[Rosondo]

Hi, sorry for the odd nature of my question. I have read a book on the subject, walking on eggshells I think, but still can't quite understand people who have borderline personality. Someone close to me has it and my relationship with this person has been cause of much pain and anguish for me. Not to say it has been easy for them either, my own lack of understanding has also contributed to me causing them pain.

When this person loves me, it feels like the world has been given to me. But a minute later I suddenly notice a change and I feel hate, or annoyance, or whatever else. At times I have felt invisible to them. Like I don't matter. At times I have been the receiver of quite damaging rage from them. More often than not I've felt they resort to "manipulation." I have had great difficulty being able to form a real picture of who they are. Like at times I saw them as master manipulator who does not stop even if I beg, at times seeing them as helpless victims (this person was victimized chronically by family and relatives), at times as distant and indifferent, at times very powerful and in control....

Sometimes they tell me something that hurts me greatly and then later when we talk I'm still hurt and they act as if they never told me anything and in fact look concerned and worried to see what is wrong with me. They come across as both fragile and dangerous, like if I push back and get angry with them I could damage them, even if I reject them merely out of frustration with their boundary intrusion, and at the same time they so easily reject me as if I have no feelings.

Recently I have created boundaries (I had none myself before, which could not have been helpful for either of us) and become more distant, tried to be respectful as best as I can. That I am not expressing my anger with them has led to a lot of internal pain, so every innocent call typically leads to me ruminate and feel a lot of pain and have sleepless nights. But me arguing with them and being mad is not good or helpful or compassionate either.

Recently I've also tried to come to understand them as best as I can. Like instead of seeing certain behavior as "manipulative" in the sense that they planned it and hate me, I see it more as impulsive in-the-moment kind of reaction and coming from strong needs and wants that sometimes overwhelm them. So if they reject me, it's not necessarily person and more about them than me. Of course this does not make me feel that much better, because when I'm rejected this way, I also feel like I don't matter. At least if it was person, I did matter.

In any case, I wish to learn more about how it feels on the inside because it will help me have more compassion. When I was having panic attacks, I tried to do that myself, to tell others how it feels to have panic, so people could have more compassion towards me and understand me and even help me (for one, by not keep asking me questions when I was going through it, which I found annoying).

With BPD it's so frustrating because sometimes when they're calm and happy they have so much to give and are so generous but that state of mind seems to change momentarily and I lose connection just like that. It's like experiencing many losses every day, with the same person.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I can only give you my account of what it's like for me. But each of us are different but yet similar.

I have two halves: logical/emotional, strong/fragile, dependent/independent, smart/naive, content/depressed, child/adult, helpful/helpless, needy of affection/fearful of rejection, etc. For me, I actually can experience both sides at the same time. My problem is that I'm ALWAYS at war with myself. The two sides NEVER get along. I can't allow one side to "win" because both sides have their purpose and importance. The logic gives me understanding and the emotions give me empathy.

So an example of my personal relationship: One day, I will be head-over-heels in love with my fiance. He will treat me like a princess, and I will do anything and everything for him. Then an hour later he gets stressed out over his own personal issue. I take his stress on as my stress. I then view him as abusive, neglectful, selfish. My attitude towards him changes, so his attitude towards me changes. Then I have just fulfilled a self-fulfilling prophecy. (My relationship is a lot more complicated then that, but that is a basic rendition of it).

The people who stay in my life are the people who have learned to walk the very fine line between my two halves. They have to have boundaries, but they also can't cut themselves off from me. I need their strength and caring to lead me through the relationship. It is a lot to ask of someone which is why I don't allow many people in my life. But I know for a fact that no one has ever said that they regretted being a part of my life. No one has solely left me because of my mental health problems. Even my new T has told me that she loves talking to me and following my thoughts because even to her it actually makes sense (not that it's healthy)

[Maranara]

I agree with the constant war with yourself, particularly when it comes to friendships and romantic relationships. Your head and your mind are constantly at odds on what do, how to solve something, or what direction to take. Your emotions are saying "jump right in now and do this" while your head is saying "are you crazy for even thinking that"?

