[Angel of Bedlam]

So I live with my mom (who is bipolar), and we have hiccups at times but do okay with the living arrangement. I pay rent and buy all the groceries, she covers the rest.

The problem stems from the holidays. My grandmother is a narcissist and when she last visited, she ended up attacking me in the car (hitting me and pulling my hair), and my biggest issue with the assault is it took place right in front of my then 3-year-old.

I was done. I had no contact with the woman, and I vowed to never speak to her again. The holidays came and it was announced she would be coming to stay with us.

I was LIVID. I was so angry that no one cared about the assault over the summer (I will say I was proud for not hitting back, I just can't hit a 60+ year old lady), and that I was being told to get over it.

I was told she'd only be staying for a couple days. Today is day 8. My mom said she was taking Nancy to my aunt's house today and I was so happy. Ive endured comments about my weight, hair, parenting, and her constant nagging. She picks at everything my son does ans it drives me insane.

For the most part over the last week, things have been okay. I've managed to limit my contact as much as possible but yesterday she crossed the line. She told me I ate enough food for two people and then when I was talking to my mom she butted in and I called her out it.

I've basically had enough of the bulls****. Today was the day she was supposed to disappear and my mom announced when I got home from running errands that she's staying one more day.

I lost it. Why are my feelings not considered? I'm so f***ing tired of walking on eggshells and being constantly ragged on. I WANT HER GONE. I asked my mom why she needed to stay, and was basically told that it was her decision and I needed to accept it.

I feel enraged, no one gives a **** about my feelings.

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[beloiseau]

This sounds terrible, and your family is not being very supportive. Hopefully you can just keep your distance and she will be gone soon. My grandma's husband used to pick on me about my weight sometimes, and he was just generally miserable to be around, so I can at least sort of relate.

[Maranara]

For whatever it's worth, I get it. I've been divorced from my immediate family for about 3 years now due to abuse and them perpetuating a constant feeling of guilt in me. Hang in there, do whatever you can to protect yourself and your daughter and to h*ll with everything else. Hang in there.

[notsocalm]

Your grandma sounds a lot like my mom, I have lately been thinking she has some narcissism. I definitely understand and have had to deal with her for way too many years. More recently I generally try to limit conversations with her to once a week or less if I can. It's still more than I'd like it to be. She also loves to tell people slight comments others make about them, she makes it sound more serious than it actually was. I guess she thrives on conflict and making people feel miserable. Unfortunately, she talks to my mother in law too often and tells me little things she says, I really wish my mother in law wouldn't talk to her but not much I can do about that I guess.

My oldest son can be quite a pain too. I paid for his gastric bypass surgery and he has the nerve to tell people I've never said I love him which is not even true but really 20,000 dollars to save his life says nothing. Also after traveling 100 miles to babysit for his foster kids for two days his wife told some people I slept all day and didn't feed them probably after she coerced the four year old to say that. His wife generally spends at least a week in the hospital per year, hope she can find someone else to watch the kids. I love the kids especially the baby but I'm not going to put up with people saying that about me.

To top that off my mother in law always wants to be babied and when I mentioned it to her she started crying and equated it to my husband not calling her very often. I also tried to set up a day for the Christmas get together so my 20 year old could make it but she made it sound like a separate visit with us would be too much trouble for her. My husband's stepsisters family gets preferential treatment when it comes to scheduling such things. I ended up in the hospital for the week of Christmas with a breakdown so I definitely get what you are saying.

I hope this makes you feel less alone in dealing with such toxic family members. You are definitely right in limiting your contact, it's not quite so easy when it's an aging mother and I do believe she is getting worse with age.

Sounds like granny has gone off the deep end..... I ABHOR PHYSICAL VIOLENCE.... from anyone. even little old ladies.