[Starling.]

I'm just curious as to whether any of you actually disagree with your BPD diagnosis.

I joined this site in an attempt to understand better, and I've seen a lot of you saying that when you were diagnosed it all seemed to make sense. I didn't feel that way and I've done quite a bit of reading about it since then and I still don't really.. 'get it'.

I don't fear abandonment, I don't have anger issues, I tend to have stable and long-term relationships. Is it possible to have BPD without the interpersonal issues? I know in theory it is but does anyone relate to that? I was worried that I wasn't recognizing problems in my behaviour because of denial or whatever, so I talked to my parents, the counsellor I saw at university, and a close friend, and they didn't agree with the diagnosis.

I know that none of them can diagnose me and I certainly can't diagnose myself and at the end of the day it doesn't matter a great deal. But I am still trying to understand better and it's a little frustrating. I was just wondering if anyone can relate. And if you did, then how did you come to terms with your diagnosis (i.e. start recognizing where you meet the criteria)?

I go through phases with it. Sometimes I don't agree, sometimes I do. Lately I'm disagreeing more. I too don't have abandonment issues. I can't say I have anger and rage to BPD levels either, but then I internalise it a lot. My mood also doesn't tend to swing as rapidly as others. My T doesn't agree with the diagnosis either. And he definitely knows me better than the pdoc that diagnosed me!

I am starting to consider getting a second opinion from a separate pdoc who doesn't know my current diagnosis and get a full assessment to see what they think. Maybe this is something you could think about too if you're still struggling to come to terms with it.

[The_little_didgee]

I was diagnosed with BPD at the age of 16 and never believed it. That was 20 years ago and I still don't believe it. There are a lot of reasons why I cannot accept this diagnosis. All the reading I have done supports them.

Like you I did not fear abandonment.

If I did have it back then, somehow I recovered without therapy (which isn't supposed to be possible). I quit, because I did not agree with the diagnosis. It was the ONLY reason why I fought with them (one context). My real life relationships were not like that at all. Everything I told the professionals was interpreted from the BPD perspective which didn't explain what I feeling. They didn't want to listen to me. It was frustrating.

My "team" doesn't think I have it. Sometimes I wonder though, because I don't have a job (a calling) and a concrete diagnosis for my psychotic disorder. The best I got was the "schizophrenia spectrum", which I won't accept until I go through another psychosis.

My 'get it' diagnosis was autism spectrum disorder. It described my life and developmental history. Everybody including my family agrees with it. My mother told me, "They finally got it right."

I am socially inept. Relating to people is difficult because I don't get socializing. It has nothing to do with abandonment fears, etc. I have a hard time reading nonverbal cues and making conversations with people. I'd rather be on my own reading books, looking for mushrooms or drawing/painting.

Perhaps the doctor was wrong. It happens a lot. Can you talk with him or her? I would also read books about BPD. Books written for clinicians can be very helpful, because the symptoms and traits are explained in depth.

It is normal to question a diagnosis, even if it is correct. I did. What helped me accept my diagnosis was reading and meeting other people with ASD.

[learningtolive2013]

If I can ask, what symptoms do you have that lead to the diagnosis?

[lazydog]

For some reason I think I am borderline Borderline. Sometimes I think I have some coping skills that have kept me out of therapy, off meds etc, working etc. But I also realize that my BPD has really hindered me from doing a lot of things and been really detrimental to my professional growth and to relationships. Going to first therapy in two weeks after 15 years, going to ask for diagnosis. Probably still be BPD.

It's not only possible, but very common, to have traits of a personality disorder without having the disorder 100%.

[ginaaa22]

my mom, my sister and me all have a dx of BPD. my sisters bpd is more of the self issues like identity disturbance, panic attacks, eating disorders, self harm, and self loathing. she doesnt have anger issues or interpersonal relationships and has been married for 7 years. I, on the other hand, have all of the other parts of bpd. I have 8/9 of the criteria for bpd. she was dx at 15 and me at 23. although I have more outward issues but she was involuntarily admitted many times and I have not been.

check out this site: Out of the FOG - Feelings Of Emptiness

[CandlesAndSage]

Originally Posted by Starling.

I'm just curious as to whether any of you actually disagree with your BPD diagnosis.

I joined this site in an attempt to understand better, and I've seen a lot of you saying that when you were diagnosed it all seemed to make sense. I didn't feel that way and I've done quite a bit of reading about it since then and I still don't really.. 'get it'.

I don't fear abandonment, I don't have anger issues, I tend to have stable and long-term relationships. Is it possible to have BPD without the interpersonal issues? I know in theory it is but does anyone relate to that? I was worried that I wasn't recognizing problems in my behaviour because of denial or whatever, so I talked to my parents, the counsellor I saw at university, and a close friend, and they didn't agree with the diagnosis.

I know that none of them can diagnose me and I certainly can't diagnose myself and at the end of the day it doesn't matter a great deal. But I am still trying to understand better and it's a little frustrating. I was just wondering if anyone can relate. And if you did, then how did you come to terms with your diagnosis (i.e. start recognizing where you meet the criteria)?

