[hezaa82]

Why do I want to tell the person who is making me sad how sad they are making me? What am I looking for? consolation? Validation? Asking J to spend one on one time with me and getting turned down set me off on a big destructive rampage. I just have to keep telling him how much it hurts. Am I angry at myself? Do I hate myself?

I get it. You want so hard for the negative feelings to go away that you feel as though telling him, making him understand will relieve those feelings.
You're not alone, hang in there.

[hezaa82]

That makes a lot of sense.

I also think it has to do with repressed anger I have against my parents and everyone who's ever let me down including J. I feel like I had a release. I feel calm now. But there's always more where that came from.

I feel calm after a melt down too, but it never lasts long. People usually are pretty upset with me after and that will send me right back into a melt down state.
Your emotions overwhelm you and that is such a sucky thing to deal with. I know.
-Hugs-

[allme]

I always let it known if someone has upset me! How are they meant to know otherwise?

[alley.cat]

I feel the same way. I have such a strong urge to make it understood how hurt I feel.