I don't have BPD but from what I've read there seems to be an incredible amount of bad stuff wrote about the condition online. So many websites say things like 'stay away from people with this' 'don't get into relationships with these people.' Even if you think BPD is something to stay away from, I think it is pretty unfair to write things like that about BPD because the person who has it can't help that they have it.
I had a bad experience with a BPD partner but I don't blame her for it. People can't help what they have. Such bad press is very hurtful to people with BPD and no wonder they keep this condition to themselves. How can people expect to get better if people have such a nasty view??

Haters??? On the web??? Say it isnt true.

*rolleyes

[IndieVisible]

It's also some pdocs too. They have a inner circle joke about BPD,

Question: How do you treat BPD?

Answer: You Ignore them.

and that's from "professionals" lol

[technigal]

Originally Posted by DylanP

I don't have BPD but from what I've read there seems to be an incredible amount of bad stuff wrote about the condition online. So many websites say things like 'stay away from people with this' 'don't get into relationships with these people.' Even if you think BPD is something to stay away from, I think it is pretty unfair to write things like that about BPD because the person who has it can't help that they have it.
I had a bad experience with a BPD partner but I don't blame her for it. People can't help what they have. Such bad press is very hurtful to people with BPD and no wonder they keep this condition to themselves. How can people expect to get better if people have such a nasty view??

That has been my husband's experience trying to get information. I know one site said if you are married to someone with BPD divorce them now

Don't even get my started on the Jodi Arias trial. I had a co-worker who liked to go on about her and BPD... I just sat there quietly.

We have to find supportive people which can be hard when you push everyone away.

[Luvmydog]

In direct contrast to all the naysayers is Brandon Marshall, a professional football player who was diagnosed with BPD a few years ago. He started his own foundation to give real knowledge and support for BPD. He plays for the Chicago Bears, and has adopted the color green for the condition. He has a lot of support in the community, including many of the businesses in Chicago that turn on green lights in their window. I watched the Thursday night football game and they panned out to the Chicago skyline, quite a few green lights.

[HealingNSuffering]

Originally Posted by DylanP

I had a bad experience with a BPD partner but I don't blame her for it. People can't help what they have. Such bad press is very hurtful to people with BPD and no wonder they keep this condition to themselves. How can people expect to get better if people have such a nasty view??

I agree 100% it is hurtful and there is a lot of b/s on the internet that is not accurate, especially things that are written about BPD. Even mental health professionals have a nasty view about BPD. As you already said, people keep this condition to themselves. I know if I got with somebody I certainly wouldn't tell her I have BPD, I'd admit to my other diagnosis but not BPD.

Originally Posted by IndieVisible

It's also some pdocs too. They have a inner circle joke about BPD,

Question: How do you treat BPD?

Answer: You Ignore them.

and that's from "professionals" lol

Wow that's crazy. Pdocs are so haughty and grandiose, they probably have their own personality disorder... The Pathologizing personality disorder.

309.XX Pathologizing Personality Disorder
A. Marked tendency to see other people's behavior as disordered and/or disturbing.
B. Presence of at least four of the following:
(1) history of studying psychiatry and/or participating in psychiatric circles
(2) feelings of grandiosity, such as the irrational belief that one's own assessments of another's behavior are more accurate and useful than those of the person being assessed
(3) excessive tendency to dehistoricize knowledge and the ensuing irrational belief that one's current cultural context applies to all times, places, and societies
(4) excessive preoccupation with name calling and other essentialist diagnostic practices rooted in the misconception that adjectival descriptions are indeed inner maladies
(5) recurrent inability to conceptualize problems without referring to a diagnostic manual
(6) anxiety when all human behavior is not reduced to mechanistic theories of internal dysfunction
(7) inclusion on more than two health maintenance organization provider lists
(8) unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control diagnostic manual use
C. A great deal of time is spent in activities related to diagnostic labeling (e.g., buying diagnostic manual related books, persistent efforts to devise diagnostic manual-based assessment devices, developing new or revising current diagnostic criteria, fantasizing about joining a diagnostic manual-revision task force).
D. Important social, occupational, or recreational activities are given up or reduced because of diagnostic manual use (e.g., would rather read diagnostic manual than great literature, prefers psychiatric conferences to art museums or theater performances, fails to effectively help clients because can only conceptualize their problems using diagnostic classification).
E. Diagnostic manual use is continued despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent physical, social, occupational, or psychological problem that is likely to have been caused or exacerbated by diagnostic manual use (e.g., recurrent arguments with peers over inter-rater reliability; marital difficulties due to diagnosing one's significant other; feelings of abandonment in family members, friends, and colleagues after they have been diagnosed repeatedly; failure to receive insurance reimbursements).
F. The symptoms cause distress or impairment in social, occupational or another important area of functioning.
G. The symptoms are not better accounted for by Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Subtypes:
Acute: symptoms last for a minimum of two days but no longer than three months or one semester in a graduate psychopathology class.
Chronic: symptoms persist for a minimum of six months and/or the patient is a practicing clinician.