I want to disagree with mine because I knew someone else with BPD and while she was a nice person when she was ok, when she wasn't ok, her behavior was completely out of control and completely abusive. But...when I look at the symptoms, I definitely have some of them, so i guess "traits" it is for me! I know BPD manifests differently for all of us....so who knows.

[ScrewedUpMe]

I do agree with the diagnosis myself. I had worked it out before they dared to label me with it. I don't think the DSM criteria are the most useful in working out whether you have BPD or not. I think if you read material and accounts written by people who have lived with BPD and how it affects their life on a day to day basis, you will know one way or another if you have it. Once I read these kinds of things, it described me completely. I had absolutely no doubt about the diagnosis from then onwards, whereas I might not know exactly how each of the criteria apply to me. Hope this helps.

[bpdtransformation]

Starling, yes I disagree with the BPD diagnosis... ironically, my change in thinking began after I recovered from the disorder. (Whether or not I agree with it, I'm now no longer diagnosable as BPD, so it's really academic to me personally).

First of all, no offense is meant, nor is anything here intended to invalidate anyone who feels having the diagnosis is important. I am very empathic toward anyone suffering with borderline symptoms, especially because I suffered horribly from all 9 of these symptoms for many years myself. Hopefully no one will take this personally, and if you are offended by any of my ideas, try to balance it with the positive points I am making below.

But my view now is that BPD is a fabrication - an invalid diagnosis which should not be accepted as a medical condition. I have read widely on BPD both pro and con to come to that viewpoint. The major authors who criticize BPD and attack its validity as a reliable diagnosis include Barry Duncan, William Glasser, Paula Caplan, Herb Kutchins, Stuart Kirk, and in a general way Thomas Szasz. They all have books which critique the validity of BPD and other emotional disorders. From reading their books, it's also clear that they are empathic people who support the recovery of people with "borderline" and other painful mental health symptoms. I am exactly the same way.

My main problem with BPD is that the "diagnosis" relies on the subjective judgment of different therapists. The diagnosis also relies on the therapist's judgment about complex human behaviors and relationship patterns, not on the presence of observable physical symptoms as with most diseases. Human emotionality and relationships are by their nature constantly changing and difficult to measure. That is why studies show that psychiatrists often cannot agree when diagnosing the same person. This point is covered extensively in Paula Caplan's book, Bias In Psychiatric Diagnosis.

So my view is that while all of the symptoms of BPD are individually real and do occur to different degrees in different people - that it doesn't make sense to think out of 5 out of 9 of them as suddenly constituting a "disorder" once they reach a certain level of intensity.

I would ask the following rhetorical questions about BPD, as it is defined via the 9 symptoms in the DSM:
- Mathematically, there are at least 126 possible ways that one can be diagnosed with BPD, if any 5 out of 9 of these criteria is the threshold for a diagnosis. Is each of those 126+ “forms” of BPD an equally valid and meaningful form of the same disorder?
- Is it possible for psychiatrists to consistently determine the degree of each of the 5 (out of 9) traits that is needed for a BPD diagnosis? That is, how can a psychiatrist consistently say, for example, at what point a person’s interpersonal relationships are “intense enough” or “unstable enough” to warrant inclusion as a factor in a BPD diagnosis?

Actually, I do think BPD is valid, but in a different, symbolic or metaphorical way. One can think of a "borderline spectrum" of problems in functioning, existing between psychotic (schizophrenic) and neurotic/relatively people. In this view, borderline symptoms exist alonga continuum of severity, and there is no clear "borderline personality disorder", no firm dividing line between borderline and non-borderline. In my own experience, as I recovered, there was not one day when I woke up and was suddenly non-borderline. Certainly no psychiatrist would diagnose me with BPD today (but one did do so 10 years ago).

It is also suspect that the definition for BPD changes subtly from DSM edition to DSM edition. That to me is an additional clue that, from the beginning, one unitary borderline disorder never existed - outside of the minds of psychiatrists who project it onto similar-appearing, yet unique patients.

Paradoxically, I think having BPD around as a diagnosis does have some use, even if it doesn't "literally" exist, because it helps people to find treatment, helps create support groups like this, and is reassuring to some people. That is why generally I speak about BPD as though it were a real diagnosis, even though underneath I don't believe that it is.

Again, if you don't like my view, you don't have to agree. But coming to this view on BPD has helped me to understand my mind better, and to reduce the stigma associated with having once been diagnosed with BPD. I only share it in the hope that others may find it interesting and useful.

[Starling.]

Thank you all for replying and sharing your experiences. It's really interesting to hear your thoughts.

I would have liked to discuss it with the psychiatrist, as it would have been helpful to have it properly explained to me. But unfortunately, he decided not to tell me. I found out by accident during an appointment with my GP, and I now live in a different area. I'm not sure that I actually care enough to ask for a second opinion!

The aspects I relate to are self harm (in the past) and mood swings, though typically mine last weeks or months rather than hours or days. I'm not sure which other aspects the psychiatrist saw in me.

I have been reading accounts by people with BPD and it still doesn't really 'click' with me but I will continue reading - and yes, reading more in depth books might be helpful.

bpdtransformation, thank you for sharing your thoughts, I find it really interesting and I agree with you to a certain extent. I'm wondering if you feel the same way about all mental health diagnoses?