[ginaaa22]

So it seems like every so often I'm always having world war 3 with my fiance about something or another. Usually its because I'm upset about something else and I displace me being hurt on him but it comes out as anger as a coping mechanism. I know what caused my BPD. My sister has it too. My mom was abusive as a child and wasnt around when we were little. She was kinda around but not much. So it always happens by me getting mad or sad and flipping out. then i get so mad i say stupid things i dont mean but its like im a different person. I just cant control myself. I dont know what my triggers are yet. I'm just starting counseling and I dont know if she is going to do DBT. She is going to be counseling me and my fiance and just charging my insurance company because he doesnt have health coverage. I can flip out on the flip of a dime and for all reasons. I have chronic pain and women issues so if Im having either one of those its a recipe for disaster. Then after I'm done being mad I get really sad and feel stupid for what I did and then I cry. I'm tired of going up down up down all the time. Is there any way I can control this? I dont know what to do at this point except keep going on like I have been...

[bpdtransformation]

From my own experience, the best way to get better in the long-term is really work hard on yourself in and out of therapy. For me that meant going to therapy for a number of years, and forming a better, more positive relationship with my therapist to compensate for the abuse I had from my parents. It also meant working hard on developing new friendships, hobbies, and a career, with my therapists and with my few existing friends' support. All of these were new things to me and very challenging at the beginning. But I succeeded and things are going much better now.