surely you would already have done that right? that would be my first suggestion.

The other thing is if it's affecting others, she should be reported tbh. I know you say no one can tell her what to do but in truth, are you sure? NOt very many people are truly above the "law" in work places, sometimes you just have to figure out who it is.

I know I'm no help but I do understand your situation and I'm sorry.
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GeorgiaGirl413
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Default Sep 10, 2013 at 11:35 AM
  #3
I do push my door to, and turn the radio on softly. Obviously, I can't just blast her out. I thought about ear phones, but we really aren't supposed to use those in the office. I could talk to my boss, who could talk to her I suppose, it's just that I would feel like I have to reveal more about my moods than I want to. It doesn't seem to get under anyone else's skin like it does mine. They all just laugh at her...(not to her face of course). I could also go to HR, but this just doesn't seem to me to be the kind of thing to go to HR about. I mean, sure, if it was harrassment or something, but this..... Thanks for understanding. I am finding that sometimes just getting written down here and having someone else read it and validate me helps. I really think this was the cause of my anxiety yesterday (she was on a wild tear about the computers being slow). I don't want to resort to Xanax during the day, but I may not have any other option.

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Default Sep 10, 2013 at 11:38 AM
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maybe talking to other coworkers and finding out how they handle it? Getting their perspectives on why she's one ot laugh at rather than get triggered by might give you insight and a new perspective on it.. maybe just make you feel better to be able to vent a little without having to report her?
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Default Sep 10, 2013 at 11:40 AM
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Maybe you can shut your door altogether rather than just push it to? Does your boss know anything about your MI? Perhaps you don't need to go into detail. You can just say that she creates a bad atmosphere and it's getting you down, to the point where you're just not enjoying being at work anymore?

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Default Sep 10, 2013 at 11:46 AM
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Originally Posted by secretwhisper View Post
Maybe you can shut your door altogether rather than just push it to? Does your boss know anything about your MI? Perhaps you don't need to go into detail. You can just say that she creates a bad atmosphere and it's getting you down, to the point where you're just not enjoying being at work anymore?

Yeah I'd be careful about sharing your MI but that's just me.. I'm paranoid.
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GeorgiaGirl413
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Default Sep 10, 2013 at 12:00 PM
  #7
The boss does not really like for us to have our doors completely shut unless we are with a patient or on the phone. She wants the patients to feel free to come into our offices and I get that. I think you might be on to something S4 when you say figure out why the others laugh at her. When I think about it, she is kind of ridiculous. Perhaps just keeping that it mind will help me not to react negatively myself.

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Default Sep 10, 2013 at 12:12 PM
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The boss does not really like for us to have our doors completely shut unless we are with a patient or on the phone. She wants the patients to feel free to come into our offices and I get that. I think you might be on to something S4 when you say figure out why the others laugh at her. When I think about it, she is kind of ridiculous. Perhaps just keeping that it mind will help me not to react negatively myself.
the old addage, "if I don't laugh I'll cry" seems to apply here. sometimes making light of things taht would normally aggravate us is just the thing to take the edge off.
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