[Farfallas]

This is not what is supposed to be happening. I'm the one that is supposed to have a grip on reality and helping others cope because you see I was going to school for psychology and working on getting my BA in psychology with a MA in social work. This was till I made the stupid choice to do something stupid at the beginning of the month, and than last Wednesday so not yet a full week, I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. First off let me say i HATE the term borderline personality disorder. Why? Because I don't have an issue with my personality I have an issue regulating my emotions. It should be emotion regulation disorder or something not a personality disorder. The stigma that is out around this is horrible as well. Not even a full week yet and the amount of cold shoulders I have gotten is well beyond excusable or countable. Not from the public because I haven't made it public per se.... Meaning the people who know me personally... But like looking for a therapist.... And a doctor. No one wants to work with any one that has BPD. Oh and trying to find a support forum where you feel welcome is a challenge too. There's a few good, I mean really good ones out there for family members with a loved one with BPD but nothing like bpdfamily.org or. Com I don't remember and there's another one that has fog in it. It's frustrating. I don't understand it, i don't get it... I hate it. I'm still trying to figure things out and I feel I like I have a piece of bubble gum in my mouth that is to big to chew but I can't spit any of it out...

[technigal]

Originally Posted by Farfallas

This is not what is supposed to be happening. I'm the one that is supposed to have a grip on reality and helping others cope because you see I was going to school for psychology and working on getting my BA in psychology with a MA in social work. This was till I made the stupid choice to do something stupid at the beginning of the month, and than last Wednesday so not yet a full week, I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. First off let me say i HATE the term borderline personality disorder. Why? Because I don't have an issue with my personality I have an issue regulating my emotions. It should be emotion regulation disorder or something not a personality disorder. The stigma that is out around this is horrible as well. Not even a full week yet and the amount of cold shoulders I have gotten is well beyond excusable or countable. Not from the public because I haven't made it public per se.... Meaning the people who know me personally... But like looking for a therapist.... And a doctor. No one wants to work with any one that has BPD. Oh and trying to find a support forum where you feel welcome is a challenge too. There's a few good, I mean really good ones out there for family members with a loved one with BPD but nothing like bpdfamily.org or. Com I don't remember and there's another one that has fog in it. It's frustrating. I don't understand it, i don't get it... I hate it. I'm still trying to figure things out and I feel I like I have a piece of bubble gum in my mouth that is to big to chew but I can't spit any of it out...

You are right, for the most part BPD is all about emotions.

I was referred to this site by a psychologist I was temporarily seeing. I have found the people on this forum to be amazing and supportive to me and others.

If you remember the name of the forums for families I would love the name, you can PM it to me. My husband does not want to come on these boards as he does not want to make things awkward for me.

[allme]

Hi

I don't like the term 'personality disorder either' ...makes me feel like crap actually when I think about it

I know it can hit you hard when first told, but you will come to accept it over time.

Knowledge is power, learn as much as you can about it and find a t (DBT if you can) as soon as you can.

There are a lot of wonderful ppl here and hope to see you around

[sheiba]

welcome! I am also newly diagnosed and I agree, the stigma of having this adds to keeping it a secret and not getting help...I also agree there is a wonderful site bpdfamily thats great for people living with us , they have ambassadors that post on your site with suggestions, but the portrail of us is awful. as if we chose to have this, its so not fair, I am trying to read up on it going to t and this site has helped who else can we talk to? who else understands the way we think and behave,there is a site bpdrecovery but i am unable to log into site I think it has been spamed to death ,, its all messes up WELCOME

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Farfallas, stop worrying about things that you cannot change. Embrace the diagnosis and know that now you can move forward toward getting better. Sorry you are getting the "cold shoulder", but better to know now that these folks don't like working with BPD's rather than later. By being honest about your diagnosis you can find someone who will be willing to work with you in a therapeutic way. There is no reason that you cannot complete your education just as you had planned. You are the same person that you were before the diagnosis. Now you just have a name for why you are the way you are. Look for a T that does dialetic behavioral therapy (DBP). They specialize in borderlines. And keep coming here. We're all in this boat with you. Some are a little further along in the journey and have made some progress so perhaps we can give you some hope. Glad you're here.

[technigal]

When I saw my therapist today she also agrees that BPD should not really called a personality disorder but an emotional regulation disorder. She has worked with a lot of people with BPD.

[learningtolive2013]

Welcome Farfallas, I feel like this is a great forum with a lot of support and kindness all around.. I too was a fellow Psych Major and dropped out, I completely understand your frustration. There's no reason not to pursue it though "when you're ready".. I hope you feel comfortable here to share and ask questions, we are a great group.. And I agree about the name of the disorder. Definitely needs to be changed..

[Farfallas]

Thanks everyone for the support... I have been kind of running around crazy the last few days, and I mean crazy. I think I have been home to sleep and in between home for at most 3 hours in broken amounts of time. I'm still trying to get used to the whole idea of things. Finally find a therapist that I like, YAY!!! I start her tomorrow actually and she agrees with me as well that it should be changed to emotional regulation disorder not BPD. I hate Borderline Personality! I was re-reading my OP and it is so all over the place and I am so sorry for that. This new med I am on is part cause for that... damn topamax... I'm on it for my migraines, and that is a side a effect. Anyone else using this as well and have this same problem? does it ever go away or do you just get used to being all over the place? I am soon going to have sticky notes all over the freaking place so I don't forget anything. I can't remember apts. from the time I make them till the moment I get off the phone. I have to write them down, get off the phone than put them in. Grief... its so frustrating. Okay I gotta get off and run now! Hope everyone is hanging in there!!