[Wingnut13]

I am wondering how I am gonna have a new romantic relationship while I still in therapy for bpd? I have had this most of my life and it affected my marriage badly. If not for her being a wonderful woman she never would've stayed with me. Too bad she died before I was diagnosed.
So,when I start dating a woman do i tell her? And if so,when? One of my problems I have had since I started dating is if the first date goes really well I get to clingy and act like we are in a committed relationship. One time I changed my fb status to in a committed relationship with... And I never saw that woman again. I am wondering if i am up front with the woman right away about my bpd maybe she will understand why I get so clingy after one good date. Any thoughts???

[Truth in Ruin]

I would tell the person before it got serious. Not right away, but not late into the relationship either. I would do it after a few dates.

[beloiseau]

Knowing that you get clingy fast is a good first step to recognizing and changing the behavior, if you want to. The fact that you know you do can help you in maybe recognizing the thoughts and behaviors that lead you to become that way and maybe scare a potential partner.

I agree with Truth...tell the person before you get super serious. This is something I'm going to have to do now as well. I'm looking back on my past relationships and while I didn't think the break-ups were my fault at the time, my behavior probably had a role in it. I get needy and want the guy around all the time. While I try to hide my mood swings, they're probably apparent.

[technigal]

My relationship with my husband got serious extremely quickly so I am not much help. I am glad he is here to support me though the diagnosis and my getting treatment.

[Elektra_]

u cant say right away... 1st people dont even know what bpd is and the ones that do think is awful so they will runaway. as far as being clingy u need to control that.

I am off the market currently, but in the past I have found it worked best if I was up front.
and I know it's hard, but really try to rain the clingy thing in. It makes members of both sexes run for the hills. It will be difacult, especially if you really like the date. but for the sake of maintaining a healthy relationship you must maintain healthy boundries. and this is something your T should be able to help you with.
Best of luck.