[foreverlonely]

I have posted before how I never know how my boyfriend feels about me.
I feel like he treats me like a ¨vehicle¨ for material attainment and caregiver for his daughters. I feel like he doesn't love ME for me.

He sees my depression getting worse and he tries to boost me up, but I feel he does that so that his future plans are not ruined.

Why would he not say he loves me. Maybe that would help me but he has never said he loves me after 2 years.

Why can we never judge peoples true feelings.

[lynn808]

Originally Posted by foreverlonely

I have posted before how I never know how my boyfriend feels about me.
I feel like he treats me like a ¨vehicle¨ for material attainment and caregiver for his daughters. I feel like he doesn't love ME for me.

He sees my depression getting worse and he tries to boost me up, but I feel he does that so that his future plans are not ruined.

Why would he not say he loves me. Maybe that would help me but he has never said he loves me after 2 years.

Why can we never judge peoples true feelings.

Sorry that he doesn't say how he feels out loud... It is frustrating when we want someone to tell us they love us. I am glad he boosts you when you are low. Do you two talk about love at all??? I try not to judge because it usually turns out wrong...but it is hard not to judge others and ourselves....hugs to you to try to make it every day!!!

[Elektra_]

u need to talk to him about it. and when u said is probb just for "his future plans not be ruined" can be the bpd talking. tc

[foreverlonely]

Originally Posted by lynn808

Sorry that he doesn't say how he feels out loud... It is frustrating when we want someone to tell us they love us. I am glad he boosts you when you are low. Do you two talk about love at all??? I try not to judge because it usually turns out wrong...but it is hard not to judge others and ourselves....hugs to you to try to make it every day!!!

Thanks. We never talk about our feelings at all. I wrote in text that I love him and his girls.....and he never replied.

I am sick with stomach virus and he hasn't contacted me all day.

I m not feeling the¨ love......
I wish the holidays were over......

[foreverlonely]

Originally Posted by Elektra_

u need to talk to him about it. and when u said is probb just for "his future plans not be ruined" can be the bpd talking. tc

Yes I agree it may be the bpd talking but I am feeling fairly sure he is using me.

I will try to talk to him about his feelings, I am getting closer to trying to do that.

Thanks

[technigal]

It is hard talking about feelings. My husband tells me that he loves me all the time (multiple times a day) and I still doubt his love. It is part of BPD and it sucks big time.

[foreverlonely]

Originally Posted by technigal

It is hard talking about feelings. My husband tells me that he loves me all the time (multiple times a day) and I still doubt his love. It is part of BPD and it sucks big time.

That's nice you hear those words from him. Im happy for you.

I seem to give too much leeway in relationships and I think his behaviour shows me he doesn't love me.
My bpd makes me doubt myself so much that I am with people who don't love me.

I agree with TC that the hole "Just so his future plans aren't ruined" is probably the BPD voice talking.
However, no "I love you" in two years?? This is a red flag to me. Definetly talk about it with him. Caring for someone's children is a pretty big deal, he must care for you if he allows you to be in their lives. but how would you be sure of it if he never says so?
I feel for you. You're not alone. My partner isn't the lovy-dovy type either.

[foreverlonely]

thanks for your opinion. I agree it is a red flag. Im not sure he cares for me but lets his girls be with me because I am a good mother and nurturing and that what he wants for his GIRLS. I am a means to an end.
And sorry for no lovey dovey