In addition, my emotions can change very, very fast. I can go through four our five extreme emotions in a matter of a minute or two. Example: someone comes in with an ugly face....you INSTANTLY think they are mad or disgusted with you, they show a look of confusion...you INSTANTLY feel remorse for thinking that way. A song comes on the radio....you INSTANTLY feel happy and want to dance, and the person doesn't want to dance....you INSTANTLY get very, very angry and want to lash out or stomp of the room.

[learningtolive2013]

I am a very emotional, loving person... I will give you my world but you have to play by my rules otherwise I feel abandoned and neglected.. I can be your best friend and your worst enemy.. I can't imagine what it feels like to be you.. Like a tug of war, pushed and pulled.. back and forth.. come here, go away, I love you, I hate you.. go away, don't leave me..

What it feels like to be borderline?? I living hell on earth and even the true HELL in the bible doesn't even scare me because every day I live in hell... I hurt people but don't mean to, I crave love and attention but push people away that love me the most.. IF I could explain BPD in a nutshell it is having the hugest contradictory feelings you could ever experience all at the same time.. love me, don't leave me.. I hate you, go away.. all at the same time...

[learningtolive2013]

It feels like chaos, like never having peace or silence.. It feels like a constant struggle, it feels like never waking up from a nightmare but faking your way through it, it feels like wanting to end it all but not having the guts to do it, it feels like wanting more and better but never obtaining it, it feels like being so alone even when someone is near and holding you, it feels like wanting to crawl out of your own skin just for a minute to be anyone other than yourself, it feels like not being accepted, loved, appreciated or important by anyone especially yourself.. You are your own worst enemy and nobody can criticize you as much as you do yourself.. You cause chaos with those closest to you but you crave their love and attention.. It' a no win situation because the closer you crave to be and the closer you get to someone and let go and escape and enmesh yourself with someone the more chaotic it is........... There is no winning outcome..

[Truth in Ruin]

I did not write this, but this should help answer that question:

You wanted to know the worst about me, the things I told no one and hid below the surface. How do I explain it? How do I explain who I am when I am not even sure of it myself? How do I put into words the worst parts of me that I have run from for so long? I will tell you my secrets, I will tell you everything. Maybe it will help me. Maybe you will hate me for it or maybe you will understand. I don't know, but I am sick of running. So here it is, I will give you what you want.

I hate you. That is not true, but sometimes I think it is. I will not answer the phone when you call, even though I want to talk to you. I will not call you, even though it is all I want to do. I will not reach out to you, even though every part of me wants to. I will be mad at you, I will want to hurt you, I will drive you away because I am afraid to let you closer. I need your constant attention, your reassurances, but I will greet them with cold indifference. I will be jealous of the attention you give others, and I will get mad at you for ignoring me. I will feel close to you and care for you one day, only to be mad and want you out of my life the next.

I am an emotional amnesiac, maybe I always have been. I take each event, each day, each conversation as a seperate event, always looking for signs that you might hurt me. When I feel neglected, I will get mad and forget that the day before you told me how much you cared. I am an inconsistent mess. There is a part of me who is happy and confident and another part that is insecure and needy. These days, I never know which one it will be. Every time I think I am in control, that I know you care and I feel comfortable with our relationship, the fear and doubt will come back. Maybe with time it will go away completely, but doubt it. All it will take is another close relationship, another new friend, another day and it will be back.

You ask what you can do and I do not know what to say. The needy part of me wants your constant attention, it needs your words and thoughts, your presence. But I know that is not the answer, I must accept the limitations on our relationship. The scared part of me wants you out of my life because it would be easier. The hateful part of me wants to hurt you because it thinks you have hurt me. All I can ask you to do is to understand, to not give up. I will ignore you at times, I may be rude to you, I may try to hurt you. I may hide from you and wait for you to reach out to me, so I know you will care. It is not fair to do these things, but I will. I cannot ask you to put up with this, it is not fair and no matter how I act, I care too much to put you through this. But you asked, and this is all I have to tell you.

