[shakespeare47]

You're minding your own business when an acquaintance comes up and out of the blue asks you if you know so and so. There is no context, just the question.

You do know so and so, in fact you had some rather painful interactions with so and so. Then you're left wondering what the hell that question was all about

I usually just answer "yes, I do know so and so".

How do you handle it?

[CANDC]

Well maybe it is time to put on the dog: "Oh yeah, so and so, how are they doing? When was the last time you saw them?"
Or make a mental note of that person and how they used a "trigger" to push your button. If someone keeps trying to push your button, time to get over those painful interactions if possible so you are not always so vulnerable to button pushing. Or next time say "never heard of them? Why do you ask?" and just mellow out and see where the conversation goes.

[waiting4]

Depends on the aquaintance but if I feel it's a trap (trigger) my first reaction is to say, "Why do you ask?" I admit nothing because I'm not sure what the dealio is, and I've no intention of being played.

Honestly, even if it is a friend who asks if I know 'such and such', or a stranger, for that matter, my very first reaction which I always follow, is "why do you ask?"

If their response is troublesome...i.e. because they did such and such, I would ask further inquiries, dodging any knowledge, but if the person they wanted to know about caused hurtful memories, I'd agree I knew them, but then state flatly I didn't feel interest in talking about them. Not that it made me uncomfortable...that I had no interest.

I've never seen it fail. And I've been put on the spot like that more than one time.
Hope this helps..

[shakespeare47]

I'm not so sure why it's hard for me to ask "why do you ask?". The instances I'm thinking about, it was an obvious trap.

[waiting4]

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

I'm not so sure why it's hard for me to ask "why do you ask?". The instances I'm thinking about, it was an obvious trap.

I'm not sure either, but if I know it's an obvious trap, I guess because I go into defense mode instantly, it's a trained reaction. I literally can't think of anything else to say. It's a dodge I suppose, a way to buy a little time so I can 'get away' verbally, or physically.

It tends to put them off because now they have to say why, and based on their answer, if they are being total jerks, it becomes obvious...to both of us. And then the physical walking away, with the attendant eyebrow raise of derision and comment, "not interested in talking about them" is far easier to manage. And leaves them, with copious amounts of egg on their faces.

[Kimaya]

Ooo... yea, I am with you not to rise to the bait. Not like they will answer. I mean whats to stop them from going: No reason, just wondering.

Still, I think if it continued Id be highly tempted to play. I like the suggestion above to just say No, or maybe say: "Probably, I know a lot of people. Need help with something?"

edit - or, "Hey, yeah! Isn't he/she on probation now? Say Hi for me"

[shakespeare47]

@Kimaya... "on probation". I love it, lol.