[Luvmydog]

Saturday night was a disaster. The day didn't start off too badly, but it ended very poorly. I went to a themed party at a local VFW, and helped set up for it. Everything was going well until about 4 in the afternoon. One of the guests asked me if someone would steam some clams for them (we were selling them raw on the half shell), and I said sure and that it wouldn't be a problem. I told them just to take to one of the guys working at one of the pits and they would take care of it for them.

Well, the self appointed head of the grill overheard me and began to ream me out in front of the guest. Tick, tick, tick. This isn't the first time he treated me like a poopstick (trying to keep it clean). Afterhe finished his diatribe, he told me to tell whoever told me that under no circumstances would they steam any clams. I mean seriously, the customer is right, but anywho. Tick, tick, tick. So, I go over to someone who actually has authority at the post and told him what had happened. He told me that he needed this guy there. I took that to mean that he needed him there more than me. Tick, tick, tick. A while later, the welf appointed grill master came over to me along with another guy, who also has authority at the post, to tell me that they would steam clams for me. I told the guy with authority that it was never for me, but for a customer. He looked at me with a bewildered expression. Tick, tick, tick.

For a very good reason, I do not, under any circumstances, drink rum. It turns me into the devil, and I avoid it at all costs. Well, they were selling both vodka drinks (which don't affect me like rum) and rum drinks that looked very similar. I think that I must have had a rum drink by accident. I turned into someone I haven't been since I stopped drinking rum. They ran out of beer outside, so I went inside to grab one. After I got back outside, the grill master approached me again to lay down the law or some bs. I suppressed, for a few minutes anyway. This is where it gets confusing, because I had put everything down. All the little fires in my mind were doused, but for some reason I focused in on one person. No one else mattered. All I wanted to do was beat the crap out of this guy, and everything about me changed drastically. Tick, tick tick.

Apparently, shortly thereafter, I exploded. I didn't get into a fight. I didn't overtly threaten anyone, but everyone I ran into knew that I wanted to get this guy. I had melted down. One of the regulars, whom I respect greatly, called me over to where he was sitting at the bar, and told me to take a load off and that I looked out of sorts, angry. I sat there for a few minutes, until my wife collected me, and told me that we were leaving. Her brother and his wife followed us to our house. They weren't the only ways who saw me act this way, and it really embarrassed me.

I was still obsessing about fighting this guy the next day. I'm ok now, but I truly don't like being treated like garbage. I think in the future, I will help and set up, but I will participate in things only if this other guy is not there. He comes off as an arrogant SOB, and I don't think we will ever mix well together as long as he keeps this attitude.

hooligan has ended his rant

[UnderTheRose]

Sounds like a lot of triggers to me, and sounds like you held it all in a bit TOO well, then when that self soothing (having drinks) began, it quickly poked holes in that suppressive force field that you'd been successful in putting up to avoid losing your temper.
*hugs*
At least you didn't beat the snot out of anyone!

Originally Posted by UnderTheRose

Sounds like a lot of triggers to me, and sounds like you held it all in a bit TOO well, then when that self soothing (having drinks) began, it quickly poked holes in that suppressive force field that you'd been successful in putting up to avoid losing your temper.
*hugs*
At least you didn't beat the snot out of anyone!

yeah losing inhibitions also lowers our ability to control the things we normally can.