[bluefish27]

It's like being a child that's been beaten, ignored, and violated then dumped on the side of the road in the slums to fend for themselves. They are broken inside, lost, numb, and scared. With each year they sit on the side of that road getting older until they've become an adult and then everyone starts looking at them, asking questions. Who are you, Why are you here, What's wrong with you, Why can't you act like others your age ? The adult doesn't know because all the while they've been a wounded child sitting on the side of the street. They didn't know who they were or where to go or how to act. So think of a normal child's emotions....they are pure and loving they need and want love, they want to do things for themselves like big boys and girls but are still utterly dependent, they throw huge temper tantrums for seemingly small things, they tell their best friends and even parents they hate them and by the next day they love you all over again, they can't understand when mommy or daddy goes on a vacation that they are not going away forever etc you see the pattern ? A borderline is a deeply hurt wounded adult with the emotional capacity and experience similar to a child. That's not an excellent explaination and I hope I don't offend anyone but that's how I feel and sort of how I compare it to. Most of the borderlines I've come into contact with really are so innocent pure and delicate like a child. We crave the warmth, love, and attention that a child needs but we were wounded mistreated left behind so all the while we have a heart of gold at the same time we are scared, mistrustful, even delusional in the actions and words of those closest to us. Don't misunderstand me. We are not 100% children trapped in an adult's body....many of us are very smart successful creative fully functioning adults capable of many a great things. But with the ones we love and that love us.....we emotionally revert back to a wounded lost child. Hope that helped.
PS. Therapy with your fiance's understanding of what's going with her and total dedication can help tremendously. Get some help for yourself too, to be the strongest best you that you can be. To have your own self worth and identity apart from her illness. Because just like a child's needs can be endless, so can ours. Good on you for sticking by her side, it means the world to her I'm very sure, even if she can't realize or express it just yet. But really please do take care of yourself. Maintain in a healthy way not a codependent obsessive way. Best wish and love.

[hawaii04]

A yo-yo, riding on a swing, to the tilt-a-whirl, the merry go round taking a roller coaster ride with kaleidoscope eyes at sluggish or lightning speed sliding through a dark tunnel waiting for the light that may or may not shine soon enough and then instant replay possibly within the same day. Only difference is my head is the location and I'm really ticked off that it isn't an amusement park. Out of control and powerless knowing there's another emotional/mental ride awaiting.

My expectations are mountainous. I love to love and I anticipate being loved in return unconditionally as I need, yet conditional I tend to give. Ever-so-close I desire, yet I do all I can to create space while I'm dying to have someone near. I am constantly scared of losing anything of real meaning to me. I hide from the world (more likely myself) as much as I can so as not to disappoint or be disappointed. I think I am attractive, but I'm more certain I feel ugly ~ inside and out. I want to feel good enough, yet cannot seem to ever measure up to my own or others' imagined standards. I am sure people think less of me than I'd like, I 'hear' criticism and judgment from others in my mind. I am certain of what I want, so unsure of how to obtain it and the idea of maintaining it is overwhelming. Sudden changes leave me spinning emotionally out of control, yet familiarity bores me. I feel like I'm learning to walk for the first time and falling repeatedly . . .and wondering if I'll ever have proper balance to carry on in this thing called life. For me, a mindful state of chaos and anxiety about many things and constantly feeling like something is so defective about me.

[technigal]

Bluefish - you describe things so well. Thank you for posting that.

[Rosondo]

Thanks everyone for sharing so much and helping me understand your experiences, I appreciate it. These responses are helpful for me.

