[ginaaa22]

sorry this is going to be long...

so before I knew I had BPD I got into a huge fight with my cousin whom I was very close to. I knew I was bipolar at this time but I was still having alot of problems with my medications. I was not in therapy. She was supposed to be my maid of honor in my wedding and because we kept fighting (because of me mostly) she said she didnt want to do it anymore. This made me really mad. So I ignored her for a few days. I was still mad at this point. So she texted me again (I hate talking to her via text...things always get misconstrued) and basically pissed me off even more. Then her friend who was a bridemaid in my wedding backed out and I felt it was because of my cousin. I lost it. She started to ignore me which made me even more mad. When I get really mad I act like a child or if I dont get my way I throw a hissy fit. So I decided it would be a good idea to post something on facebook to the effect of that we were done and it isnt my fault that she hates her life because her husband is an alcoholic and abusive. which is true. she got really pissed off. She hasnt talked to me in over 8 months and Ive apologized a million times. She wont even listen to the fact that I have BPD. So fast forward to christmas...she wasnt there but her mom was. Mind you my cousin is 33 years old. Her mom flipped out on me and said I was a disgrace to my family and Im going to hell blah blah blah which made me seriously upset. I was abused as a child and stuff like that makes me feel really uncomfortable. No one said anything to her about flipping out on me. Im still really upset over this but no one gets why. They think I should just "let it go" but I cant. So this weekend is easter. My dad wants me to come home. I dont want to. I want to see him but he will be at my families where my aunt will be and possibly my cousin. I dont know what to do. My dad doesnt understand why Im still upset or why I dont want to go. Maybe Im just being a baby or overreacting.

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by ginaaa22

sorry this is going to be long...

so before I knew I had BPD I got into a huge fight with my cousin whom I was very close to. I knew I was bipolar at this time but I was still having alot of problems with my medications. I was not in therapy. She was supposed to be my maid of honor in my wedding and because we kept fighting (because of me mostly) she said she didnt want to do it anymore. This made me really mad. So I ignored her for a few days. I was still mad at this point. So she texted me again (I hate talking to her via text...things always get misconstrued) and basically pissed me off even more. Then her friend who was a bridemaid in my wedding backed out and I felt it was because of my cousin. I lost it. She started to ignore me which made me even more mad. When I get really mad I act like a child or if I dont get my way I throw a hissy fit. So I decided it would be a good idea to post something on facebook to the effect of that we were done and it isnt my fault that she hates her life because her husband is an alcoholic and abusive. which is true. she got really pissed off. She hasnt talked to me in over 8 months and Ive apologized a million times. She wont even listen to the fact that I have BPD. So fast forward to christmas...she wasnt there but her mom was. Mind you my cousin is 33 years old. Her mom flipped out on me and said I was a disgrace to my family and Im going to hell blah blah blah which made me seriously upset. I was abused as a child and stuff like that makes me feel really uncomfortable. No one said anything to her about flipping out on me. Im still really upset over this but no one gets why. They think I should just "let it go" but I cant. So this weekend is easter. My dad wants me to come home. I dont want to. I want to see him but he will be at my families where my aunt will be and possibly my cousin. I dont know what to do. My dad doesnt understand why Im still upset or why I dont want to go. Maybe Im just being a baby or overreacting.

i don't think you are overreacting at all, i mean it was a big fight and you guys were really close..but in time i think that should have blown over. 8 months is kinda a long time to hold a grudge over a fight & i'm guessing this isn't the first time you guys have fought ever.i do think it was mean to post the comment on facebook, but...you know how we do when we get mad, so that's to be expected.It's very hard to let things go, but if you guys make up...maybe she could be your maid of honor again, i think you would like that, right? i know you don't want to go, but i think you should..who knows maybe things work out and you guys make up! worse case scenario if things go bad ( on holidays with my family they always do so i avoid them) you can always leave and be done & you can say "hey, i tried..that's it. i;m done" i hope this helps & good luck!