Stolen from: For the new DSM's consideration: "Pathologizing Personality Disorder." | The New Existentialists

Originally Posted by Luvmydog

In direct contrast to all the naysayers is Brandon Marshall, a professional football player who was diagnosed with BPD a few years ago. He started his own foundation to give real knowledge and support for BPD. He plays for the Chicago Bears, and has adopted the color green for the condition. He has a lot of support in the community, including many of the businesses in Chicago that turn on green lights in their window. I watched the Thursday night football game and they panned out to the Chicago skyline, quite a few green lights.

I heard about him, what a kind and brave soul. It needs more people like him to stand up for what is right.

No... people can't help what they have. It's really good to hear someone who doesn't have BPD say this. Cause everyone else seems to not be able to stand people with BPD...

[bronzeowl]

Sadly, yes, a lot of doctors will refuse to treat someone with BPD. It really is sad. I feel like all of the personality disorders get bad attention. But perhaps, BPD gets it the hardest. One of my only friends has BPD. She is a very kind, sweet person. She just happens to have BPD. I have learned to know how boundaries and I respect them, the same as she respects mine. I only wish everyone could learn to understand that people with it are not defined by it. Sadly, most people seem to think personality disorders completely define a person.

My Pdoc actually hates the word BPD, I am lucky that I have a very good T who is very patient with me I do get rather angry when I watch on TV or read about people that think those with BPD are bad people.

Yes people with BPD are treated poorly. Its sad because the bottom line is people with BPD suffer inside like nothing I can describe and all the time. Sometimes I wish I could give it to someone like a psychiatrist that can't understand what its like inside. In fact even bipolar disorder people don't understand and some psychiatrist think it can be fixed just by meds and some CBT and if you can't be cured in X amount of time there is something wrong with you and then get angry with you and dump you.

What gets me is that these and not all but some psychiatrists which decided to go through school specifically for helping people with mental disorders just end up frustrated and dump the patient. Here is the thing, a person with cancer goes to a doctor (specialist) to treat the cancer. Do you think the doctor (specialist) will get angry and frustrated at the cancer patient because they are not cured and dump them? I highly doubt it because they understand that the cancer patient cannot cure themselves. Just like people with a mental disorder they cannot just cure themselves. In fact if you watch some of the psychiatrist interviewed on you tube you will notice not one can admit they cured any of their patients. I am not saying that ALL psychiatrists think this way but there are quite a few out there that do. Getting angry with their patient and dumping them with an attitude will actually damage the patient even more. I know it happened to me and the damage is so severe I am worse off now then when I was first diagnosed 1.5 years ago.

[wiltedxdaisy]

BPD is probably one of the most misunderstood mental health disorders out there. It makes me very sad. A lot of the time, when I am talking about having BPD, even to health care professionals they will assume I am referring to Bipolar Disorder. When I explain that no, I have Borderline Personality Disorder, they usually just ignore me and continue on. I wish people were more aware of this disorder, and that they understood this disorder and that there wasn't so much garbage about it online, I actually had no idea until reading this post that there were pages saying things like "leave your husband/wife if they have this"! This makes me furious. How can people educate themselves when there are so many lies like this all over the internet? It's all just very sad.

So glad that I have a safe place to come to on here, where I know people will understand.

[technigal]

Originally Posted by wiltedxdaisy

... I actually had no idea until reading this post that there were pages saying things like "leave your husband/wife if they have this"! This makes me furious. How can people educate themselves when there are so many lies like this all over the internet? It's all just very sad.

So glad that I have a safe place to come to on here, where I know people will understand.

Most people do not want to be educated, they just want the lies that are out there. Luckily for my husband divorce is not an option, although I threaten to divorce him he would never initiate a divorce. I don't know if he found any positive support info for spouses.

And yes, I love that this site and these chat boards exist.

[Lmats]

I've actually seen the term "borderline *****" being used every now and again to describe someone particularly manipulative and impulsive. It actually upsets me a lot whenever I hear it. One of my psych profs actually put in his lecture about personality disorders that those with Cluster B disorders are "lousy friends". That upset me for days. I feel like I would give an arm and a leg to cheer a friend up if they were in need. I never thought of myself as a lousy friend.