I just read over my own post and realized two glaring spelling errors. The two times I used the word "person" in the third paragraph from the bottom, it's meant to read "personal." For some reason I can't edit my original post anymore.

Having reread my original post, I also felt that it may trigger some people or upset them, given my frustration with this person which may have come across as blaming them and so forth. Just to be clear I really do care for this person or else I would not be spending so much and dealing with so many emotions, in order to understand more. And I think this person cares for me too. It's just too painful when our own expectations, our own emotions, our own upbringing, all that, comes and creates separations and divides between us and we have so much difficulty crossing that divide and coming to touch each other's heart.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Originally Posted by Rosondo

...Having reread my original post, I also felt that it may trigger some people or upset them, given my frustration with this person which may have come across as blaming them and so forth...

I responded because I felt that your concern for your friend was sincere. And I also feel like it allowed a lot of us to be heard, which I know I like. We had a choice whether or not to respond to your comment. I appreciate not only being able to say how I felt, but reading what other people wrote. 95% of the other posts also completely described me.

One suggestion, maybe tell your friend about this website. I think information, truthful/helpful information, is a benefit to everyone (people with BPD and people w/o).

[hawaii04]

Originally Posted by Rosondo

Thanks everyone for sharing so much and helping me understand your experiences, I appreciate it. These responses are helpful for me.

I just read over my own post and realized two glaring spelling errors. The two times I used the word "person" in the third paragraph from the bottom, it's meant to read "personal." For some reason I can't edit my original post anymore.

Having reread my original post, I also felt that it may trigger some people or upset them, given my frustration with this person which may have come across as blaming them and so forth. Just to be clear I really do care for this person or else I would not be spending so much and dealing with so many emotions, in order to understand more. And I think this person cares for me too. It's just too painful when our own expectations, our own emotions, our own upbringing, all that, comes and creates separations and divides between us and we have so much difficulty crossing that divide and coming to touch each other's heart.

Rosondo~ It is obvious that you are a very caring individual. Anything that was said here on your behalf were simply things that one needed to impart. We do not want to have to vent, but it is our nature and a must at times. Thank you for creating the opportunity for expression and above all, thanks for 'listening.'

[Angel of Bedlam]

Originally Posted by Rosondo

Hi, sorry for the odd nature of my question. I have read a book on the subject, walking on eggshells I think, but still can't quite understand people who have borderline personality. Someone close to me has it and my relationship with this person has been cause of much pain and anguish for me. Not to say it has been easy for them either, my own lack of understanding has also contributed to me causing them pain.

When this person loves me, it feels like the world has been given to me. But a minute later I suddenly notice a change and I feel hate, or annoyance, or whatever else. At times I have felt invisible to them. Like I don't matter. At times I have been the receiver of quite damaging rage from them. More often than not I've felt they resort to "manipulation." I have had great difficulty being able to form a real picture of who they are. Like at times I saw them as master manipulator who does not stop even if I beg, at times seeing them as helpless victims (this person was victimized chronically by family and relatives), at times as distant and indifferent, at times very powerful and in control....

Sometimes they tell me something that hurts me greatly and then later when we talk I'm still hurt and they act as if they never told me anything and in fact look concerned and worried to see what is wrong with me. They come across as both fragile and dangerous, like if I push back and get angry with them I could damage them, even if I reject them merely out of frustration with their boundary intrusion, and at the same time they so easily reject me as if I have no feelings.

Recently I have created boundaries (I had none myself before, which could not have been helpful for either of us) and become more distant, tried to be respectful as best as I can. That I am not expressing my anger with them has led to a lot of internal pain, so every innocent call typically leads to me ruminate and feel a lot of pain and have sleepless nights. But me arguing with them and being mad is not good or helpful or compassionate either.

Recently I've also tried to come to understand them as best as I can. Like instead of seeing certain behavior as "manipulative" in the sense that they planned it and hate me, I see it more as impulsive in-the-moment kind of reaction and coming from strong needs and wants that sometimes overwhelm them. So if they reject me, it's not necessarily person and more about them than me. Of course this does not make me feel that much better, because when I'm rejected this way, I also feel like I don't matter. At least if it was person, I did matter.

