[tattoogirl33]

This is a text I just received from my ex. We have a 10 yr old son together. He said he wanted to understand BPD better so he could help me. But this is the response I got after sending him a perfect explanation of how he could help me.
His spelling and grammar sucks.. I wonder how he graduated high school! grrrrr.. I hate this man, yet I want him. Why?

Handling u is easy for me. You handling ur self is the issue u can overcome. It's not excuses or just start issues to keep the pot stir cause u can an then use your issues as your ex cape. I read 95 percent of your article. You ate your difficult if you allow people to help you an quit using issues as own worst enemy. Your scared of what people think of you an if your a good person. Ur your worst enemy an I'm just your way out-one who takes the blame, criticizing. Your not getting any better cause you don't want to, everyone has border line disorder in them. We just chose to cop with life unsteady of running an being scared. You sure can fine a sociable life style on the internet or evening out. Why can you find a sociable work style Your scared. Well Some day your gonna have to change, child support won't be there an others won't be there. What you going to do then. Have a nice night. I'm done here. I get *son* at 1 on sun

[cboxpalace]

What do you mean how would you handle it?

God damn is he a moron or what? Yeah, I wonder why you'd want him too.

He's basically saying everyone has borderline traits in them and they learn to deal with and cope with their problems rather than runaway from them like you do. He's implying that the reason you don't change is because you have his support "money". You can socialize on the internet or an evening out on the town, but what are you going to do when the child support runs out. He won't be there and neither will anyone else. He's asking what are you going to do then? You are your own worst enemy because you use your mental health issues as an excuse.

The bottom line is he doesn't understand bpd or anything else mental health as it relates to you and probably mental health in general.

There isn't much you can do because he doesn't understand mental health, and he's not interested in understanding. He has to deal with you now, but once he no longer has to pay child support he's done and you'll no longer be able to rely on him.

So the best way to deal with it would be to establish boundaries and have a professional relationship with him. You share kids, but he's not your friend and it doesn't sound like he's interested in being friends.

Apologies for being so redundant.

[tattoogirl33]

See Cbox, this is why I adore you. I love the way you are able to put everything into perspective. Yes, he's a freakin moron. Yes I know all of what you said is true. I live in denial. It's comfortable here, hurts like hell but I've had 100% survival rate thus far. I've allowed my want for this man to understand me to sidetrack me and hold me back from working on me. I take 1 step forward then 4 steps back. I know I should be so much farther ahead in my "recovery" than I am now. It's not his fault he has nothing to work with "upstairs", but for me it is my fault I continue to allow this situation to waste precious minutes, days, weeks of my time.

Thank you for the reality check. Now could you just come kick me in the butt once in a while? I feel so stupid.