[ScarletPimpernel]

Just curious if anyone else does this:

I know people with BPD tend to view the our world in "black and white"; with little to no grey areas.

But I also view myself in the same way: good/bad, adult/child, etc. I know other view themselves like that too.

I was wondering though, does anyone else "split" a person in order to keep them in your life? Examples: the supportive fiance I love/ the abusive fiance; the mother who abandoned me/ the mother who is my best friend; the T I trust/ the T who hurt me... I logically know that these halves belong to one person, but emotionally I cannot allow someone who has hurt me in my life...so I view them as two separate people.

[Moxie Vi]

I do this as well, big time! I even have different reference names for those people so when I'm discussing with others (talking about my T to my mom for example) they will know in which light I am viewing them. I also will refer to the "bad" me as if it's a separate entity. I know that it's all me but it's a trick I started playing with myself to keep the feelings of guilt and self hatred at bay. Kinda like I have an alter ego that does bad things. I'm trying to work on this but it's hard when you feel that way about a person completely at the moment.

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[Jordy]

Yes I do that too! And my behavior depends on which half of the person I'm talking to... Kind of weird actually

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in many things i am very black and white - but not all. I see "some" good in most people..... just NEVER myself.

[beloiseau]

I do split people, and myself, but I have always been able to see grey areas and know my thinking is skewed. I see myself as all bad or all good. I see people I don't know well or am just getting to know as all bad or all good based on trivial things.

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[complex21]

yes yes yes im going through that rite now

Splitting is pretty common with BPD.

BPD BEHAVIORS: Splitting

[ScarletPimpernel]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

Splitting is pretty common with BPD.

BPD BEHAVIORS: Splitting

Yeah. What that link talks about mostly is the "black and white" thinking that is most often described. And I totally do that. But to cope with it, I view the person as two (or more) different people. So my T that I see is the "good" T...that way I can trust her. When she "hurts" me, she is bad T. Good T and bad T cannot exist in one person for me. I can't love someone one day, and hate them the next. If I do that I'll push them completely out of my life because I can't accept good and bad in a person. Does that make sense?

Every time I read about "splitting" it talks about splitting a person into good or bad, but not about "splitting" people into two seperate entities. I guess its similar...just never recognized I do that until now.

[Elektra_]

i think is, besides afraid of rejection/abandonment, the most common characteristic present in a bpd person.

[technigal]

I split some people. The big one for me is my son, at times he is a great kid and others a spoiled brat. I know he is not a spoiled brat, that it is the Aspergers. There is no shades of grey.

[lynn808]

Originally Posted by beloiseau

I do split people, and myself, but I have always been able to see grey areas and know my thinking is skewed. I see myself as all bad or all good. I see people I don't know well or am just getting to know as all bad or all good based on trivial things.

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I split others and myself...Even go by First name sometimes and Middle name at other times.....depends on when people know me from... Early life or later life.....Its very confusing and I am sure others just don't "get me" at all....I am really trying to protect them...... Even if it means pushing them away... I am trying to spare them the roller-coaster ride that is me....