[atomicc]

I have plans with my only friend today and I'm basically freaking out about it. She's coming to the city with me to go to the museum of natural history for a school project then we plan to get a drink somewhere and spend the day together. I'm so nervous to be around people right now. I've already texted her telling her it's totally okay if she doesn't want to go and she hasn't answered me so obviously I'm very anxious and thinking she's going to ditch me and that she doesn't like me.
I don't know what to do with myself right now.

Friendship makes me anxious too. :/ Has she texted back yet?

[atomicc]

Yes, she finally answered and told me she'd be late so we'd have to get a later boat into the city. I'm immediately thinking it's because she doesn't like me, though I know that's ridiculous.

[ChocolateChip]

Originally Posted by atomicc

I've already texted her telling her it's totally okay if she doesn't want to go and she hasn't answered me so obviously I'm very anxious and thinking she's going to ditch me and that she doesn't like me.

Google and start reading about projective identification. Lately i've been controlling myself from doing it. I've understood the mechanism and am quite self conscious about it when i'm about to do it.

Analyse what you did there. You've texted her it's ok not to come, just so you get reassured about your plans. That's some form of manipulation. Next time when you know something is happening, don't interfere and don't expect everything to be perfect. You've become anxious in the moment you've realized something might be wrong because she did not immediately answer, in other words, you've brought this feeling to yourself. If you're uncertain it's happening, then just give the other person a chance to express him/herself first.

Again, look at what you wrote... you needed her to like you and stick with you, but why did you text her it's fine if she's not willing to come in the first place?

Other easy to detect projective identification is when you're speaking with someone and you're basically asking for their approval - ending a sentence with "right?"
examples:
I'm pretty today, right?
Don't tell me i'm unstable right now!
It's expensive, but we should buy it, right?

Basically you always expect the next person to agree with you, and you know he will, but try hard to stop yourself next time. Maybe someday you will remember my advice and you will understand why it's helpful.
Our brains are ****ed up and we need to readjust our thinking.

[rabbit1234]

I am that way also. Thats why I don't have any friends. I'm sorry

[Angel of Bedlam]

I have a hard time with this too! Friendships are scary because it's just another person who can let you down and hurt you. Hang in there, you can do this!

Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk

Originally Posted by atomicc

Yes, she finally answered and told me she'd be late so we'd have to get a later boat into the city. I'm immediately thinking it's because she doesn't like me, though I know that's ridiculous.

Don't you hate that, when you know something is illogical but at the same time you're convinced of this illogical notion? I can tell you, I've been there time and again... in the past. I know what you mean.

Hang in there I'm sure it will be fine. A friend that wanted to ditch you and didn't like you would not even tell you they were going to be late. They just wouldn't show up, let you know, and would, well, ditch you completely and it doesn't sound like that's what she's doing. Hope this helps.

~S4

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Try, please try, to relax and have fun!!!! Your friend likes you. Things happen to make people late. Listen to what you know is true, not the lies this disease tells us. Hugs!!!

[atomicc]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

Don't you hate that, when you know something is illogical but at the same time you're convinced of this illogical notion? I can tell you, I've been there time and again... in the past. I know what you mean.

Hang in there I'm sure it will be fine. A friend that wanted to ditch you and didn't like you would not even tell you they were going to be late. They just wouldn't show up, let you know, and would, well, ditch you completely and it doesn't sound like that's what she's doing. Hope this helps.

~S4

I hate it so much! It's so difficult because in my head I know what I'm thinking isn't real but yet my emotional response still goes along with the illogical idea. We actually had a really good time, although I unloaded all my craziness on her.