In any case, I wish to learn more about how it feels on the inside because it will help me have more compassion. When I was having panic attacks, I tried to do that myself, to tell others how it feels to have panic, so people could have more compassion towards me and understand me and even help me (for one, by not keep asking me questions when I was going through it, which I found annoying).

With BPD it's so frustrating because sometimes when they're calm and happy they have so much to give and are so generous but that state of mind seems to change momentarily and I lose connection just like that. It's like experiencing many losses every day, with the same person.

The easiest way I can describe this is with the following sentence:

It is a war waged on and by myself.

Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk

[IGotThis]

For me, it is absolutely everything everyone has said on here... I feel like I'm completely alone in life.. I can be talking to someone 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and still feel like I'm alone... I am living in a constant state of fear and loneliness... If I am physically alone, I am emotionally and spiritually alone... If I am with someone, I am constantly watching for them to leave me... The only time I feel safe and comfortable is when I am touching someone physically, especially with hugs... When I hug, I revert back to that small, broken, hurt, abandoned, lost, scared, alone child, and I never want to let go... I try to hold on physically, because I know the second you let go, and the second you go away, I will lose you forever... I am scared to trust people, because no matter what I do, they're going to leave me... I talk, and I try, and the second I feel like I am sharing too much, and I feel like it's going to be more than they can handle, I shut off completely... When they reach out, I cut them off.. I get scared, and I snap.. Then when they leave, I get angry that they lied about caring.. Then when I think about it, and realize it was my own fault, I turn the anger towards myself.. Then I get scared to try again.. Then when I do, because I can't stand to be alone any longer, and they are right there, I feel elation to a degree only possible to a BPD mind, I feel loved and supported and taken care of and needed, and I return all of those more than received... Then I start talking again... Then I start trusting... Then I get scared... And the cycle begins again... It's a constant cycle, that I can't control...

I have the emotional engine of a Ferrari, and the rational brakes of a bicycle... The rationality is there, it just isn't strong enough to stop the emotional ride that I am on every day...

I am the person you described in your post, word for word. I hate it. I hate me. I want so bad not to be who and what I am. Even sober I can be a real piece of work towards my friends and loved one's.
and like you said, I have so much to give when I am not in that BPD mindset.
If this person is worth fighting for, perhaps you can be there for them while they get help.
Best of luck.

[Rosondo]

It's hard to hear, especially the poster saying "It is a war waged on and by myself," the sense that the person who has to live with and suffering from all this pain is also someone who might play a role in inflicting the pain too.

[hawaii04]

We, as typically caring people don't want to possess the pain within ourselves, nor do we want to inflict the pain upon ourselves and others. Our own 'hell within our prison, for which it feels there's no escape at times.'

[Aphrodites_Muse]

All of these explanations are very dead on. It's scary and comforting to know so many others feel the same daily internal struggle that I feel. To all with BPD I'm so sorry. We create and live in our own hell.

I feel that everyone else has so beautifully captured the feeling that I will accept their words as my own.

[beloiseau]

For me, a lot of it is internal. I have turned into someone I did not want to be, but I don't even know what I wanted to be. I'm on a quest for something to make me feel whole, like I have some purpose in life. I feel like there is a hole in my stomach that can't be filled by anything. I feel like people are judging every action I take. I feel close to others, but at the same time I feel like there is a major divide between us. Not a negative divide, just a wall. I am intimate one day and don't want to be touched the next. Do I know what love feels like? I've pulled away from family and friends. I'm convinced they love me one minute and that I am a burden the next. Romantic relationships end because they just can't deal with my insecurities. I'm not a mean person, I don't often get in fights. I keep everything inside and harbor deep resentment that I feel intense guilt and shame for. I hurt myself to feel less guilt. I'm depressed and anxious. I'm a contradiction to myself. I've done things I said I would never do. I change my mind a hundred times a day regarding simple things. At times my world feels unreal, like I am an alien life form looking at it from the outside. Why do I even consider some things important? Who am I?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[hurtingtheoneilove]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

I can only give you my account of what it's like for me. But each of us are different but yet similar.

