[MissGuzzy]

Good evening all,

Quick question: When dating a new man, is it responsible to address my BPD at a very early stage? Or is it none of his business?

Would like to get your opinion on the subject.

Thank you.

[Elektra_]

no... just when u have solid relationship and confidence enough to do it. first he probb wont even know what bpd is, and if he does is probb the bad definition of it. then in beginning of relationship u wont show the bad side of u or he will run right away. third if he sticks with u is bc he liked u and this u has bpd on it so...

[aleej28]

Bring it up only necessary and if you're comfortable with it. For example, if you're just having "one of those days" it might be beneficial to tell him so he can better understand. However like you said and how I feel like a lot of people feel on here that it is none of his business or anyones outside of your doctors....so do whatever you feel comfortable with. My exfiance started blaming everything on my BPD and meds but my boyfriend who's also a good friend of mine is much more understanding and gives me space when I need it

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[atomicc]

No, if I dated I wouldn't tell someone till I absolutely had to.

[henrydavidtherobot]

Having BPD is a small fraction of who I am as a person and I don't think it needs to be addressed right away. I'm a bit more open about my Cyclothymia. I have only told three friends that I have BPD.

[greentires4me]

I would say no because I am trying to learn stuff about the other person I don't want to be berried with too much information all at once.

[bpdtransformation]

I told my current girlfriend how I used to have BPD, after I had dated her for about 8 months. She got to know and like me as a person before I introduced anything to her about mental health diagnoses. It's really not a big deal between us and doesn't affect the relationship, which is going well.

[live2ski66]

I wouldn't mention it until I decide, or we decide, there is a mutual interest. Who knows, in your quest to know him better you might find out that he is quite familiar with BPD, perhaps a relative or friend has it.

[beloiseau]

I would wait and see if it comes up. It's not who you are, it's just a part of what you have to deal with and everyone has issues they don't share until later on. I've told a few friends and ex-boyfriends and they really couldn't give a crap or don't believe me.

a date???

What is this foreign thing that you call a DATE?

[marmaduke]

Originally Posted by Useless Me

a date???

What is this foreign thing that you call a DATE?

Awww
I was wondering that. x

[marmaduke]

Originally Posted by MissGuzzy

Good evening all,

Quick question: When dating a new man, is it responsible to address my BPD at a very early stage? Or is it none of his business?

Would like to get your opinion on the subject.

Thank you.

Definitely not at an early stage, could scare him off. Be patient and wait awhile.

[Gingersnapsmom]

Originally Posted by MissGuzzy

Good evening all,

Quick question: When dating a new man, is it responsible to address my BPD at a very early stage? Or is it none of his business?

Would like to get your opinion on the subject.

Thank you.

TOTALLY none of his business in my opinion

[SeekerOfLife]

Originally Posted by Useless Me

a date???

What is this foreign thing that you call a DATE?

Hah! I know how you feel! It's hard being middle aged. Too young for the rocking chair, and too old to date.

As far as bipolar stuff, I would not bring it up anywhere near the beginning of a relationship. As someone said, being bipolar (or whatever) is only a small part of who you are. I guess you would have to take it one date at a time. And always be praying about it. (And by the way, the other person may be hiding something too.)

[Espresso]

I don't think it's relevant.

One of the issues BPD people often have is oversharing too early on in a relationship. I would never tell a date that I have BPD. Why do that? Disclosing your mental health diagnosis can wait a while.

Yeah I wouldn't unless u was with him a while x

[Smellyfinger]

Not at all. If you tell them, they'll probably look it up. And it doesn't seem to be one of those things that can be shrugged off as "everyone's got problems". I mean the phrase "losing touch with reality" would be enough to push someone away.

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[ginaaa22]

I wouldnt tell until you were comfortable. You don't want to scare him off. After he gets to know you then you can tell him. Most BPD suffferers don't exhibit symptoms when they first start dating someone. here is a good webpage to show how you change during the dating process. How a Borderline Personality Disorder Love Relationship Evolves - Roger Melton, M.A.
This was true for me. Although when I started dating my fiance I wasnt diagnosed with bipolar or BPD yet but I knew I had issues.

[Starling.]

I think it depends on the situation. I feel like I have to tell someone before it becomes terribly serious, because I feel like they have the right to know. Also I have scars from self harm and it would be really awkward if I didn't explain before hand and then they were noticed in.. uh, certain situations.

Having said that, I wouldn't mention it before I thought things were getting to the potentially serious stage, and even then I probably wouldn't leap straight in with my diagnosis, I would say that I have / had MH problems and explain how they've affected me.