[allme]

deleted....

[Trippin2.0]

Sending you lots of hugs
Please feel free to PM me.

I hope you're safe allme

[Verity81]

Hope your ok?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[allme]

Thank you...but no I really am not ok. I literally wish I was dead right now. The pain and hurt I feel is not of this world. My husband is back but we are discussing separation. I told him I don't want to be with him anymore....I don't want to be with anyone and I don't want to see anyone. I have turned my phone off. To hell with it all. I wish this pain and hurt would go away I can't take it. The urge to cut my legs is unreal. I want to hurt myself. I am crying so hard right now, although I don't want anyone I still want someone to hug me and tell me everything is going to be ok.

[avlady]

Please don't hurt yourself, do you have someone you can talk to? a doc or t? I would call in an emergency appointment with them if you need too and if you have them. I feel for you i am in alot of pain emotionally from the things that have happened to me and it is excruciating pain, so i know how you feel.

[allme]

Thanks....I am sorry you feel bad yourself I have been in the chat room which has helped calm me down. I don't know what I would do without this place I really don't. My husband left me a voicemail saying he is going to be home soon and wants us to talk....he also said he loves me. What he loves is beyond me, I am a disgusting human being with nothing to offer other than pain.

[Verity81]

He loves you cos he just does! Like my husband loves me even when I'm crying and shouting! Do you think you could try to stay together? Would couple counselling help? ((((Hugs)))

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I recently went through a time of thinking I don't want to be with my bf anymore. I too didn't want to see or be with anyone. I was full of self loathing and I turned this outwards too. I wanted to shut everyone out...but I also needed hugs. It was such a contradiction, I was so massively needy of other people and pushing them away at the same time.

I'm still not completely over these thoughts. I still think I shouldn't be with my bf anymore. But it is better than it was a month or so ago.

Whats changed in the last month? Nothing except my mood. I feel better. I've been on a definite upswing and I feel like I'm part of this world for once. I'm normally so disconnected and numb.

What I'm trying to say is to wait it out. Do you think you can do that? You have a lot going on right now and its bound to affect your moods which in turn will affect your relationship. Please try to wait it out. He loves you. Yes I find this impossible to believe too when my bf says it, but they don't just say it for no reason.

You can get through this allme, you are so strong

Please pm me at any time. I will always respond and try to help

[allme]

Thanks guys.

My husband is really trying to be nice but it just isn't any good. You know, if I died tonight, if it wasn't for my husband, no one would know for weeks. I am such a loner and so isolated nobody would miss me. I feel as though there is no end to this, I feel like this is it, I feel pushed over the edge this time and I just hope to God I don't wake up tomorrow morning. I wish I had the courage to do it, just get it over and done with. EVen if I did get better, it doesn't change the fact it WILL happen again. It doesn't change how crap I am at life and how crap I am at everything. I HATE MYSELF! And seriously, I have nothing to offer anyone not even myself.

[allme]

My husband wants us to try, but I am done trying, I want him to f*** of with everyone else in my life

Thats just not true. I would miss you. I miss you when you haven't been online lately. I miss our chats

And you have done so much for me whether you realise it or not. Always supporting me when I'm at my lowest. You're a big part of why I haven't given up already. Of why I do reach out to people IRL when i am in danger.

You are not crap

[allme]

There is no point to any of this, I see no point in carrying on, what do I have to live for? Just a life time of misery and pain. I don't want to do this anymore. I am tired, so so tired, please god just release me, I can't do this anymore I can't, please someone just see what this life is doing to me and end it for me. I can't even do that for myself, I am a ****** mess of a ******* nothing! I am a thick stupid **** and need to be put of my misery. Screw life you heap of ****.

Are you safe? Please can you call crisis team or something?

[allme]

I feel like I am losing it

[allme]

Originally Posted by secretwhisper

Are you safe? Please can you call crisis team or something?

I feel so exhausted, I am just going to bed, all this crying has made me feel zapped. I am just going to bed, I will cut myself before I tried to take an over dose and I remember cutting being enough....I guess it's better than od'ing.

Are you going to bed now? If thoses urges get too much for you please call someone I know the place you're in right now and how much fun it isn't.... just wish I could help

[allme]

Originally Posted by secretwhisper

Are you going to bed now? If thoses urges get too much for you please call someone I know the place you're in right now and how much fun it isn't.... just wish I could help

Thanks so much...I have taken a handful of sleeping tablets....should knock me out soon

Sleep well, be safe

[allme]

It's just non stop ya know? It's just so hard and so unforgiving. NOthing makes sense to me anymore, I really an questioning what the point in it all is..I find joy in nothing and have no fun doing anything. My marriage is in ruins, my life is going nowhere and I don't see anything ever changing. I am so done, I am so so so done, I am really over trying now. I just pray pls god give me the strength to end it all soon. I don't want to try anymore. It's too hard and I have nothing to live for.

I am gonna go in the bed room and lay down...these tablets should kick in soon. Sorry for my multi crazy posting, it helps to write what I am feeling down.

I know and I get it It will get better. You jiust have to get through this blip and come out the other side like you have done before. You can do it

[allme]

(((((((secretwhisper)))))))))

Thank you so much for being there last night. You calm voice of reason really helped and you just being there also helped. I feel much better today. A little numb and exhausted from all that emotion last night, but I am feeling much more with it. I hate those nights like last night. They scare me. I was so close to hurting myself, which is why I dosed myself full of sleeping tablets. They just knocked me out thankfully. I am hoping for a calmer day today

Thanks so much

[allme]

I noticed a lot of ppl saw my thread but didn't say anything when I really needed them too. Thank God for secretwhisper and thank you to the others that replied initially but seriously how could you ignore someone like that?

Feeling upset now, I would never ignore someone in such a state! It just because it was me that ppl didn't bother. Just like in real life, hardly anyone cares about me. I just went into chat and was basically ignored there too. Thanks a fricking bunch.

[Trippin2.0]

My network connection sucks monkey balls, I haven't been able to reply until now, so I haven't been ignoring you.

I'm glad you're safe

I am so glad you woke up feeling better today And I'm glad i was able to help!

I'm sorry you're feeling ignored. I've been ignored in similar instances so it's not just you. And it doesn't just happen here either. I guess maybe people find it hard to know what to say when we are in such a state? I don't know. Please try not to let it get you down again. Keep fighting the fight

[Alone & confused]

I just now found your post. I'm glad you're ok now, or at least safe! I've been sick with the flu or some Fresh New Hell or maybe I would have found this sooner and responded! I hope everything gets better for you soon! Sorry for the late response! Either me, or my "cocktail"of cold & flu meds are feeling a little better today so if you need to talk, I'm here.