I have two halves: logical/emotional, strong/fragile, dependent/independent, smart/naive, content/depressed, child/adult, helpful/helpless, needy of affection/fearful of rejection, etc. For me, I actually can experience both sides at the same time. My problem is that I'm ALWAYS at war with myself. The two sides NEVER get along. I can't allow one side to "win" because both sides have their purpose and importance. The logic gives me understanding and the emotions give me empathy.

So an example of my personal relationship: One day, I will be head-over-heels in love with my fiance. He will treat me like a princess, and I will do anything and everything for him. Then an hour later he gets stressed out over his own personal issue. I take his stress on as my stress. I then view him as abusive, neglectful, selfish. My attitude towards him changes, so his attitude towards me changes. Then I have just fulfilled a self-fulfilling prophecy. (My relationship is a lot more complicated then that, but that is a basic rendition of it).

The people who stay in my life are the people who have learned to walk the very fine line between my two halves. They have to have boundaries, but they also can't cut themselves off from me. I need their strength and caring to lead me through the relationship. It is a lot to ask of someone which is why I don't allow many people in my life. But I know for a fact that no one has ever said that they regretted being a part of my life. No one has solely left me because of my mental health problems. Even my new T has told me that she loves talking to me and following my thoughts because even to her it actually makes sense (not that it's healthy)

I have struggled with this for 15 years and this explains it to a T. I am ALWAYS struggling with my disorder from the moment i wake to up to time i go to sleep I never get a break. Neither do the ones you love unfortunatly

[Aventurine]

Originally Posted by IGotThis

I have the emotional engine of a Ferrari, and the rational brakes of a bicycle... The rationality is there, it just isn't strong enough to stop the emotional ride that I am on every day...

Oh my god I love this. This is exactly me!
Rosondo, I would use the descriptive analogy of the front line of a war zone. Think, Saving Private Ryan.. where they all come in from the sea up onto the shore and of enemy fire, they are ambushed. Well we turn that scene back around on ourselves. We have all the tanks, cannons, guns and artillery facing ourselves. These are our thoughts, pain, emotions, and self beliefs.
It is so frightening to live with that amount of internal danger threatening us every day, every hour. So we freak out and spin it around at others. I flick that machine gun around and pull the trigger. I carelessly fire it out into whoever happens to be in the line of fire. However, I am firing out my own self beliefs.

"You hate me now don't you?" - I hate myself
"You don't care about me!" - I don't know how anyone could care about me.
"You are never here for me!" - I don't want to be alone.
"Everyone gives up on me" - I give up on me.

I can see how this thinking works yet I cannot shake the heartbreaking and debilitating hold it has over me. Its perpetual and freaking annoying to live with!

I really appreciate everyone's descriptions here, and often I don't need to post because I hear my own words in others. Up until a few weeks ago I thought I was the only one who must be like this, I would explain to people and they would tell me I need to just "get over it". !!! Thank you everyone who posts. I don't feel like an alien anymore.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

I found this question to be intrusive and just plain rude. If he wants to know what it feels like why not ask the person he is supposedly so close too if he cares that damn much about them. And yes, it's this kind of **** that triggers me. People who ask these kinds of questions haven't got a clue and never will have.

[IGotThis]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

I can't believe you guys went to all the trouble to answer this guy. I found his question intrusive and just plain rude. If he wants to know what it feels like why not ask the person he is supposedly so close too if he cares that damn much about them. And yes, it's this kind of **** that triggers me. People who ask these kinds of questions haven't got a clue and never will have.

