[DatPuSeaCatLuvr]

Okay so I have BPD and I know I display A LOT of codependent behaviors, but I'm starting to think I alternate between that and counterdependency. Does anyone else feel this way? Or maybe there are just some times that I'm not (or are less) codependent? I don't know. How does one find that balance between the 2 extremes of dependency? Ugh I always overthink things.

[spondiferous]

Have you taken DBT? (If you get that question a lot I apologize; I have been diagnosed with BPD and I get that question almost every time I express having a problem, whether it's having an unsavory mood or breaking a shoelace.) Anyway, my reason for asking is, I believe there is definitely balance. But I also believe that aside from having a diagnosis, and having issues with co/counterdependency, it's possible to be entirely human. Look at it rationally. Do you have reasons to feel like you can't/have to live without someone/something? You probably have had at least one major life circumstance at a crucial moment that's helped instil that in you. It's counterproductive in your life and may cause you pain but it's there for a reason. I think acknowledging that and giving yourself credit - yes, credit - for doing what you can to take care of yourself is the first step.
Overthinking is usually the true enemy. However, if you find that co/counterdependency are huge issues for you, you may want to do one, some or all of the following, and/or find other ways of coping with this: attend CoDA (Codependents Anonymous; I've gone and it was hugely helpful); attend psychotherapy or counselling and address the underlying issues; attend CBT and/or DBT; challenge yourself by entering relationships or working on the ones you are already in to learn new ways of being with people; challenge yourself by entering situations where you do not know if you are going to succeed or fail, and if you fail learn to take it in stride; etc. I tend to run on the counterdependent side, and then have codependent traits in relationships. But honestly, sticking out those relationships and not just cutting them off at the first sign of trouble has helped me immensely.
Hopefully since you wrote this thread you are finding more peace around this.