[learningtolive2013]

I find myself feeling a lot of anxiety in social situations. Unless i'm drinking of course..

I feel like everyone is looking at me and can see right through me and are judging me. I feel like they look at me and say "she's different". I feel different.

I analyze everything I say, who I talk to, the way i'm sitting and then I start thinking to myself "I should have said this" I should have said that" or did I say the right things. And then I start analyzing "their" behavior and words to see if I can validate what I already feel.

I can't enjoy myself because i'm so worried about what other people are thinking of me.

I've been trying to get out and do more, to stick to my commitments "usually I back out" and isolate, but it has created a lot of anxiety and discomfort for me.

Anyone else? Social settings?

[allme]

Omg you just described me too! I usually drink crap loads to deal with it and usually end up making a fool of myself. I don't have anything helpful to say sorry but I really do understand.

[learningtolive2013]

Thanks :-) it feels good to just know that i'm not alone in this. Constantly seeking that validation to not feel like "i'm different".. I do the same thing when I drink to loosen up and end up making a fool of myself too..

I just feel like I don't fit in, I don't speak their language and they can see it..

[Zabine]

Hopefully you will get used to being "different" and embrace it. I moved away from where I grew up over 10 years ago. I believe that has helped me accept myself. Good luck, try radical acceptance from DBT in this situation.........

Me too, always.

[atomicc]

Yeah I'm completely like this. I constantly am obsessing over what people are thinking of what I say or do. I just drink or don't have friends. :/

[technigal]

I find that right now when I am in public with crowds that I am having anxiety attacks. Grocery shopping is difficult. With small groups of people I am ok.

[Fuzzybear]

I understand this also.....

[hawaii04]

Originally Posted by learningtolive2013

I find myself feeling a lot of anxiety in social situations. Unless i'm drinking of course..

I feel like everyone is looking at me and can see right through me and are judging me. I feel like they look at me and say "she's different". I feel different.

I analyze everything I say, who I talk to, the way i'm sitting and then I start thinking to myself "I should have said this" I should have said that" or did I say the right things. And then I start analyzing "their" behavior and words to see if I can validate what I already feel.

I can't enjoy myself because i'm so worried about what other people are thinking of me.

I've been trying to get out and do more, to stick to my commitments "usually I back out" and isolate, but it has created a lot of anxiety and discomfort for me.

Anyone else? Social settings?

I GET IT! I DO IT! I AM IT! I try to be comfortable with feeling uncomfortable if that makes sense to you. Knowing it's only a feeling, albeit a very real one and that WE are primarily the ones judging ourselves. I have found that making myself be in social settings more often and for perhaps shorter amounts of time helps.

[Rise]

This is me too

Put it this way............ My anxiety just soared from READING your post of "in a social setting".

I hate, hate, hate any social setting outside of perhaps immediate family (and sometimes not even them).

[GeorgiaGirl413]

I get this. My best advice though is to leave the alcohol alone. It does not make it better, only worse. Trust me. BPD is bad enough. Being an alcoholic with BPD is worse.