[Abby]

Does anyone work part time/full time?

How do you manage? Do you have support at work?
Do they know your diagnosis? How do you communicate with your manager?

I have a great manager who is willing to try and understand. I tend to try and separate emotional and work stuff, although of course it leaks through and causes issues. Over time my manager has figured out what my difficulties are and why I am quite confusing to be around. I try not to be over-emotional at work; I'm more likely to say too little than too much.

But sometimes I want to say out-right "I'm scared. Please stop asking so much of me". Or ask "are we okay? what is going on?", or request "please take control of this situation because I can't".

I don't because I can't....plus I figure it's unprofessional. But I really, really want to, at times. Sometimes I feel as though I should say it, to help my manager understand my behaviour (which leaks out no matter how hard I try)...but I can't find the right professional words. How can I translate "I'm scared and overwhelmed by you" into words that don't undermine me? I am capable....until I'm not. It is hard to explain this volatility.

It is hard.

Can you get HR involved? There are ways of dealing with this situation it just has to be done carefully. I think it's more unprofessional not to tell them - god forbid things get out of hand and you end up having no choice but to tell them what's going on. Just keep it on a need to know basis, they don't need a lo-down on symptoms just what you're main difficulties are - and more importantly what can help. Employers respond better to issues when the solution is also there. It sounds like you're already doing this though so unless you feel a need to formalize things i'm sure your employer already has a good idea of how things are.

I don't work simply because the economic situation is screwy - i would earn less working and struggle to survive as it is. Unless i did full time which would give me a tiny bit extra but completely destroy me in the process. So lose-lose. But i want to find a decent volunteer position. My last one was horrible - completely corroded my confidence.

Really hope this situation improves for you.

[Maranara]

There is always the option of working at home. With our high tech society, the opportunities are close to endless. Been doing it for close to a year now.

yes i work. full time. cuz i ALWAYS have. I lied about my age so i could be a paper boy back when I was eleven and have worked full time for the last 37 years (god I am old)..............

more accurately - I "show up" for work each day. but I do not DO any work...

[beloiseau]

I've been on leave from my full time job since the beginning of november. I put my two weeks in a couple of days ago as my leave is about to expire and I don't want to go back. I'm currently going through a barrage of job interviews to try to find a new job...I can't afford to do anything but work full-time and sadly, that's going to interfere with the outpatient program I'm in. Hopefully I can find ways to stay involved in the group while working a day job.

[Starling.]

I have just started working full time. I didn't work when I was at uni because I couldn't have managed both. I am finding it difficult, but I'm fairly sure it is a 'normal' level of difficult; not having had an actual job in years and going to working full time, night shift, in a field I haven't worked in before is bound to be tough!

I had to fill out a medical form before starting and was honest about my difficulties, though I didn't actually know my diagnosis at that point. No-one has mentioned it to me, and considering all the other issues I've had with HR, it's fairly likely it has been lost somewhere! I don't plan on bringing it up, because I don't think it's especially relevant as I'm doing well at the moment, have been for a while. IF I start to struggle in the future, then I can always bring it up with my manager. Hoping that won't happen though!

[Abby]

Originally Posted by Spockette

Can you get HR involved? ....It sounds like you're already doing this though so unless you feel a need to formalize things i'm sure your employer already has a good idea of how things are.

I don't work simply because the economic situation is screwy - i would earn less working and struggle to survive as it is. Unless i did full time which would give me a tiny bit extra but completely destroy me in the process. So lose-lose.

Thank you. I don't feel I require HR involvement. My manager is very willing to understand. My post was, I guess, less to do with how to deal with it practically, and more an emotional outlet for the anxiety that is caused by being in any relationship.

I understand how difficult the economic situation is. I feel for you, I can't work full time either currently and I'm grateful for being in the position I am, even if it is overwhelming at times. I hope you find a volunteer job that boosts your confidence!

Originally Posted by Starling.

I have just started working full time. I didn't work when I was at uni because I couldn't have managed both. I am finding it difficult, but I'm fairly sure it is a 'normal' level of difficult; not having had an actual job in years and going to working full time, night shift, in a field I haven't worked in before is bound to be tough!

I had to fill out a medical form before starting and was honest about my difficulties, though I didn't actually know my diagnosis at that point. No-one has mentioned it to me, and considering all the other issues I've had with HR, it's fairly likely it has been lost somewhere! I don't plan on bringing it up, because I don't think it's especially relevant as I'm doing well at the moment, have been for a while. IF I start to struggle in the future, then I can always bring it up with my manager. Hoping that won't happen though!

I remember starting full time work after university, a definite shock to the system! It is tough, but you will find your routine in time. I worked full time for a few years initially too. I didn't mention it to my manager either (except the medical form and that isn't passed on to them), it is only when it started to be more beneficial for me that I felt the need. I hope you have support externally to support you.

Originally Posted by beloiseau

I've been on leave from my full time job since the beginning of november. I put my two weeks in a couple of days ago as my leave is about to expire and I don't want to go back. I'm currently going through a barrage of job interviews to try to find a new job...I can't afford to do anything but work full-time and sadly, that's going to interfere with the outpatient program I'm in. Hopefully I can find ways to stay involved in the group while working a day job.

That is really tough. I understand needing a full time job but that being a barrier to therapy. I wonder if anyone in your outpatient programme can offer ideas to support you with this dilemma? I hope you find a way though this.

Thanks for the support.

[manicdepressive07]

I've been unemployed for over a month now and (finally) just landed my first interview, (tomorrow, go me!). It's for a home health agency as a caregiver. I'm really excited because I used to be a certified nursing assistant a few years ago and loved it. While I don't have my license anymore, I can still be a caregiver. (Which just means I'll be working with the elderly who are more independent and just need a little help vs. those who need 24 hour care).

I'm really excited, I hope I get the job! This is the best job setting for me (next to working from home) because I don't have to deal with a boss or co-workers. My past issues with work have NEVER been about the actual work... but with the interpersonal relationships like dealing with an overbearing boss and *****y co-workers. This way I'll be working independently, and I'll be able to really make a difference in someone's life which is super rewarding.

I would definitely recommend this type of work for someone who has BPD! Sometimes the hardest part about working is dealing with those interpersonal relationships like I talked about... and this takes away all those problems.