If someone close to you asked you that same question, would you be able to answer? I know I wouldn't... I would be too scared for so many reasons, all bpd related... So if that person who wanted to know went somewhere else, I would be thrilled that they care enough to try and learn, as well as understand my limitations and fears... I don't know if that is the case here, but I am going to assume it is, and help that person... I find it easier for me to communicate here, where I won't be judged on how I feel than I do in real life where I don't have that security... If he doesn't have a clue, at least he is trying to get one... I am not saying you don't have a reason to be upset, because I have no idea where you're coming from with this. I am simply saying, for me, this post helped a lot, because I was able to use other people's descriptions to help with a relationship of my own... We are all here to support each other, not tear each other down... If somebody doesn't understand, our job is to do our best to help them... I don't think he posted this out of malice, but I believe he truly wants to understand and care for this person, which is all any of us wants anyways... I don't mean to be snippy towards you at all, I just don't want to lose my safe haven for discussion because somebody feels only certain people should be welcome... That being said, please keep posting and stay on here, because you do have many good things to say, just try to remember that we are all here for the same reason, even if it's shown in a different way through each of is...

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by IGotThis

If someone close to you asked you that same question, would you be able to answer? I know I wouldn't... I would be too scared for so many reasons, all bpd related... So if that person who wanted to know went somewhere else, I would be thrilled that they care enough to try and learn, as well as understand my limitations and fears... I don't know if that is the case here, but I am going to assume it is, and help that person... I find it easier for me to communicate here, where I won't be judged on how I feel than I do in real life where I don't have that security... If he doesn't have a clue, at least he is trying to get one... I am not saying you don't have a reason to be upset, because I have no idea where you're coming from with this. I am simply saying, for me, this post helped a lot, because I was able to use other people's descriptions to help with a relationship of my own... We are all here to support each other, not tear each other down... If somebody doesn't understand, our job is to do our best to help them... I don't think he posted this out of malice, but I believe he truly wants to understand and care for this person, which is all any of us wants anyways... I don't mean to be snippy towards you at all, I just don't want to lose my safe haven for discussion because somebody feels only certain people should be welcome... That being said, please keep posting and stay on here, because you do have many good things to say, just try to remember that we are all here for the same reason, even if it's shown in a different way through each of is...

There's a forum called partners and caregivers support. That's where this post ought to be. And yes, if someone who cared about me asked this question I would do my very best to answer them. And I don't think that my response means that you have lost your safe haven for discussion. I didn't say the OP wasn't welcome. I said I didn't like his question. Am I not allowed my opinion, even if it is different from all the other posters so far? And yes, those of us who suffer with this illness are here to support and help one another. I will continue to support those who suffer. But this guy is not one of us. To my mind he is an outsider digging around for info. Sorry if I offended you, but folks like the OP just set my teeth on edge.

[IGotThis]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

There's a forum called partners and caregivers support. That's where this post ought to be. And yes, if someone who cared about me asked this question I would do my very best to answer them. And I don't think that my response means that you have lost your safe haven for discussion. I didn't say the OP wasn't welcome. I said I didn't like his question. Am I not allowed my opinion, even if it is different from all the other posters so far?

I am not at all saying that you do not have a right to your opinion... I was more concerned about the initial statement of "I can't believe you guys went through all this trouble to answer this guy"... I think (and again, I honestly don't know), that this guy might want it directly from the source... A bunch of people without bpd can't explain what it's like to have it... I do agree that most of his posts probably should be in the other forum, but I personally think this one is fine here... I am actually really impressed that you would be able to explain it (no sarcasm intended at all), because I can't. I have tried, but I never feel like I get the full spectrum of what it really is. I only seem to get what it is in the moment... I am sorry for making it sound like your opinion wasn't welcome because it was different... Unfortunately, "I can't believe you could do this" is one of my triggers, as well as "you/he/I/we doesn't get it and never will," so I responded as such, and for that, I am very sorry as well...