Psych hospital?

So I'm trying to debate with myself whether or not I need to go into hospital.
I've had a six month long stay in one already, honestly it wasn't very good but it was kinda good. I had an abrupt discharge because I turned 18 so I kinda feel like I never got to finish my treatment there.
But that aside, now I'm really not doing well. I really struggle to get out of bed, I spend hours just to get out, when I finally do I usually go back to it in a couple of hours so I pretty much spend my day there. I've done nothing productive in so long.
The outpatient services here are a joke, I'm getting no therapy or help at all, I see a doctor once a month. All he does is give me a new prescription for my meds and sends me off again. I'm really struggling with this, I feel like I need the help.
I also need a break from my everyday life, I'm only 18 and I still live with my parents. I really don't get along with them. And it dosnt help that I'm struggling so much, we fight so much over me not doing like(like getting out of bed). They just don't seem to get it that I have no motivation for these type of things and I really can't handle it much more.
All of these things together are making me feel kinda suicidal. There's times when I have no problem with the thoughts and I'm safe but there's time when I lose control of them.
The reasons I'm not sure if I should go into one is, it's like a two hour drive to it. My parents hated it when I was in hospital last time and it was only an hours drive.
I promised my self I wouldn't go into hospital again, when I left my last one, I was actually in a good place and I made a pact never to go into one again and I really don't want to break it.
I'm not suicidal 100% of the time, this one is worrying me. See I'll have to say it to my doctor and my mum first and I don't want to tell my mum especially that I feel like I need to go into hospital and then when I'm assessed I'm told that I'm not like ill enough to stay in hospital(I'm really bad at expressing how I feel and have been misunderstood many times as to how bad I actually am)

Sorry that this is a super long post but thanks for reading.

Maybe talk to the doctor about what's going on and see what he says?

Also, you shouldn't let your pact stop you. You could make a pact to live as healthy as possible so as not to require hospitalization ever, but if suddenly you need an appendectomy, you shouldn't (and I'm assuming wouldn't) deny yourself that because of your pact. Don't treat mental illness any differently. If you need to be hospitalized, then don't hesitate.

I think if you're going to commit to something such as longer term hospitalization again, you need a clearer understanding of your expectations - are you looking to make some considerable changes or just need a place to run too? The reason i ask is because i was in a similar position as yourself. Unfortunately there's no place to go. The choice we have is to try and face up to what's wrong or try and continue without the help we may desperately need. The difficulty a lot of the time is that our symptoms make it harder for us to make such decisions and subsequently deprive us of motivation anyway. What were the main issues with the previous hospital? If it was mainly lack of structure and/or decent therapy are you absolutely sure there are no other options at all? Sometimes you can get a better quality and/or amount of therapy on an outpatient basis. All i would encourage is you do as much research as possible - your doc might be better able to inform you about what's available. If you can express that this is what you require but this time it must be a more productive stay - i don't see why he wouldn't be in a position to take you seriously and acknowledge your needs. Perhaps he might be able to talk to the care providers from your previous hospital? From there you could develop a more appropriate care plan the second time around and even if the resources are limited you might derive more from the stay than just respite.

Jane, hospitalization is a difficult decision and outcomes vary with each hospital. I have very similar issues that you are struggling with. Heck, I'm 43 and I had to move back in with my parents a year and 1/2 ago. Don't feel there is something to be embarrassed about because you're still with your parents at 18. You need to stay focused on getting better and then, when you are healthier, you'll be ready to get your own place. Don't rush it. For me, being hospitalized got me out of crisis but it did not really prepare me to deal with the world. But, that might just be the type of tx offered by the particular hospitals I went to at the time. I've had better luck with 1:1 tx with Ts and pdocs. Yeah, my illness has progressed and I've had to come back to my parents for some assistance but I'm trying to do my best. I also found OutPt programs to be of little benefit. I don't know why--they just were not really relevant to my situation. The programs were sorta cookie cutter format and did not address my individual needs. I totally understand how difficult it is to force yourself out of bed and I don't think its a lack of motivation. You sound like you WanT to get out of bed and that means you're motivated--but, sometimes, even if you are motivated, your illness can hold you hostage in that dang bed. Do it a little at a time...don't give up. If I have had a bad day, I sometimes have to just let it go and promise myself to give it another go the next day......D.