[jean17]

I feel so tired and sad and lonely. How does one cope when all seems so bleak. I force myself to keep moving, keep doing things. I go until I am too tired to do anymore and then I sleep. Sleep is good because for a few hours I can just not be. The days are so long. I try to hide my pain.

[MobiusPsyche]

I'm sorry you feel so bad. I feel similarly, with regards to sleep being a release from the pressure of "being."

[Fuzzybear]

hibernation rocks

[MatBell]

So sad you're feeling bad. Can I ask why it's so bad right now?

[jean17]

Originally Posted by MatBell

So sad you're feeling bad. Can I ask why it's so bad right now?

Why? I don't know. Maybe I was with people a bit too much for me this past week. Maybe it's the physical pain. Maybe it's the anxiety I feel when I know I have to try yet again to get my doctor to help me. Overwhelmed. Anxious. Tired.

[HD7970GHZ]

Hi Jean17,

You wrote:

Originally Posted by jean17

I feel so tired and sad and lonely. How does one cope when all seems so bleak. I force myself to keep moving, keep doing things. I go until I am too tired to do anymore and then I sleep. Sleep is good because for a few hours I can just not be. The days are so long. I try to hide my pain.

First I want to say you are not alone. What you wrote is exactly how I feel at this stage in my life and that proves to me that I am not alone either. Thanks for posting.

Would you say that you feel trapped? Like maybe you want to move forward, but can't?

How do you cope with these emotions?

I know you say you sleep because it allows you to "just not be." (I can relate to that... I prefer sleep right now to reality. I'd rather have nightmares than be awake because my real life IS a nightmare...)

Setting circumstances aside - do you feel the same way about your life? Is your life a nightmare? Try to think objectively about this - be honest with yourself. If it is a nightmare: does it seem a nightmare when you compare it to other people's lives? To your own expectations for your life? Could it be that you are depressed and thus, you have an impaired ability to think about your life objectively? Tending to see things more negatively?

There is the DBT "comparison" skill... I sometimes browse the live-leak website and force myself to watch disturbing videos about inequality and war overseas... Puts things into perspective. Not to guilt or shame ourselves - but sometimes it helps to put our own judgment and nightmarish life into spotlight through an objective lens... We can easily get caught up in thinking our life is horrible when really, it, isn't, that, bad.

Of course we cannot invalidate our own pain and suffering. Our society may not have wars and genocide but we do have different forms of suffering that often goes overlooked when comparing it to what others deem, "way worse."

In order to change a lifestyle or a habit - we need to force ourselves to break it. Painful at first, but once we see the rewards - and once we have done it long enough - it in itself - becomes a habit. We have then replaced a bad habit with a good habit. Simple concept: difficult to execute. We need to accept our human fallibility and tendency to drift toward immediate gratification and not confuse short term benefits of comfort (sleep) as more important than getting up and doing things that may be uncomfortable to start with - but ultimately lead us to meet our long-term goals of a healthy life.

I hope I have planted seeds in your head... You are not alone and I am currently struggling with change... I apologize if this post has offended you, it may seem judgmental, but I assure you it is not.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz